Friday, December 9, 2016

Facebook Punishes Victims of Cyberbullying Yet Does Nothing to the Bully

So I got attacked yesterday based on my photo apparently as being a "poor person who doesn't pay for insurance under the ACA." I had simply defended against an idiot who said they wanted the ACA repealed because they didn't want to pay for poor people. They were called out for being a fundamentalist troll by someone prior. I simply said they weren't accurate and how the ACA allows me to not be the person who has to be stuck in an ER-charity care rut but that I do pay FULL PRICE for the policy I have. That's when they launched their attack on me based on my looks. Well, so I woke up this morning to find, guess what? I cannot post, like, comment, or do anything for 24 hours because apparently my calling the bully out for attacking a disabled person who benefits from the ACA protections was deemed inappropriate. Yes, my whole PROFILE is on lockdown because I defended myself against a bully on Facebook. And get this. The bully? Nothing happened to them. Facebook did NOTHING against the bully. The victim gets their entire profile on lockdown while the bully goes free. What kind of message does this send? In a day and age where cyberbullying is on the rise, what kind of message does locking the profile of the victim send? Well, I will be contacting the ACLU about this to make sure it does not happen again. In the meantime, there are some things I am supposed to be doing (social media blasts, sending my address back to some friends for Christmas cards, helping other disabled individuals and their families) that I can not do because the main source for doing these things has been disabled all because I called out a bully for being a bully. It's actually a gross situation too when you think about it. People get away with hate speech against the disabled on Facebook, reports about it go ignored, and the bullies still spread the hate speech. Yet when it's spam, scam, fake news, bullying a person of a different race, etc., they act and they act promptly. The double standard that is prevalent with this is appalling. Oh, and welcome to Trump's world. A place where the victims of cyberbullying are punished for defending themselves and for being disabled. A place where those who defend the rights of the poor, the disabled, the elderly, the veterans get attacked and called all kinds of things that are simply not true or right. A place where the ability to think freely and express one's opinion is no longer allowed without being the target of a bully and where you cannot stand up against the bully. A place where bitterness and hate and anger is now prevalent and love and peace and gentleness is no longer the norm. A place where the least of these among us are living in terror because they may lose the safety net they need to survive in this unjust country. A place where we have to pray for one last miracle to keep Trump and all those hateful people he is appointing out of DC. A place where the least of these among us cry in anguish wondering if they will still have insurance coverage the next day or if they will get the dreaded letter that says they are being denied or dropped. A place where the least of these among us wonder if they will still have a roof over their heads or food on their tables the next day. A place where the least of these is starting to pray that Jesus comes today because they don't want to suffer nor should they have to suffer. A place where even evangelical churches and their leaders showed their ugly side by standing up in support of the idiot elect knowing full well that the message he was sending was one of hate, not love. This world has become an ugly and terrifying place for the least of these. 

I leave these words from Jesus: "Whatsoever you did to the least of these, you did to me. Whatsoever you didn't to the least of these, you didn't to me." Jesus, it looks like You're going to have to remain naked, homeless, thirsty, hungry, sick, poor, and imprisoned. The Trump supporters have made their decision. They don't care about You or Your needs. They don't care about the least of these. And they are using Your name as their reason. "You shall know them by their fruit." That is some NASTY fruit. 

I have seen many vulnerable Christians who comprise the least of these among us essentially threaten to disassociate from other "Christians" since the election. They have decided that enough is enough and they no longer want to be associated with those who would support Trump and his party of hate. I disassociated myself from the party in 2010 when a group calling themselves the tea party infiltrated the party with hate for the sitting president over his skin color and his desire to help ALL of America as opposed to the 1%. I distanced myself from the party entirely after a sermon called SWOOP by a pastor in Birmingham in 2012 before that election. I listened to him as he shared how the 47% comment made by Romney was just wrong in principle. How it was judgmental. And then I listened to him explain how sometimes the woman gets an abortion because there's a law that says that if she needs help feeding her children that she cannot have another baby unless she can prove she was attacked or assaulted or she will lose the help she needs to feed her already living children. I listened to him as he said how it is wrong to judge that woman who got the abortion without knowing her story and how it is our duty as Christians to love that woman and to share God's grace with her. 

Let's dissect that message some more. How can you, as a "Christian" support someone who wants to throw people off of insurance that they need in order to stay out of the ER? If I lost both BCBS and Medicaid access today, I would lose access to three medicines that keep out of the ER, one medicine that is maintenance medicine so I don't get anymore sluggish than I already am, and I would certainly not be able to get IVIG for my immune deficiency. We would not be able to establish whether I have mast cell activation disorder or mastocytosis or what kind of mastocytosis I have. All of these conditions are manageable with the help of insurance coverage for prescriptions. And as my body adjusts to them, I have the potential to return to the workforce. But until then, I cannot work at all, hence the disability aspect of my life. I am among many that face this risk now. And some of them only have Medicaid because they literally cannot afford BCBS. 

