Monday, January 14, 2013

Days 13 and 14

First, a confession. I REALLY miss my friend Tom right now. Like yesterday, I really wanted to send him a text to let him know when I would have my new church membership vows and to ask him if he could come. I would be honored if he can come as my friend to support me as I move into the new chapter in my life. But I resisted and set it in my calendar to make sure to text him when he is back. Or after church next Sunday. I am at odds with myself right now as I struggle to honor and respect him and his time with his new granddaughter and his older granddaughter an his family.

Now about my readings today (I am behind so I read yesterday and today). Yesterday was about seeing each day as an adventure. Basically expecting a dynamic life! Wow! How quickly some forget that life itself is dynamic when in the name of an activity being "dynamic," they choose instead to exclude someone because she has autism and might unknowingly an unintentionally hurt someone by her actions or words. What little they know when they never give her a chance to start with! What little they know.

Today was a bigger lesson though. We can look good on the outside but still be broken on the inside and we don't need to put on a facade with God. A safe church is a church that not only realizes how broken we all really are, autism or no autism, and embraces everyone regardless of who or what they are or do. A safe church is a church where people can really put away the facade and not have to worry about being punished for it. They don't have to worry about being punished for being honest, even if it hurts someone. They don't have to worry about punished for how God created them. They don't have to worry about being excluded because the church finds out that they have sin in their life or that they have autism. After all, if the church is a safe church, they know that everyone is broken and they embrace the reality of grace as they show it to EVERYONE equally across the board, autism or not.

Today's lesson helped me feel more "normal." And the scripture: Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can separate me from God. Not my autism and not what some church or some people in some church did to hurt me.

Knowing that, I am going to trust that God is still with me as I move into this new chapter in my life. I am scared, but God knows exactly what He's doing for me. And He isn't letting me go that easily.

So now I know what Tom has been actively demonstrating to me by being a friend to me through this time! Whoo hoo!!! Milestone!

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