Love Broke Thru TobyMac

Love Broke Thru by TobyMac

I just have to put this here today. So many protests and riots have erupted over the past several years. Cops killing innocent people. Trump being elected and his dangerous policies that so many smart people warned people about but they still ignored us. TobyMac's "Love Broke Thru" has always been one with a powerful message to it, but the relevance and the timing of his video release has made the song all the more powerful. I challenge anyone to not end up in tears watching and listening to the song. I challenge anyone who sees the video to do what the man in the video did in the end. Let us all put down our differences long enough to actually listen without judging and to come together to make sure that EVERY single last citizen is taken care and not punished by harmful politics.

Here are the lyrics which you can follow along with on the video.

I was feelin' that, feelin' that breeze
Singin' like a song thru the tall oak trees
It was just another summer night
Had to be the last  thing on my mind
Yeah, I was all but lost in the moment
I was young and runnin' wide open
It was just another summer night
Had to be the last thing on my mind

When love broke thru
You found me in the darkness
Wanderin' thru the desert
I was a hopeless fool
Now I'm hopelessly devoted
My chains are broken
And it all began with You
When love broke thru
And it all began with You
When love broke thru

I did all that I could to undo me
But You love me enough to pursue me
Yeah, You drew me out of the shadows
Made me believe that I mattered, to You (You)
You were there, You heard my prayer in that broke down dusty room
It was the first time I said, "I'm Yours"
The first time I called You Lord

When love broke thru
You found me in the darkness
Wanderin' thru the desert
I was a hopeless fool
Now I'm hopelessly devoted
My chains are broken
And it all began with You
When love broke thru
And it all began with You
When love broke thru

Yeah, it was late in the summer when the northeast breeze
Sang like a song thru the oak trees
Pennsylvania
She kind of caught my soul
Which had me a little more open than closed
Walls I built
Opinions I learned
Covered in the ashes of bridges I burned
Blind to the arrow that headed to my heart
But You hit the mark

When love broke thru
You found me in the darkness
Wanderin' thru the desert
I was a hopeless fool
Now I'm hopelessly devoted
My chains are broken
And it all began with You
When love broke thru

When love broke thru
You found me in the darkness
Wanderin' thru the desert
I was a hopeless fool
Now I'm hopelessly devoted
My chains are broken
And it all began with You
When love broke thru
And it all began with You
When love broke thru

I did all that I could to undo me
But You loved me enough to pursue me

Written by: Bart Millard, Bryan Christopher Fowler, Chris Stevens, Toby Mckeehan

Billboard Magazine's review

I Make You Complete

Psalm 139:13-16 - For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.

Mark 8:36 - For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?

Mark 8:36 (ICB) - It is worth nothing for a person to have the whole world, if he loses his soul.

II Corinthians 3:17-18 - Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Dear God, You know every part of me, every single cell and hair and pigment of me. As TobyMac says in his song, I don't want to gain the world and lose my soul. Fill me with Your presence. Fill that hole and that space. Lead me down the path You have for me. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