Let's continue to dissect that message. How many disabled and elderly are on SNAP (aka food stamps)? Let's make that simple, if they are able-bodied, they are working under the re-implemented work requirements. So if they are not working and are on SNAP, they fall in one of less than a handful of categories which include disabled and elderly. At what point did Jesus say, here take this bread and this fish and feed everyone but don't feed them until they pee in this cup? At what point in His message about the least of these did He ever mention drug testing? Never? Then why do the "Christians" insist on doing this? Why do they keep cutting food benefits? 

Dissect it some more with regard to SS for the retired, SSI for the low income disabled who are still young, SSDI for the older disabled, Medicare for the elderly and some disabled and even veterans. We could on all day. 

Ask yourself dear "Christians" how you can support a party that wants to bring harm to the least of these that Jesus talked about and likened to Himself? Ask yourself how you can support an idiot elect who spread so many messages of hate and even encouraged his supporters to attack the opposition for spreading love? Ask yourself how you can have such a double standard? If Mr. Obama had done half of what Trump has been doing since the election, he would have been impeached or recalled before even being allowed to step into DC. Yet the same people have turned a blind eye to Trump essentially giving him the thumbs up. A man who spoke openly in the past about wanting to sleep with his daughter and grabbing women without their consent. A man who bashed the disabled, people of color, people of different ethnic backgrounds and different religions. A man who thinks being given $1 million by his daddy is a "small loan." A man who has bankrupted many times, stiffed his employees, makes them all sign non-disclosure agreements, attacks the very amendment that lets him show his stupidity, attacks the press for doing its job to report on his hot headedness and ignorance as well as his hypocrisy, a man who has been influenced by Russia and set to country on a sure path to WWIII.... If you support this, then not only do I call you out for not really being a true Christian, but I have no sympathy and no empathy for when you find everything that was predicted about Trump causes you to suffer. 

We have one last hope for a miracle from God in this matter and that is the antiquated Electoral College who is constitutionally charged to put forth faithless votes when a candidate proves to be a clear and present danger to this country. It is their constitutional duty to bar from office any person who proves to be grossly unqualified for such a position of power in this country. And it is actually illegal for any state to fine the electoral college members from fulfilling their constitutional duty. And of in the off chance any members of the electoral college happen to be reading this, I hereby charge you to uphold your duty to bar Trump from the office of president. He has done too many things that prove how unfit he is for the position and this country has literally flipped an ugly corner since the election.

This got long, and this went into some things that are not necessarily directly related to my main title, but this is the first time I have truly been able to focus my thoughts enough to write about it. I have been hurt by Trump supporters. And I have many friends who have also been hurt by Trump supporters. And the worst part of it all is that the victims get punished while the bullies do not. Facebook sent a horrible message with their actions today. A horrible message. Update, I reported the bully and of course, as usual, Facebook did nothing about it. They allowed the bully to remain unpunished. And I am still under punishment. For being a victim that had the nerve to stand up for herself. 

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Music Can Soothe the Soul and Make You Think

In the wake of the post-election Trump win, and the new America that is so much scarier now than ever, I join with those minorities who have been the target of so much hate and are living in terror right now. Whether a different race, a different religion, disabled, woman, low socioeconomic status, we are all terrified of the future. This election season has seen so much hate from Trump and his supporters and it is going to be a long time coming before we recover, if we ever recover. And if you have never lived in fear of losing everything you have, losing coverage for healthcare you need, losing your life or your home, losing your family, then I call you privileged for you truly are privileged to have such a level of security that so many others have not enjoyed. I have attached links and lyrics to some of the songs that have been resonating loudly with me these past few days. And after each set of lyrics before the link to the YouTube video of the song, I have written a dedication message. I hope that someone will find soothing in the music and lyrics just I have.

Fighter by Jamie-Grace

Seven bucks an hour/Bills stacked on the counter/Got a baby on the way, they'll have to feed/His pride is gettin' torn down/His confidence is worn out/This ain't the way he dreamed that it would be

But he won't ever ask why/'Cause he's made up his mind

He's a fighter, got that fire/When they thought he'd fade away/Throws a fist up, as he gets up/Feelin' stronger everyday/When he gets down on his knees, he finds/The courage to believe/He's a fighter, he's a fighter/Who inspires me

She's got no time for makeup/'Cause she's got three boys to wake up/Never thought she'd have to raise them on her own/And some days she feels like cryin'/But she's holdin' on, survivin'/On the love that makes their little house/A home

And she sees it in their eyes/All the reasons why, yeah

She's a fighter, got that fire/When you thought she'd fade away/Throws a fist up, as she gets up/Feelin' stronger everyday/When she gets down on her knees, she finds the courage to believe/She's a fighter, she's a fighter/Who inspire me, oohooo/She inspires me, yeah

She's been here before/And she's only eight years old/But she knows the name of every nurse she sees/And though she don't like the chemo/She waits it out, never losin' hope that

