Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Sit with Me

Psalm 73:23-24 - Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

II Corinthians 3:18 - And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

II Corinthians 3:18 (ICB) - Our faces, then, are not covered. We all show the Lord's glory, and we are being changed to be like him. This change in us brings more and more glory. And it comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Hebrews 13:15 - Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.

Dear God, If only Tom would have been consistent with me, then how much better things could be. But because he chose to believe untruths rather than the truth that he had already acknowledged several times, and because he chose not to work through the conflict and aim for restoration and seek peace, things escalated. He caused further damage when he violated all of his promises and his compromise. He turned ugly and is not the same Tom. And the Tom he became is not a Tom that should even be in a ministry position. And that breaks my heart. But the strangest thing is that I have been consistent in trying to show him the very same grace he used to show me and I have consistently tried to offer him the opportunity to correct the error of his ways. And really, it isn't too late because there are still two weeks left before the complaint would be made known. God, You know my heart is good in this. Please work in his heart to bring about the conversation that needs to happen. The one conversation that could actually help bring about more peace. What he did was injust, lacked grace, hateful, and arrogantly stupid. Through this, my mom has actually even begun to see You as well. She knows I am hurting yet I have shown far greater courage than is even possible for me to have. Right now, things are just so messed up. Attorneys that lack professionalism and never contact people sending inquiries be they already on a retainer due to contractual obligation or not. Agencies that claim they do things yet just don't have the resources to do the things they claim to do. I mean, really. Professionalism is a key thing to maintain if you want to make a good impression, and making a bad impression gets you called out big time. I am still not able to attend church right now. And that makes me sad. But the damage they did was so wrong and so unnecessary. They claim to believe in grace but they don't even practice it. They claim to believe in church discipline but they don't practice it. Tom claimed it was because of my autism. And if that is the case, then they basically put a big target sign on my back for all the leadership to see that said kick her until she is dead. And Tom, knowing that it was wrong, let it happen! And then he just joined right in. He knew it was wrong. He acknowledged it was wrong. Yet he still let it happen and joined in? God, I know the answer to this, but do You NOT see where Tom was wrong by his very own actions in this? Oh, wait. So that is where the complaint came in. Because Tom knew that what was going on was wrong, acknowledged that it was wrong, yet still he allowed it to happen and then joined in what he already knew and acknowledged to be wrong! And You call that sin. The repentance he needs to show is not so much with You as it is with me. I know You want me to forgive him, and if he would talk to me and restore Facebook, I could easily say I forgive you to him, but until then, I, like You, am hesitant to forgive him. I know You forgive us. WHEN WE ASK. And we repent. I am just evidencing more of You based on how You act according to the Bible. The funny thing is, the more I act like You, the more radical some people see me as being. Oh well. Jesus was seen as radical in His time, too. In response to something. I had seen about something Miley Cyrus (that girl has gone beyond Britney Spears' level of crazy) posted, but she got criticized for it big time, on none other than a page claiming to be Christian but in reality is almost as divisive as Fox News (which has no business being called news because they are too biased (hopefully they are not members of the SPJ or I would need to ask the SPJ to revoke their memberships for ethical violations)), but with the exception of one point, I agreed with her post. Jesus actually did define marriage in one of the passages where He taught about divorce. But Jesus never spoke about abortion or birth control. One reason I see is that even though He spoke about the least of these in Matthew 25, who are being even more oppressed by the republicans now than ever, is because Jesus didn't consider it possible to actually oppress the born. You can oppress the living, but you cannot truly oppress the unborn. And undoubtedly, the women who choose abortion probably felt oppressed before they made the decision (wouldn't you if you were a poor woman on SNAP because your husband was killed in war, you got pregnant by rape, but your lawmakers placed the burden of proof on you to prove it was rape or threatened to take away your SNAP benefits like they do in Pennsylvania and are trying to do everywhere now?). So the woman is already being oppressed before she got pregnant. She was oppressed because she got raped. She chooses abortion because of it. And she gets oppressed even more being called a murderer over a decision made due to stupid lawmakers who claim to be Christian? This is playing out exactly the way things were happening back when Jesus talked about the least of these to start with! As to birth control, it didn't exist as we know it back then. But anyone who says that it is unbiblical is being legalistic. Birth control is used in women like me who have life threatening anemia in order to prevent bleeding out. Pretty much, I am no longer allowed to bleed at all because of the severity of things. Major freak out, God. I lost one of the pills. Probably rolled under the refrigerator that needs replacing soon. But the ironic thing is the same people that are so against abortion are also against the Affordable Care Act (I'm not based on biblical study I did into it) which can help women who pay for insurance obtain birth control at no cost if it meets certain specifications which can actually do more to reduce unwanted pregnancies which then reduces abortion rates, against SNAP and welfare (by the way, they need to stop clumping disability, social security, and veteran's benefits (they earned those benefits) into welfare). So they are trying to have things both ways. They lost that argument though when the FDA made Plan B an over the counter drug which means insurance doesn't pay for it anymore. The majority of people who are saying they are against the ACA are the ones who managed to get assistance to pay for their insurance. Here I am, in greater need of assistance and being harassed by the marketplace because my governor chose to put politics over people in Alabama. I'm supposed to qualify for Medicaid because I have disabilities that I am fighting with social security about (all of which are in the covered disabilities guide by the way, God, so You see the problem, right - neither the churches nor the government seem to actually want to help the least of these?). Ugh! God, seriously. I am all over the map this morning because I have so much pent up emotion! Tom was and is wrong. His church was and is wrong. The republicans are wrong. And Fox News and The Christian Post are wrong. Anything that goes against Your word at any point is wrong. Tom violated Your word when he allowed what he acknowledged to be wrong to happen and then joined in. His church violated Your word when they chose to not show the grace they claim to believe in and chose not to exercise proper church discipline with me. The republicans are wrong because they keep hurting the people who are lower income while they claim to be Christians. Fox News is wrong because they are biased. The Christian Post is wrong because they post divisive things and every time they post about the president, they do it in an effort to stir up division. And the people on that page violate Your word with every attack they make on him. Romans 13 says we are to respect every God-given authority under heaven and to pray for them. Where was all this name calling when Bush was president? But a black man is now president, something I never thought possible in my life, and suddenly, it's like the Civil Rights era all over again. They will probably do the same when a woman gets into office, too. Oh, God, so many people make me ashamed to be a Christian at times. They claim to be Christians while yet hating on everyone who is the least of these. Today, I actually thank You for giving me autism because one of the best parts is my honesty and my integrity and my genuineness. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