One of My Days

I Thessalonians 5:18 - ...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I Peter 5:6-7 - Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Dear God, oh boy, I certainly have had plenty of those "one of THOSE days!" And apparently I am about to go into one of those days today. My fidget spiral wrist key ring just gave the final snap. Now I have to get a new one that I might not the color of as well, but here is where I can give You the worry and let You flip the script and turn it all around: they do not cost too much to replace and are abundantly available if you know where to find them. But God, I am still struggling with one of the worst of those days. The one that shattered my heart and crushed my spirit. Lead me through the letter. Lead me through the chart that evidences that I did learn something from all that peace-making stuff they themselves failed to practice and adhere to. Oh, and God, seriously, help us find the stinking mouse, rat, squirrel, or kangaroo that is scratching through my walls again even just this morning! He/she/it has been driving me crazy for the past three or four months now! Somehow it got into the walls after finding itself an entry either through the attic or somewhere behind the kitchen dishwasher that we never use and under the cabinetry. Things are getting very frustrating with that too. Either the poison that was suggested for us to use isn't doing any good (they said it would kill them without making them stink) or they are not attracted to it in the first place because it is the wrong kind of creature. Oh, and God, showing my sense of humor again, but all appointments before 10 in the morning should be banned by law. My brain is not functioning until then anyway. Also, God, I have a thank You from yesterday. The shoulder was not dislocated, though now I am suspicious of the elbow, but the doctor said it was somehow just pulled muscles and has prescribed physical therapy (cough cough torture). I was sad that I had to reschedule the occupational therapy though because of not knowing exactly how the shot was going to impact me. But it was a good thing since the shot made my heartbeat irregularly which led to a nasty high blood pressure as opposed to my normally low blood pressure. I have been quite asthmatic this week as well. And some people do not understand how much impact asthma can have on someone unless they have ever experienced it themselves. God, one last thing, our "representatives" are not working for us anymore. Based on Matthew 25:31-46, I do feel that I cannot vote for any republican this year that runs against the Affordable Care Act, as even the nuns have said, that with the exception of the fact that they apparently do not believe on birth control, would be unbiblical to repeal and the nuns have also said the Paul Ryan budget is unChristianlike (it was full of hate for the least of these and even went as far as to strip away veteran's healthcare). Please open the minds and the eyes of the people going into elections this year so that Christians, in particular, will make the wisest decisions based on Matthew 25:31-46. Look, I do not wish to live in a society full of goats! And I am actually starting to feel flattered by the derogatory use of the word "sheeple!. I would rather be a sheep than be a goat! It means I am doing what is right for the least of these, which is good since I am one of the least of these! Even the new pope is exemplifying what Jesus did and has even praised Obama for his efforts as well. But see, God, here is where the politicians have also failed other than wasting tax dollars trying to repeal the ACA more than fifty times (someone take the dead horse away from them already), they want to cut social safety nets while at the same time deny an increase in minimum wage (which was established to be a living wage). Some people have accused those making minimum wage of being uneducated (many of them have college degrees and lots of them work in government sector jobs and yes, shocker, fast food (McDonald's has toyed with requiring college degrees to work here)) or worse, called them lazy and unskilled. Excuse me God, but I will say based on firsthand experience I out up with more and developed more skills as a result of fast food than any of the positions I held longer. But fast food is not an appropriate job for me anymore because of my disabilities. That doesn't make me lazy. It just means I have learned what kind of jobs are not appropriate and I haven't found an appropriate one yet. But doors are opening.... Anyway, that is lot. Thank You God for turning one if those days into whatever You have in mind and even using them for good, even if I have not seen it yet. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Hold Me by Jamie-Grace with TobyMac (YouTube)

I love, I love, I love, I love the way You hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way You hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way You hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way You, the way. You

I've had a long day, I just wanna relax

Don't have time for my friends, no time for chit chat

Problems at my job, wonderin' what to do

I know I should be working but I'm thinking of You

Just when I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down

That's when Your smile comes around

Oh, I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way You hold me, in Your arms I'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love You more than he words in my brain can express

I can't imagine even loving You less

Lord, I love the way. You hold me

Whoa, oh I love the way You hold me

Whoa, oh

Well ya, took my day and You flipped it around

Calmed the tidal wave and put my feet on the ground

Forever in my heart, always on my mind

It's crazy how I think about You all of the time

And just when I think I'm 'bout to figure You out

You make me wanna scream and shout

I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way You hold me, in Your arms I'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love You more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine even loving You less

Lord, I love the way You hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way You hold me

Whoa, oh

I'm so grateful and thankful for all You've done

Wish I could tell You in a short story or poem

But all I have is my voice and this guitar

And You have my heart

Oh, I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way You hold me, in Your arms I'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way You hold me, in Your arms I'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love You more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine even loving you less

