Friday, January 17, 2014

I Am Still Here

Psalm 27:8 - You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, Lord, do I seek."

Jeremiah 29:13-14 - You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

Philippians 4:7 - And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Dear God, I am looking for You, but where did You go? I am having trouble seeing You in all this unresolved conflict with Tom. My spirit is crushed. What he did was just so overwhelmingly wrong and hurtful, filled with so much hate. God, please help me. I can't seem to find You. And no one seems to truly care. If they did, it seems they would intentionally reach out to me. But maybe that is the real problem at Tom's church? No one intentionally loves anyone or cares for anyone. Because if they did, the Tom I got to know would NEVER have done to me what he did. NEVER EVER. But God, I am not the only one that has experienced the failures of OMPC. And in their failures, they are intentionally hurting people. They lost the real focus. Which is supposed to be about You and what Jesus did for everyone. Jesus' ministry was all about intentional love and intentional mercy and intentional outreach to those in need. Not just rich people who could pay for the ministry to be furthered, but more so poor people who were hurting and sick. And I am sure there were people with autism back then, too. And Jesus would never have excluded them like OMPC does and did. According to what Your Word says though, the people at OMPC who hurt me and the Tom that hurt me are goats. But God, again, where are You? In Jesus' Name, Amen!

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