She's a fighter, got that fire/When they thought she'd fade away/Throws a fist up, keeps her head up/Feelin' stronger everyday/When she gets down on her knees, she finds the courage to believe/She's a fighter, she's a fighter/Who inspires, year/He's a fighter, he's a fighter/Who inspires me/He inspires me

You're my inspiration, my inspiration, yeah/You're my inspiration, my inspiration, yeah/You are my inspiration, my inspiration, yeah/You're my inspiration, my inspiration yeah

Written by: Cary Barlow, Chris Stevens, Jamie Grace, Toby Mckeehan (C)Major Bob Music, Inc

Dedication to all those who feel like they have to fight to hang on to life. In the wake of the elections, we have many people with complex medical needs such as myself who are now terrified that we will once again be thrust back to the ways before the Affordable Care Act when we had to worry about being denied coverage or being dropped for needing coverage. (Shaggy)

What's Going On - All-Star Tribute

P Diddy: What's Going On

Jermaine Dupri: Tell Me

P Diddy: People Dying/People Crying/Lord help us

Bono: Mother, mother/There's too many of you crying

Gwen Stefani: Oh, brother, brother, brother/There's far too many of you dying

Jermaine Dupri: That's Right

Aaron Lewis: You know we've got to find a way/To bring some lovin' here today

Nona Gaye: Oh my father, father/We don't need to escalate

Backstreet Boys: You see war is not the answer

Nona Gaye/Backstreet Boys: For only love can conquer hate

Christina Aguilera: You know we've got to find a way/To bring some lovin' here today

Britney Spears: Barricade, can't block our way

J-Lo: Don't punish me with brutality

Destiny's Child: Talk to me/So you can see

Destiny's Child/Britney Spears: First Chorus: Oh what's going on/What's going on/Yeah what's going on/Ahh what's going on

Ja Rule: What's going on in a world filled with pain/Where's the love for which we pray/What's going on/When our children can't play/Homeless can't eat/There's got to be a better way/What's going on/When we politically blind/Can't see the signs of endangered times/What's going on

Nelly Furtado: Ah tell me/What's going on in the world today/I'd rather be dead/Than turn my head away/We got a first world vision to complete, to lift our/Hands in the air and cry for a switch

Michael Stipe: Father, father

P Diddy: Father help us, come on

Michael Stipe: Everybody thinks we're wrong

Alicia Keys: Oh, but who are they to judge us/Together we can all be strong

P Diddy: United we stand, Divided we fall

N'Sync: Oh you know we've got to find a way

Mary J. Blige: To bring some understanding here today

N'Sync: Barricades can't block our way

Darren Hayes (Savage Garden): Don't punish me with brutality

N'Sync: Baby talk to me/So you can see (Second chorus): Yeah, what's going on/Hey, what's going on/Somebody tell me what's going on/I'll tell you what's goin' on-uh

Nelly: What's going on 'cross seas/Every minute a child dies by this disease/In record numbers indeed/Got mommas crying out please/My baby hold on/My child ain't done nothing wrong/Still I want to holler/Ask them why they don't bother/Oh no, oh no/Make me turn to my father/And ask him why they all got a trapped soul

Nas: I can feel what was bothering Marvin/Why his words forever remain/Dealing with these modern day problems/'Cause of ignorance surrounding me and my constituents/Too many infected/Too many lives diminishing/Nobody say Protestants, Jews, Blacks, and Whites, Latinos and Asians/Pray together/Less fight/We better unite/As genocide chemical war/And the rich and the poor/Know that God delivers a cure

Eve: It's a shame our reality is devastating/People praying for a cure/Dying while they're waiting/Ask the Lord for the comfort and strength to face it/All the kids with dreams/Won't get the chance to chase it/Makes me sad/Think about the lives they would've had/Think about the orphan babies got no moms and dads/How can we sit back and not try to make it right/We gotta come together/We gotta fight for life

Fred Durst: Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/We got human beings using humans for a bomb/But everyone wanna live/Don't nobody really want to die/You feeling me right/I can't be watching people die (die)/And watching people cry/Let me break it down for a minute/If there's enough room here for you and me/There's plenty of room for some humanity

Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)/Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on)

Dedication to all minorities of all races, religions, abilities, disabilities, socioeconomic statuses. I know we are all wondering what's going on?

Where Is the Love? - The Black Eyed Peas

What's wrong with the world, mama/People livin' like they ain't got no mamas/I think the whole world addicted to the drama/Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma

Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism/But we still got terrorists here livin'/In the USA, the big CIA/The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK

But if you only have love for your own race/Then you only leave space to discriminate/And to discriminate only generates hate/And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah

Madness is what you demonstrate/And that's exactly how anger works and operates/Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight/Take control of your mind and meditate/Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'/Children hurt and you hear them cryin'/Can you practice what you preach?/Or would you turn the other cheek?