Lord, I love the way You hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way You hold me

Whoa, oh

Oh, I love

I love, I love, I love, I love the way You hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way You hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way You hold me, hold me, hold me

Let It Go by Idina Menzel (YouTube)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight

Not a footprint to be seen

A kingdom of isolation,

And it looks I'm the queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside

Couldn't keep it, heaven knows I tried

Don't let them in, don't let them set

Be the good girl you always have to be

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know

Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door

I don't care 

What they're going to say

Let the storm rage on,

The cold never bothered me anyway

It's funny how some distanev

Makes everything seem small

And the fears that once controlled me

Can't get to me at all

It's time to see what I can do

To test the limits and break through

No right, no wrong, no rules for me

I'm free

Let it go, let it go

I am one with the wind and sky

Let it go, let it go

You'll never see me cry

Here I stand

And here I'll stay

Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground

My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around

And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast

I'm never going back,

The past is in the past

Let it go, let it go

And I'll rise like the break of dawn

Let it go, let it go

That perfect girl is gone

Here I stand

In the light of day

Let the storm rage on,

The cold never bothered me anyway

I Speak to You in Love

Romans 8:1-2 - There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 

I Corinthians 6:19-20 - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Colossians 1:27 - To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 

Dear God, When Tom basically belittled me and lied about me, he did not use Your words. When Christians ridicule and crush people with their words, they are not using Your words. Your words are loving, kind, gentle, and sometimes Your words rebuke, but they are still loving and kind and full of forgiveness and grace. Help me this week as I gather my words through You to present to the people who hurt me, including Tom. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Speak Life by TobyMac (YouTube)

Some days, life feels perfect

Other days it just ain't workin'

The good, the bad, the right, the wrong

And everything in between

Yo it's crazy, amazing

We can turn a heart through the words we say

Mountains crumble with every syllable 

Hope can live or die

So speak life, speak life

To the deadest darkest night

Speak life, speak life

When the sun won't shine and you don't know why

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted

Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope

You speak love, you speak...

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Some days the tongue gets twisted

Other days my thoughts just fall apart

I do, I don't I will, I won't

It's like I'm drowning in the deep

Well it's crazy to imagine

Words from our lips as the arms of compassion

Mountains crumble with every syllable

Hope can live or die

So speak life, speak life

To the deadest darkest night

Speak life, speak life

When the sun won't shine and you don't know why

Look into the eyes of the broke hearted 

Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope

You speak love, you speak...

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Lift your head a little higher

Use your words to inspire

Joy will fall like rain

When you speak life with the things you say

Lift your head a little higher

Spread the love like fire

Hope will fall like rain

When you speak life with the words you say

So speak life, speak life

To the deadest darkest night

Speak life, speak life

When the sun won't shine and you don't know why

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted 

Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope

You speak love, you speak...

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Some days life feels perfect

I Am Always

Psalm 37:3-4 - Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Hebrews 7:25 - Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.

Dear God, I do not understand everything that has happened except that what Tom did and the way he did it was wrong and that he is acting AGAINST the scripture when it comes to conflict resolution. He hardened his and lied about what happened. Please open his heart and move him into biblical conflict resolution with me. And please keep holding me. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Hold Me by Jamie-Grace with TobyMac (YouTube)

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you, the way you

I've had a long day, I just wanna relax

Don't have time for my friends, no time for chit chat

Problems at my job, wonderin' what to do

I know I should be working but I'm thinking of you and

Just when I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down

That's when your smile comes around

Oh, I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way you hold me, in your arms I'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love you more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine loving you less

Lord, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh

Well ya, took my day and you flipped it around

Calmed the tidal wave and put my feet on the ground

Forever in my heart, always on. My mind

It's crazy how I think about you all of the time

And just when I think I'm 'bout to figure you out

You make me wanna sing and shout

I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine even loving you less

Lord, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh

I'm so grateful and thankful for all you've done

Wish I could tell you in a short story or poem

But all I have is my voice and this guitar

And you have my heart

Oh, I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love you more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine even loving you less

Lord, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh

Oh, I love

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me, hold me, hold me

Still and Quiet

Isaiah 30:15 - For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."

