Psalm 37:23-24 - The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.
Dear God, my path is different from another person's path and still another person's path is different from my own path. While our paths may cross and even intermingle for a while, our paths will always be different. It frustrates me when people who don't know the oath I have been on to get to where I am try to force me onto a different path because when they hear I have autism, they somehow equate that to being less than or inferior to themselves. Or they somehow think that the path You have chosen for me is wrong because it doesn't fit their ideas about things. I am still so wounded by how that care team turned out with the two individuals in it basically destroying everything and worst of all, destroying my spirit. I am still wounded by Tom's end and him standing up for what he knew was right and against what he knew was wrong. I am still holding hope in You that You will eventually allow reconciliation between Tom and myself, but also know that even when You do, he and I will be so different by that point that things will have to be different. I mean it may be possible that he and I could refriend on Facebook, but will it be friends in real life again? Probably not really. I would rather spend my life with no real friends off Facebook whatsoever than to be hurt the way he hurt me again. But maybe that is the path I have been given, one destined to have friends and acquaintances but never to have any that are really close or personal. I mean real friends forgive and don't abandon their friends when in need. Real friends stick it out and love on their friends even when a conflict arises. Real friends stick up for what is right and stand up against what is wrong. My path is my path, and my path includes autism, immune deficiency, and whatever is going on in my gut. My path is not perfect, but my path is my path because You have chosen it for me. Anyone who tries to push me off my path is not worth my time or energy. Anyone who tries to come along side of me and offers me a supportive hand along the way is worth my time and energy and even my forgiveness. Tom is one of them. But maybe that will be a miracle if it happens this year. I love You God. And I hope I am doing my best to follow the path You have chosen for me. Help me to not stumble off it and to resist the slips and falls along the way. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!