Father, Father, Father help us/Send some guidance from above/'Cause people got me, got me questionin'/Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)/Where is the love (The love)/Where is the love, the love, the love

It just ain't the same, old ways have changed/New days are strange, is the world insane?/If love and peace are so strong/Why are there pieces of love that don't belong?

Nations droppin' bombs/Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones/With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young/So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone

So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong/In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in/Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends/Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother/A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover

The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug/If you never know truth then you never know love/Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)/Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)/Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'/Children hurt and you hear them cryin'/Can you practice what you preach?/Or would you turn the other cheek?

Father, Father, Father help us/Send some guidance from above/'Cause people got me, got me questionin'/Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)?/Where is the love (The love)?/Where is the love (The love)?/Where is the love (The love)?/Where is the love (The love)?/Where is the love (The love)?/Where is the love, the love, the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder/As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder/Most of us only care about money makin'/Selfishness got us followin' the wrong direction

Wrong information always shown by the media/Negative images is the main criteria/Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria/Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema

Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity/Whatever happened to the fairness and equality/Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity/Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity

That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under/That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down/There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under/Gotta keep my faith alive 'til love is found/Now ask yourself

Where is the love?/Where is the love?/Where is the love?/Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father, help us/Send some guidance from above/'Cause people got me, got me questionin'/Where is the love?

Sing with me y'all:/One world, one world (We only got)/One world, one world (That's all we got)/One world, one world/And something's wrong with it (Yeah)/Something's wrong with it (Yeah)/Something's wrong with the wo-wo-world, yeah/We only got (One world, one world)/That's all we got (One world, one world)

Dedicated to anyone of any race, religion, ability, disability, and socioeconomic status who has been the recipient of hate speech since the elections and even before then. I know we are all wondering where the love is.

Who I Am - Nick Jonas & the Administration

I want someone to love me/For who I am/I want someone to need me/Is that so bad?/I wanna break all the madness/But it's all I have/I want someone to love me/For who I am

Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore/Nothing is right, nothing is right when you're gone/I'm losing my breath, I'm losing my right to be wrong/I'm frightened to death, I'm frightened that I won't be strong

I want someone to love me/For who I am/I want someone to need me/Is that so bad?/I wanna break all the madness/But it's all I have/I want someone to love me/For who I am


I'm shaking it off, I'm shaking off all of the pain/Breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again

I want someone to love me/For who I am/I want someone to need me/Is that so bad?/I wanna break all the madness/But it's all I have/I want someone to love me/For who I am

I want someone to love me/For who I am/I want someone to need me/Is that so bad?/I wanna break all the madness/But it's all I have/I want someone to love me/For who I am

Yeah, who I am

Dedication to anyone who feels they need to change who they are or change their customs because of recent events. Stay who you are.

Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen Cover by Pentatonix

Scott: I've heard there was a secret chord/That David played and it please the Lord/But you don't really care for music, do ya?/Well it goes like this/The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift/The baffled king composing Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Avi: Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof/You saw her bathing on the roof/Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya/She tied you to the kitchen chair/She broke your throne and she cut your hair/And from your lips, she drew the Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Kristie: Well baby I've been here before/I've seen this room and I've walked this floor/I used to live alone before I knew ya/And I've seen your flag on the marble arch/And love is not a vict'ry march/It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Mitch: Well, maybe there's a God above/But all I've ever learned from love/Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya/And it's not a cry that you hear at night/It's not somebody who's seen the light/It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah

All: Hallelujah, Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah/Hallelujah, Hallelujah

In memory of Leonard Cohen (author) and Mike Tumlin, a great man who spent so much of his life advocating for autistics in Alabama and mentoring new advocates, there's truly no family in Alabama who has not been touched by Mike.

Monday, July 25, 2016


Dear God,

I don't understand why. 

She was only 10. Just had her 10th birthday last week.

She seemed fine yesterday.

She's my baby. 

So why her?

Why did she have to go like that?

The vet said it was an aneurysm. And my understanding of those is that they are sudden. No one can be prepared for them. Especially not the family who is left behind in the wake of the aftermath of them. 

But why did it have to be my baby girl?

Why did it have to be Katie?

Katie was so full of life just yesterday. So spunky and vibrant. 

And today, in the blink of an eye, lifeless. 

Oh, how my heart breaks! 

Please comfort us as we try to move past today. Please comfort us today. Please help Molly Jean understand why her mommy is hurting so much today. 

And most of all, please make sure Katie knows that I love her. Always have and always will. 

I loved her since the day I saw her just six short days after Peaches was laid to rest and she was three days old. 

I will never be able to find another one like her.

She lived with megacolon. A condition that ordinarily would be a death sentence in and of itself. 

But knowing this doesn't make it any easier. 

Tonight will be lonely without my baby. 

I miss her terribly already. 

Please help me through this time. 

Please help me find the right baby that needs me as much as I need them. 

Thank You for the precious time I did get to have with Katie. 