Zechariah 2:13 - Be silent, all flesh, before the Lord, for he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.

Zechariah 2:13 - Be still before the Lord.

II Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Dear God, Being still and quiet is hard! Especially when your body is full of energy that wants to get out of you. The harder you try to stifle the energy, the more it wants to just be released. God, I have a worry to release if I am to be still and quiet. You see, there is a matter of the word that Tom used in his letter for my disability court - the same letter that also acknowledges in a sense that he knew that what they were doing was wrong. He used the word "mainstream." The thing is, they did not try to mainstream me after the diagnosis came back. They EXCLUDED me without giving me a chance to try. I love the video I found the other day about in which it indicated that the little girl with autism had learned a lot from being around her neurotypical peers. It reiterated that since we autistics learn best when we are actually with our neurotypical peers, then why would anyone exclude or segregate us? Good point! Especially if it's a church! Shame on any church that dares segregate someone just because the person has a disability! That is not what Jesus would want. That person is just as gifted in his or her own way, just as able to serve God in his or her own way, just as able to worship God in his or her own way, and just as able to be a part of any other activity that anyone else is involved with (although maybe sometimes with assistance in each area)! Woe to the church that dares exclude a single person just because the person has autism and challenges the authority that he or she recognizes is doing something that is blatantly wrong! It is not the person with the autism that is the problem. It is the authority that did the wrong that is the problem. In this case, it is Bob that was the problem. It is Mark that was the problem. It is Ken that was the problem. It is Gordon that was the problem. It is Tom that became the problem because he knew that there were things wrong with the document and that if they would correct it then I would sign it, yet he failed. Tom knew that what the leadership was doing was wrong and that all he needed to do was talk with me and we could have easily resolved things, but he didn't do anything to stop the wrong and then he refused to talk with me or attempt to resolve anything. Then he broke every promise and his compromise which was the last thing he and I agreed to, the last words he spoke to me. He had no justification for it either because I had diligently kept my end of it until after he broke it anyway. I got punished for having one meltdown that he exacerbated! I got punished for having autism. I got punished for the way You created me, God. And You got punished for making me. God, You got punished by them. I saw them put Jesus back on the cross and spit in His face, mocking Him and His words, Your words. Your words that say that if they truly felt I was wrong then they should have engaged in proper and biblical church discipline with me, and had they done so then there could be redemption and rejoicing in it, Your words that say that we are all part of the body and all needed, Your words that say that we are to seek peace and restoration with one another which I have tried but they have refused, Your words that say that as a result of his actions, Tom is not evidencing the marks of a true Christian, not qualified to be a pastor of any kind anywhere anymore, and Your words that would describe Oak Mountain as a church that You would spit back out because it has mistreated someone who is considered to be one of the least of these which would cause them to be sorted out into the goats. Many people seem to think that those passages only apply to individuals, but God, it applies equally to churches as well. Churches are people. And yes, it even applies to government. Though I am not a biblical scholar, far from it, I read of all the government systems that You demanded and commanded to help take care of the least of these. Governments have always made sure their entire kingdoms or countries have had enough food to eat, water to drink, and other basic needs, including healthcare. Because essentially the government consists of people. People who are supposed to take care of each other. Our government has been corrupted by a bad group of wealthy people claiming to be followers of Christ but all the while trying to take away resources to make sure people in need have food and affordable healthcare and resources when they are disabled or retired or veterans. They have become greedy and have shifted to taking care of more people in powerful positions and forgotten the