Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Hidden Blessings

Psalm 52:8 - But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Dear God, It is so hard to trust You right now. No answers to anything, not with Tom, not with the court stuff, nothing. I am afraid. I am downcast. I am sad and brokenhearted. Tom should have talked with me, as in actually had a conversation with me before he acted. He should have acted with grace. But he acted with hate. And there was no justice nor mercy nor grace in what he did. And that makes me sad. I sent the letter I wrote that my mom wants to send to a paper if she feels the need and time for it to the presbytery to go on the record. In it, I was very honest and detailed about my experience with the bullying and the abuse I went through because of the leadership at Tom's church. He knew about some of it but failed to stop it. And instead, he became a bully, too, because he knew what they did was wrong, but instead of helping, he let it escalate and he did nothing while I all but got beaten up by them. Even his own actions were wrong and hurt more. Because he swore he was a friend. He lied to others about what happened. And I got hurt by them, too. The Tom that hurt me is not the same Tom at all. God, because of Tom, I am afraid to trust You. How can I when I am afraid that You're going to end up being just like him? Oh, how I long to believe that You are definitely better! Oh, how I want to trust You! Help me, God. And I will ask again in accordance with scripture, please bring about a conversation with Tom. Even if at this point we might not be able to have restoration, we can at least seek peace. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Sometimes By Step by Rich Mullins (YouTube)

Sometimes the night was beautiful
Sometimes the sky was so far away
Sometimes it seemed to stoop so close
You could touch it but your heart would break
Sometimes the morning came too soon
Sometimes the day could be so hot
There was so much work left to do
But so much You'd already done

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

Sometimes I think of Abraham
How one star he saw had been lit for me
He was a stranger in this land
And I am that, no less than he
And on this road to righteousness 
Sometimes the climb can be so steep
I may falter in my steps
But never beyond Your reach

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow Younall of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
(Sometimes the night was beautiful)
And I will follow You all of my days
(Sometimes the night...)
(Sometimes the night was beautiful)
And I will follow You all of my days
(Was beautiful)
(Sometimes the night was beautiful)
And I will follow You all of my days
(So beautiful)
And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
(Oh God, You are my God)
And I will follow a you all of my days
(Oh God, You are my God)
And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
(Sometimes the night was beautiful)
And I will follow You all of my days
(Sometimes the night...)
And I will follow You all of my days


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