In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Friday, June 17, 2016

On Autism, Vaccines, and Why the Unvaccinated Are a Threat

Wait, I know you're about to ask, why on a blog about your journey through theology? Bear with me, you'll soon see.

1. I am a survivor. It turns out I was exposed to rubella when my mom was pregnant with me. She nearly lost me at five months. I was born tiny. I was born sick. And all because of that rubella exposure. Doctors gave me five years outside of a bubble. I have since surpassed by, but it means that the rubella exposure did not do anything to help me. To this day, we know that I have a progressive congenital rubella syndrome. And it has impacted me systemically.

2. Because of that rubella exposure in the womb, my development was disrupted. I was born without an entire component of my complement immune deficiency which makes me more susceptible to bacterial infections. And I most likely had what would have been called global developmental disorder, but it turns out I am autistic. So I am autistic and immune deficient.

3. Mom was exposed to Agent Orange during her service during the Vietnam Era. Getting the VA to do anything has been like pulling teeth from a crocodile. Not to be insensitive to anything that has occurred this week. We suspect to some extent that agent orange could also contribute to the autism.

4. As a result of what is now CVID (common variable immune deficiency), I am unable to get live vaccines (chicken pox, measles, mumps, rubella, shingles, and flu mist). This means I need all who are medically able to be vaccinated. I had chicken pox. In adulthood. And I have no antibodies. I had measles four months later. I am fortunate to have antibodies. I also have antibodies to rubella. But despite vaccinations, I have no antibodies for mumps. And despite having had it and vaccines, having no antibodies for chicken pox could mean a repeat and worse case for me. Chicken pox followed by measles followed a mutated strain of flu four months after that led to a partial sensorineural hearing loss - reverse loss. Reverse loss only has two causes: damage from prolonged listening to loud sounds or damage from high fevers associated with infections.

5. Why are the unvaccinated a threat? Babies too young to be vaccinated. People like myself who have immune deficiencies. People like myself who have other medical conditions that can make it harder to safely vaccinate. Cancer and leukemia patients. Patients with autoimmune diseases. I will refer you to Immune Deficiency Foundation with regard to herd immunity.

6. No, vaccines did not cause autism. To even say that is to discredit the autistics who lived before vaccines ever existed and to discredit the unvaccinated autistics. The Denmark study confirmed that autism is not in any higher rates in the vaccinated than in the unvaccinated and that rates were pretty even among both. And it is not the only one. Also, for a vaccine to cause autism, it would have to go from the muscle into which it is injected, jump over into the bloodstream, then change the very wiring in the brain where autism is AND the DNA. I know vaccines can be strong in preventing diseases, but I don't think they are strong enough to jump through all those hoops?

7. Rise in rates of autism? Not really. When I was a child, not a lot was known about autism. We did not have internet in homes like we do now. We did not have 24/7 access to media and information like we do now. And it was very rare that girls were diagnosed. As for before I was born, most were sent to institutions or homes and were hardly ever seen again afterward. Autism also went by many names other than autism - touched in the head was a term I had to research after reading it in a book whose main character encounters an autistic who is nonverbal and at risk. In other words, they thought autistics were possessed by the devil at one point. The spectrum was broadened to include all levels of autism, including Asperger's. We now have more access to more information. And as a result, the rates seem like they have gone up even though the reality might be just the opposite and rates might have actually stayed the same. Plus, because of autistic adults like myself who have been pushed off the societal cliff with regard to services we need, there is a huge push to diagnose as early as possible.

Now how does any of this relate to theology?

God created all people, autistic or not, in His image. And if you consider how God relates to His children, there are several things about Him that technically could be on the autism spectrum itself. Brutal honesty is one. Creativity. Loyalty. Loving. Yet also angry and torn. Emotional. You cannot separate God from nature. And God's nature is immutable. If God's nature is immutable, then He cannot create anything that is broken or damaged. Sin can disrupt things, but otherwise, everything is just as God intended it to be.

Some people say they refuse to vaccinate on the grounds of religion. When asked, they cite "fetal tissue cells from an aborted baby." Do we know for sure that the tissue cells were actually from an aborted baby or maybe it was just a baby that died from natural causes? Even if it was an aborted baby, there might have been medical reasons for that woman to abort. And even further still, God gave some men and women out there the brains to be able to redeem a seemingly tragic situation and turn it into something that has since saved millions of babies, children, teenagers, and adults from diseases that used to kill or disable someone. Also, now that we grow vaccines in eggs, would they really still be using that cell line?

It doesn't take a genius to follow the history of diseases before vaccines to see the good they do. And it was never God's intent for His children to avoid medical prevention just because they want to find the grey areas in the scripture. Not one person who has used religion as an excuse has been able to actually provide a specific scripture where vaccines would be prohibited. They instead refer to Psalm 139 or the Ten Commandments. Of course, the trouble with arguing with an immune deficient autistic is that I can usually throw the Ten Commandments back at them with the admonition and reminder that it is wrong to murder and how bringing back diseases that are now preventable would be akin to murder if I am exposed.