needs of the people and have shifted funds around so that people in need have next tot nothing while people who are not in need get more and more money. And the people get more and more money but do not turn around and use it for what they are supposed to use it on, but only pad their pockets more. Then those same greedy people go back and ask for more money which gets taken away from the people in need again. The people in need are getting beaten up and kicked down in the name of Christ and personal responsibility. Then the people not making the decisions paint this ugly picture of a welfare queen who owns expensive things using tax dollars and buys cigarettes on an EBT card (those cards have many programs on them, they are to cut down on fraud). They don't stop to think that perhaps the picture they paint is not the case MOST of the time. They call everyone on assistance or receiving checks from the government lazy. Government benefits go to many people: veterans who served our country for those people to feel so entitled to judge people receiving checks - the ungrateful jerks right, disabled people who cannot work or can no longer work and not all of the disabilities are visible, the senior citizens who have retired because of old age, the single moms or dads who have lost their husbands or wives to war, the young married couples who have children but only one can work because they cannot afford daycare because one of the kids has special needs that before the ACA was not able to be insured but now can but many of the therapies needed are still not covered by the insurance either because it is not FDA approved and certified or because they consider it investigational or because lawmakers haven't been very inclusive about having those services covered, the mom or dad who escaped an abusive situation or got abandoned and left alone with children. REAL people with REAL problems. How does a person on SNAP have a car? Because either it is used, they had it before needing SNAP, or it doesn't belong to them and they borrowed it from someone. How does a person on SNAP have a cell phone or an iPhone? Because iPhones are not expensive if you get a two year agreement plan, because it was a gift, because it was part of a family plan and family package, because it was purchased during the holiday sales. How does a person on SNAP have Internet? They go to the library or a friend's house with internet or they had it before they ended up needing SNAP. Anymore you need internet to apply for jobs. Since when is the person who is asking these judgmental questions so entitled anyway? People on SNAP are buying steak and lobster! Really? Not unless they get it from the dollar store or have coupons. Most people on SNAP get less than $200 a month. Unless they do serious couponing to make those dollars stretch throughout the whole month, most of them are not buying steak and lobster. And even if they are buying steak and lobster, what business is it of anyone else's what they are eating? What makes that person who is judging so entitled to judge? The sense of entitlement isn't coming from the people on the assistance programs. Chances are many of those people hit rock bottom, asked a church to help, got some help and then got referred to other agencies, peeled away their pride to go to the other agencies, and then got the help they needed when they most needed it. Or the person went to a church for help and got turned away. The only people I see who have entitlement issues are the ones sitting there judging and pointing fingers at the ones who have assistance right now. Many if them are sitting on the internet hours a day mocking and pointing their fingers telling the ones on social programs to get off their lazy butts and get a job. They don't think before they write those hateful and judgmental comments. Many of them claim to be Christians too, then they judge the Christians like me who change political affiliation out of shame and embarrassment that You, God, are being mocked and people are being bullied and abused in Your name. Humanity. What ever happened to it God? Compassion for our fellow humans. Respect for our fellow humans. No, President Obama is not Muslim and even if he was, what does it matter when You, God, ultimately appointed him to be the president? And no, he isn't perfect, no man is. And no, he is not the antichrist. Many presidents have been labelled as such. God, I am glad You listen to what I have to say. I am glad that You care about what I have to say and about what I think. Now it is time for me to take care of some chores then get still and quiet while I finish a book so that I can later be still and quiet absorbed in Your words. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Speak Life by TobyMac (YouTube)