One World by TobyMac (YouTube)

One time
One world
Two times
One love
Three times
Rewind
'Cause I'm a dedicate this song to everyone of God's children

Come as you are
Come just like you be
It's the bumps and curves of our history
But no blocks in the road that we can't traverse
And no wounds from the past that can't be nursed

All,hate gonna dissipate from our fate
No check, together we got a checkmate
All hate gonna dissipate and fade away
To make room for a brand new day

We got one world 'til it's time to fly
We got so it's one love 'til we say good-bye
We got one world it's enough to share
'Til we're called home and we're called up in the air we got

One world
I'll look out for you, you look out for me
One world
Together we can be perfect harmony
One world
I'll look out for you, you look out for me
One world
And I'm a dedicate this song to everyone of God's children

One world oughta be more than enough
And if it's not, is God looking in pure disgust?
Wondering what the dilly with the silly I see?
When I made each of these in the image of me 
Everyday is a chance for a new stance 
Like every song is a chance for a new dance
And everyone of is was made to reflect the light
And glorify the most high so bright

We got one world 'til it's time to fly
So it's one love 'til we say good-bye
We got one world it's enough to share
'Til the King calls us home and we're caught up in the air we got

One world
I'll look out for you, you look out for me
One world
Together we can be perfect harmony
One world
I'll look out for you, you look out for me
One world
And I'm a dedicate this song to everyone of God's children

You can come as you are
Love is yours
Love is ours
I am a witness
Sweet forgiveness
You will shine like a star
Burning bright where you are in our one world, one world
Like a star, like a star, like a star

One world
Like a star, baby
One world
And I'm gonna dedicate this song, dedicate this song

Let's come together and love
Let's come together and love
Let's come together and love
Let's come together and love, come together 

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