Also, if you want to follow an interesting discussion, look up Marco Arturo and his video. The kid is literally a genius. Too bad some "adults" thought it would be appropriate to bully him like they did. All they did was hurt their cause when they did that.

Dear God, I am going to end my post here. But if even just one person reads it and learns something from it, that is one more person who needed to read it and learn something from it. Thank you God for another day of life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

How to Effectively Deal with a Bully

So this is about a repeat offender who has chosen a two month old comment about my personal experience with autism and how I was impacted by being exposed to rubella in the womb. I have reported him, but clearly Disqus has chosen to allow him to continue. Well, after much prayer, I have decided to once again out him for his bullying. And this is probably more effective than responding to him.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Repentant Heart or Stupid Fool

So, for those who may not know, some rapper I have never listened to and never will received backlash this week for a video he posted on social media of a young man while that young man was working. The rapper? 50 Cent. What kind of nickname is that?  I don't know but I do think his nickname sure matches what his personality is worth. 

What was the issue? The issue is that the young man he chose to defame this time is autistic and hard of hearing. But the rapper claimed he was high on drugs and whatever else. The rapper got up in the young man's personal space video recording him and tearing him down.

Now for those of you do not know, I am also autistic. I am autistic and a Christian. BUT, here's where things get me. While 50 Cent made an "apology" and then a donation to Autism Speaks, his apology could not have been sincere and he could not have been repentant. And I cannot forgive him. 


This is not 50 Cent's first act of hostility against the autistics. Back in 2012, he made a comment to a fan on his Twitter feed saying that the fan looked autistic and that he didn't want special Ed kids following him. And back in 2012, he got backlash, apologized, and made a donation to Autism Speaks. 

Yet here we are again. 

I have seen some pretty brutal things in the days following this new situation. Everything from well, how could he know the guy was autistic or why wasn't the guy wearing a sign? 

What? Are we going back to those days? Really? 

Of course, I told one of those people saying the guy should have been wearing a sign that maybe he needed to wear a sign so autistics would know he was an ignorant person. 

I did take some time to process things before I wrote a statement myself to 50 Cent and in that I expressed honestly that I cannot forgive him as this was not his first offense. I also expressed concern for what his kid might be learning. 

Look, I know as a Christian I should be forgiving, but when someone evidences the level of hate toward someone like me repeatedly, it gets harder because there is that thing called a repentant heart. Did 50 Cent learn from the first time? Clearly not. And I wonder how many other times he has done this before that, before social media allowed information to be shared faster than ever before? 

50 Cent is not a good human being. Even if the young man had not been disabled and just doing his job, a good human being does not make accusatory videos like that then post them on social media. A good human being simply does not do that kind of thing.

But here's the thing that makes me angry: that young man might look autistic (neither do I), but odds are that if we don't look autistic (what does autism look like though, really) that a lot of time was spent in therapy and interventions so that we don't look autistic. However, the thing that could hurt the most is that that video could have cost that young man his job, a job which was not easy for him to get in the first place and is not easy to keep. I know all too well the difficulty in getting and keeping a job for as much as I try, I just don't have success getting past the interview stage. 

For the most part, many autistics are unemployed or underemployed because while the autism itself is not necessarily disabling, societal attitudes are. Society thinks that if we do not fit their mold, in their little boxes, that we are broken, less than deserving, less than human.... I know this as I experienced some of those attitudes from a church of all places. And the thing is, I have lived with those attitudes all my life, even before my official diagnosis was made. 

Would it have been different for me had we known before? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But does it have to remain that way? Absolutely not. 

My life took a weird turn over the course of the last few months or so. I became an advocate. And here's the thing: my advocacy might have more potential than that of those who do not actually have the disabilities they advocate for. Because while they may be advocating, they don't actually live it. 

I have seen a lot of people say that 50 Cent should be required to work with autistics. As an autistic, I say no, he should not be allowed around them unsupervised. He has not evidenced the ability to even be a respectful human being. 

Reflection: I am not sure who is scarier at this point - 50 Cent or Trump. 

Dear God, I pray that as I wrestle through some of these hard-hitting issues that You strengthen me and give me wisdom. May others learn through what I have experienced and through what I write about, which is what I know. And bless the mothers out there today. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Friday, May 6, 2016

The Tow Truck and His "Christianity"

The story making the rounds this week, and there is another one I will address in another post because the sensitive nature of it is one I need some more time to process a post about, is about the disabled woman who was abandoned on the side of the road after an accident by a tow truck that was dispatched to her. 

After much information gathering to get the full report that has been published (many sources only chose blurbs), what we know of the woman is that she was driving out of her home state and was involved in a collision when a semi cut into her lane. Her car became non-functional and she called a mechanic who is aware of her multiple disabilities. He dispatched a tow truck to her location informing them of the disabilities. But the tow truck arrived and then denied her service because she is a Sanders supporter. 