Some days, life feels perfect

Other days it just ain't workin'

The good, the bad, the right, the wrong

And everything in between

Yo it's crazy, amazing

We can turn a heart through the words we say

Mountains crumble with every syllable

Hope can live or die

So speak life, speak life

To the deadest darkest night

Speak life, speak life

When the sun won't shine and you don"to know why

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted

Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope

You speak love, you speak...

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Some days the tongue gets twisted

Other days my thoughts just fall apart

I do, I don't, I will, I won't

It's like I'm drowning in the deep

Well it's crazy to imagine

Words from our lips as the arms of compassion

Mountains crumble with every syllable 

Hope can live or die

So speak life, speak life

To the deadest darkest night

Speak life, speak life

When the sun won't shine and you don't know why

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted

Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope

You speak love, you speak...

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Lift your head a little higher

Spread the love like fire

Hope will fall like rain

When you speak life with the words you say

Raise your thoughts a little higher

Use your words to inspire

Joy will fall like rain

When you speak life with the things you say

Lift your head a little higher

Spread the love like fire

Hope will fall like rain

When you speak life with the words you say

So speak life, speak life

To the deadest darkest night

Speak life, speak life

When the sun won't shine and you don't know why

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted

Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope

You speak love, you speak...

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak life (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Some days life feels perfect

Be Still and Know by Rebecca St. James (YouTube)

Alone in the valley

I cried for You to fill me with

Your peace

So when the lightning strikes

Thunder rolls around me

Still I live in peace

You ask that I...

Be still and know 

You are God

Be still and know

You are God

You are God...

When the fires rage

When the storm surrounds me

Still I live in peace

Though the mountains fall

Crash into the ocean 

Still I live in peace

You ask that I...

Be still and know

You are God

Be still and know

You are God

You ask that I...

Be still and know

You are God

Be still and know 

You are God

You are God...

Lead me through the valley

Lead me by the streams

Restore me and draw me to You God

To You I lift my soul

To You who makes me whole

Gently You hold me close to You

Oooh...close to You...ooohh...

Be still and know

You are God

Be still and know

You are God

Be still and know 

You are God

Be still and know

You are God

Be still and know

You are God

Be still and know

You are God

You are God...

You're near me

You love me

You hold me

You reach me

You still me

You move me

You draw me to You God

You're near me

You love me

You hold me

You reach me

You still me

You move me

You draw me to You God

You are God...

You are God...

(You are God...

You are God...)

You still me, You draw me to You

(You are God...

You are God...)

When the fires rages, still I live in peace

You are God...

Sit with Me

Psalm 73:23-24 - Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

II Corinthians 3:18 - And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

II Corinthians 3:18 (ICB) - Our faces, then, are not covered. We all show the Lord's glory, and we are being changed to be like him. This change in us brings more and more glory. And it comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Hebrews 13:15 - Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.

