Monday, January 6, 2014

Dare to Dream My Dream

Isaiah 40:30-31 - Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Romans 8:6 - To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

Ephesians 3:20-21 - Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. 

Revelation 5:13 - And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!"

Dear God, I want to believe that You are capable of doing far greater things than I can ever imagine, but it struggle because the needed conversation with Tom has yet to have happened. Here we are on the brink of higher authority having to decide how to handle things. And he has yet to even show signs of repentance. Never mind the fact that even if I wanted to prove repentance, that neither he nor his church would ever know because they violated the scripture and their own denominational rules with regard to church discipline. I know that the good Tom, the honest Tom, the loving and caring and compassionate Tom that I experienced so much love and grace through and even saw glimpses of You through is in there in his heart somewhere. But at this point, if that Tom doesn't surface soon, if the hardened heart Tom stays, then it will absolutely break my own heart to have to tell the higher authority that he is no longer fit to be in his position. And about the abuse I experienced at his church. But I guess in some ways that maybe this is all a part of Your plan because You don't like bullies in Your church either God, and You deal harshly with bullies. The tax collectors in the temple, the Pharisees, even at times, Your disciples and other favorite people had to be dealt with harshly because You don't like bullies. Bullies don't evidence You nor do they help the church to grow, especially when they bully the least of these like they did me or the others like me before me. God, as much as I hope that You will turn Tom around in the next week or two, I am losing hope. In some ways, it means that he is showing his true nature and character which is not Christlike at all, and if that is the case, then he truly is in no position to be anyone's "shepherd" anymore. But God, why? And God, my dream is for a loving and accepting and safe church, even if it's just a small home based church, for people like me. But here's the ironic thing: Even if it turns out that Tom is no longer fit to remain in his position, I see that he is more fit to be a part of the church that I dream of. And maybe in some ways that is higher calling. Open his mind and heart and open my mind and heart. And God, if Tom is ready to forgive me, have him reinstate Facebook so I know because I want to be able to show him forgiveness and be able to retract my complaint. But until he evidences forgiveness toward me and repentance for his role in things, I have to let the complaint stay. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Abba Father by Rebecca St. James

I'm feeling like the eagle that rises
Flies above the earth and its troubles
Oh yes he knows that there are valleys below
But under his wings there's a stronger power

Oh Father, You are my strength
On You I wait upon

You make the road rise up to meet me
You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high, You are my Abba

Running in this race till the finish line
The only road for me is the narrow
Not gonna stop or even look to the side
When I fix my eyes on You Jesus

Oh Father, You are my strength
Now more than ever

You make the road rise up to meet me
You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high, You are my Abba

You make the road rise up to meet me
You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high, You are my Abba

When you run too far
(And the road is long)
Can't walk another mile
(He is waiting)
Hope in Him again
(He'll renew you)
Then you will rise
Gather up your wings and fly

You make the road rise up to meet me
You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high, You are my Abba

You make the road rise up to meet me
 You make the sun shine warm upon my face
The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft
God I lift You high, You are my Abba

Do you not know? 
Have you not heard?
He gives strength to the weary
To those who hope in Him
They will soar like eagles

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