What he also know is that the driver claimed God told him to leave her there and that he claims he is not a bigot. Let me remind you what the definition of a bigot is: anyone who is intolerant of another's expression of their opinion. Bigotry can come in many forms. The tow truck driver acted, not out of Christianity, but out of bigotry when he denied that woman service. 

You shall know them by their fruit. You shall indeed! What that man did was not Christlike. It was hatred. And further,ore, it left a disabled woman stranded until another truck could be dispatched to her.

He claimed that other people had not paid him his fee. But in this case, he did not even ask for the fee because as soon as he saw her bumper sticker, he developed some preconceived notion about that woman. 

I have written our own insurance company about it and suggested a blacklist because while my family will not put bumper stickers on the car, not even the ones that explain about autism, for this very reason, I would hate to imagine what he would do if he encountered us. 

The man also is a confessed Trump supporter. 

Here is what I know about Trump. Trump is NOT a Christian. Trump is hateful. Trump spreads fear and hate everywhere he goes. We have children in classes around the country fearing for their lives. We have disabled people fearing for their lives. And all because of Trump. 

Here is why I, too, am also fearful because of Trump: I posted my opinion of the story after I had done elaborate research to make sure I was getting the full story as a few of the media outlets mentioned for full story see this source. I then developed my opinion based upon the information I did gather. While I have had a few that have agreed with me, many of attacked me, some even going so far as to flat out attack and insult me and call me stupid. 

As an autistic woman, any comment calling me stupid is deemed as hate speech. Any comment trying to discredit me just because I am autistic is deemed as hate speech. And none of it is tolerated. Autistics are not stupid. But these are Trump supporters for you apparently. If his supporters are like that, I do not want Trumo anywhere near the White House! 

Many have even tried to say if the woman was too disabled to lift the hood of her car that she should not have been driving. There is nothing in the driver prerequisites saying one needs to be able to lift the hood of the car! 

I will say this though, my job, unpaid as it may be, is advocacy. I advocate for me. I advocate for others like me. And in my advocacy, I educate. Unless someone chooses to remain willfully ignorant. Then I block. Because I cannot allow that kind of toxic into my life. 

As TobyMac says, "Speak Life." And I believe those words actually originated with Jesus. 

What can you do if you are reading this? 

First, do not give that tow truck driver your business. Second, if you see a stranded motorist for whatever the reason, and if it is safe for you to do so, help them. 

To that tow truck driver: Shame on you. You were mean and hateful and being a bigot. You were not Christlike. 

Dear God, some of my posts through the remainder of the year will be highlighting current events that hit me hardest. May people who read about it be open-minded enough to learn something from them. They will be hardcore like me because You have matured me in a way that is uniquely the way You have chosen to shape me at this point. Thank You for the experiences You have chosen to allow me to have so I can speak life to others even when life has not been spoken to me. Thank You, in Jesus' Name, Amen!

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

A Prayer for This Election Day

God, Today is the primaries in a lot of state, and God, as I go in myself to choose the proper candidate on the democrat side (I am now officially denoting myself as a democrat due to the hatred and oppression I have observed from republicans), help me to choose those candidates who will fight for every human being alive today. Be it access to healthcare which so many republican governors have blocked or disability issues, today is vital not only for me but for those who may be unable to vote for themselves. One thing my disabilities did for me was open my eyes that the reason I vote goes beyond not agreeing with abortion. God, I am so sorry I never thought of that before these last few years. I ask for forgiveness for my own part in allowing some of these hateful people into positions of power. I pray through Matthew 25:31-46 and Romans 13:1-7 entering this election today. And may I always pray through it when Election Day comes around. Dear republican reading this, I urge you to open your Bible and to read those two passages. Then I urge you to ask yourself the following: Do I speak ill of the president we currently have? Do I talk down on people who are on SNAP (food stamps), TANF (welfare), SSI/SSDI (disability), SS (elderly), Medicaid (disabled and children), Medicare (elderly and veterans), and minimum wage? Look your words can either support your actions or they can contradict your actions. But if you are a Christian, your words should line up with your actions. And how you act on social media is just as important as how you act off of social media. Anymore, social media is likely the first thing people will judge or misjudge you by. And if what you say and do on social media is out of line, it could negatively affect your witness and testimony. Why should I believe that you are a Christian when you do the things I encourage you to ask yourself? Christians (no, Trump is not a Christian) are known by their fruit. Is the fruit good or bad? If the fruit attracts someone to God, then it is good. If the fruit repeals someone from God, then it is bad. And bad fruit must be separated from good fruit or else all the fruit goes bad. God, today, I pray hard. Really hard. Today is one of the tests of life kind of days. Today can influence how Election Day in November will look. Oh, and I pray that the weather will not be bad enough to be a deterrent. We cannot complain if we don't vote. And even then, we have to put it all in Your sovereign hands. You know my needs. May those needs be fulfilled today. Thank You God. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