Dear God, If only Tom would have been consistent with me, then how much better things could be. But because he chose to believe untruths rather than the truth that he had already acknowledged several times, and because he chose not to work through the conflict and aim for restoration and seek peace, things escalated. He caused further damage when he violated all of his promises and his compromise. He turned ugly and is not the same Tom. And the Tom he became is not a Tom that should even be in a ministry position. And that breaks my heart. But the strangest thing is that I have been consistent in trying to show him the very same grace he used to show me and I have consistently tried to offer him the opportunity to correct the error of his ways. And really, it isn't too late because there are still two weeks left before the complaint would be made known. God, You know my heart is good in this. Please work in his heart to bring about the conversation that needs to happen. The one conversation that could actually help bring about more peace. What he did was injust, lacked grace, hateful, and arrogantly stupid. Through this, my mom has actually even begun to see You as well. She knows I am hurting yet I have shown far greater courage than is even possible for me to have. Right now, things are just so messed up. Attorneys that lack professionalism and never contact people sending inquiries be they already on a retainer due to contractual obligation or not. Agencies that claim they do things yet just don't have the resources to do the things they claim to do. I mean, really. Professionalism is a key thing to maintain if you want to make a good impression, and making a bad impression gets you called out big time. I am still not able to attend church right now. And that makes me sad. But the damage they did was so wrong and so unnecessary. They claim to believe in grace but they don't even practice it. They claim to believe in church discipline but they don't practice it. Tom claimed it was because of my autism. And if that is the case, then they basically put a big target sign on my back for all the leadership to see that said kick her until she is dead. And Tom, knowing that it was wrong, let it happen! And then he just joined right in. He knew it was wrong. He acknowledged it was wrong. Yet he still let it happen and joined in? God, I know the answer to this, but do You NOT see where Tom was wrong by his very own actions in this? Oh, wait. So that is where the complaint came in. Because Tom knew that what was going on was wrong, acknowledged that it was wrong, yet still he allowed it to happen and then joined in what he already knew and acknowledged to be wrong! And You call that sin. The repentance he needs to show is not so much with You as it is with me. I know You want me to forgive him, and if he would talk to me and restore Facebook, I could easily say I forgive you to him, but until then, I, like You, am hesitant to forgive him. I know You forgive us. WHEN WE ASK. And we repent. I am just evidencing more of You based on how You act according to the Bible. The funny thing is, the more I act like You, the more radical some people see me as being. Oh well. Jesus was seen as radical in His time, too. In response to something. I had seen about something Miley Cyrus (that girl has gone beyond Britney Spears' level of crazy) posted, but she got criticized for it big time, on none other than a page claiming to be Christian but in reality is almost as divisive as Fox News (which has no business being called news because they are too biased (hopefully they are not members of the SPJ or I would need to ask the SPJ to revoke their memberships for ethical violations)), but with the exception of one point, I agreed with her post. Jesus actually did define marriage in one of the passages where He taught about divorce. But Jesus never spoke about abortion or birth control. One reason I see is that even though He spoke about the least of these in Matthew 25, who are being even more oppressed by the republicans now than ever, is because Jesus didn't consider it possible to actually oppress the born. You can oppress the living, but you cannot truly oppress the unborn. And undoubtedly, the women who choose abortion probably felt oppressed before they made the decision (wouldn't you if you were a poor woman on SNAP because your husband was killed in war, you got pregnant by rape, but your lawmakers placed the burden of proof on you to prove it was rape or threatened to take away your SNAP benefits like they do in Pennsylvania and are trying to do everywhere now?). So the woman is already being oppressed before she got pregnant. She was oppressed because she got raped. She chooses abortion because of it. And she gets oppressed even more being called a murderer over a decision made due to stupid lawmakers who claim to be Christian? This is playing out exactly the way things were happening back when Jesus talked about the least of these to start with! As to birth control, it didn't exist as we know it back then. But anyone who says that it is unbiblical is being legalistic. Birth control is used in women like me who have life threatening anemia in order to prevent bleeding out. Pretty much, I am no longer allowed to bleed at all because of the severity of things. Major freak out, God. I lost one of the pills. Probably rolled under the refrigerator that needs replacing soon. But the ironic thing is the same people that are so against abortion are also against the Affordable Care Act (I'm not based on biblical study I did into it) which can help women who pay for insurance obtain birth control at no cost if it meets certain specifications which can actually do more to reduce unwanted pregnancies which then reduces abortion rates, against SNAP and welfare (by the way, they need to stop clumping disability, social security, and veteran's benefits (they earned those benefits) into welfare). So they are trying to have things both ways. They lost that argument though when the FDA made Plan B an over the counter drug which means insurance doesn't pay for it anymore. The majority of people who are saying they are against the ACA are the ones who managed to get assistance to pay for their insurance. Here I am, in greater need of assistance and being harassed by the marketplace because my governor chose to put politics over people in Alabama. I'm supposed to qualify for Medicaid because I have disabilities that I am fighting with social security about (all of which are in the covered disabilities guide by the way, God, so You see the problem, right - neither the churches nor the government seem to actually want to help the least of these?). Ugh! God, seriously. I am all over the map this morning because I have so much pent up emotion! Tom was and is wrong. His church was and is wrong. The republicans are wrong. And Fox News and The Christian Post are wrong. Anything that goes against Your word at any point is wrong. Tom violated Your word when he allowed what he acknowledged to be wrong to happen and then joined in. His church violated Your word when they chose to not show the grace they claim to believe in and chose not to exercise proper church discipline with me. The republicans are wrong because they keep hurting the people who are lower income while they claim to be Christians. Fox News is wrong because they are biased. The Christian Post is wrong because they post divisive things and every time they post about the president, they do it in an effort to stir up division. And the people on that page violate Your word with every attack they make on him. Romans 13 says we are to respect every God-given authority under heaven and to pray for them. Where was all this name calling when Bush was president? But a black man is now president, something I never thought possible in my life, and suddenly, it's like the Civil Rights era all over again. They will probably do the same when a woman gets into office, too. Oh, God, so many people make me ashamed to be a Christian at times. They claim to be Christians while yet hating on everyone who is the least of these. Today, I actually thank You for giving me autism because one of the best parts is my honesty and my integrity and my genuineness. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