God Is Always There

Going through the ups and downs, realizing that the world is out of my control right now, my world is out of my control, not understanding why my life is upside down, not being able to grasp the gravity of things, all I can do is let go. Let God have it. And that's it. I cannot look back at this point. I cannot look down. I have to look ahead and look up. There's nothing else I can do. Hold on baby. Hold on. Hold on tight. Your life does depend on it. Here God. Take it. The waiting is hard. The waiting is tough. The waiting is scary. The unknowns. Will it be the same. Will it be higher. If it is higher, what will happen next? Will it hurt? Yeah, it will definitely hurt, but how bad will it hurt? Where is the money going to come from to help pay for what is needed? We need blessing. We need peace. Most of all peace. Miracles. I am a miracle in itself. I never should have lived this long according to doctors. Poo on them. They were wrong. You had bigger plans apparently. Laugh. Live. Love. It's all I can do. But you look fine. But you don't look sick. But you don't look disabled. But you don't look handicapped. But you're so young. Shut up world. You don't know what's happening inside of my body. You cannot see that right inside my very body, it is a constant battle just to live. And the day I look like how I feel inside is the day I have lost. I refuse to lose until God says it is time. I refuse to quit. I may have to scale back. I may have to limit myself more. But I will not quit. God wants me here. Why? Why would God allow me to suffer? I don't know. Is He allowing me to suffer? Or has He chosen to use me to bless someone else through my struggle? God is powerful. God is in control. I'm not God. I cannot read His thoughts. He can read mine though. And each day He gives me courage to stand against the people who use His name but bash the poor and the disabled and the elderly and the veterans and the president of my country. I am unafraid to be offensive if that is what it takes. I am unafraid to call it like I see it. Case in point, Trump is the most hateful thing I have ever heard. And he has people fooled. But he looks like an Oompa Loompa from the original Willy Wonka film and that thing on his head looks worse than the stuff my cat pukes up. Yeah, gross, I know, but it is my brutal honesty. Autism is funny like that sometimes. Ted Cruz looks constipated. Someone get him a bottle of Miralax please. Why is a Canadian running anyway? Ugh. Healthcare. We need to get rid of insurance companies. They are greedy little turds. They make our costs higher. Come on Sanders. I like Sanders. He is an honest little spitfire like me. He is unafraid to call it as he sees it. I admire that. I wish more people would do that. God is in control. Ha ha. Look, God is always there. Even in my rambling thoughts, He comes through and says wrap it up kid. Hope you get some chuckles from reading this, but most of all, hope you take away this: God is in control and God is always there. You are never alone. Thanks for reading.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Creative Writing - That One

This is inspired by something I saw about the gun control measures the president decided to take action on. It was apparently said, "Why bother enacting anything if we cannot save them all?" So now I am wondering what would have happened if Jesus and His Father had a similar conversation? 

God: Son, I need you to go down to earth on a mission. You will be born as a baby. You will live to age 33. You will go around preaching my words and then you will be crucified on a cross. 

Jesus: But dad, why?

God: Because I want to save some of the people down there. I have compassion for them and I want to love them and have fellowship with them. But I cannot stand what they have become of late. They ridicule the poor, they leave the sick to die, and they starve the hungry. They are not doing what I have commanded them to do. 

Jesus: Some? Not all? But dad, if I cannot save them all, why bother trying?

God: Because Son, even if you manage to only get through to one and I can only save one, that is still one who will be saved. If you don't go, that one will be lost forever.

Jesus: Okay, dad, you're right. Is not that one worth more than a thousand if that one might go on to help do even greater things? Maybe that one that I help will turn around and help a thousand more.

God: Now you're thinking! Oh, and Son?

Jesus: Yes, dad?

God: I love You. 

All for that one. Jesus came for that one. God sent His Son for that one. 

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Proverbs 3

Dear God, help me to never forget Your teaching. Help me to place all my trust in You. I cannot understand what I am going through right or why I am going through it, but You know exactly why I am going through this challenge. Keep me from evil. Help me to discern what is good and what is evil. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for wisdom. Help me to not withhold good from those who deserve good. Help me to not be afraid of terror or the wicked. Give me discernment of who to listen to and of who not to listen to. Thank You for everything. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Proverbs 2

Dear God, may I never forget to seek wisdom from You. Going into an election year, wisdom from You is more needed now than ever. Help me to elect only those who are standing upright with You and willing to work on protections for the least of these in our nation. Give me wisdom when encountering those who only vote by party and refuse to hear anything else. Give me strength in my advocacy. Give me power to press on. My views may not be popular, but neither were the views of Jesus. Thank You for Your love and guidance. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Friday, January 1, 2016

Proverbs 1

Dear God, help me to always listen to Your voice above all others. What a shame to end up in a position of calamity because one refused to hear YOUR voice. I pray for wisdom and knowledge in my journey and growth this year and all the rest of my life. In Jesus' Name, Amen!