One World by TobyMac (YouTube)

One time

One world

Two times

One love

Three times

Rewind

'Cause I'm a dedicate this song to everyone of God's children

Come as you are

Come just like you be

It's the bumps and curves of our history

But no blocks in the road that we can't traverse

And no wounds from the past that can't be nursed

All,hate gonna dissipate from our fate

No check, together we got a checkmate

All hate gonna dissipate and fade away

To make room for a brand new day

We got one world 'til it's time to fly

We got so it's one love 'til we say good-bye

We got one world it's enough to share

'Til we're called home and we're called up in the air we got

One world

I'll look out for you, you look out for me

One world

Together we can be perfect harmony

One world

I'll look out for you, you look out for me

One world

And I'm a dedicate this song to everyone of God's children

One world oughta be more than enough

And if it's not, is God looking in pure disgust?

Wondering what the dilly with the silly I see?

When I made each of these in the image of me 

Everyday is a chance for a new stance 

Like every song is a chance for a new dance

And everyone of is was made to reflect the light

And glorify the most high so bright

We got one world 'til it's time to fly

So it's one love 'til we say good-bye

We got one world it's enough to share

'Til the King calls us home and we're caught up in the air we got

One world

I'll look out for you, you look out for me

One world

Together we can be perfect harmony

One world

I'll look out for you, you look out for me

One world

And I'm a dedicate this song to everyone of God's children

You can come as you are

Love is yours

Love is ours

I am a witness

Sweet forgiveness

You will shine like a star

Burning bright where you are in our one world, one world

Like a star, like a star, like a star

One world

Like a star, baby

One world

And I'm gonna dedicate this song, dedicate this song

Let's come together and love

Let's come together and love

Let's come together and love

Let's come together and love, come together 

His Story My Story My Story His Story

This past fall and winter/spring terms, the women's Bible study at my church has been one of unity in large group and intimacy in small groups. During the fall, we studied who God is and what God is like through a super fast paced study of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. During the winter/spring, we began to delve more into our personal stories and learning how to REALLY LISTEN to each other. This is MY story. His story through my life and experiences.

So the BIG day came today. It was my turn to share. Only one problem. It meant communication. Communication that was not necessarily a form that I was comfortable with or ready for. I already felt the pressure of having a harder life in my short lifespan and feeling a little envious of everyone else. I had even thought in the past week that I did not even want to try to share. What could I say? How could I say it? What if it's too hard? What if it's too much? How do I tell my story without feeling unsafe?

So this past weekend, I finally landed on a solution. I hear God in music and in nature. The babbling of a creek in a park. Songs. So what if I could find a way to use that to my advantage. Use songs to help tell my story. I would still tell my story, but I would use the songs to help me communicate in a way that would feel safe for me. That way, I could just explain why those songs told my story.

So that's exactly what I did. This is my story. My story through songs. God's story through my life as told through songs.

The songs I chose that best fit my life are: "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North, "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns, "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North, "Healing Begins" by Tenth Avenue North, "Move" by NewSong and "Get Back Up" by TobyMac.

I had some help finding scriptures to go with the songs. And I will admit, in some ways, I may have "cheated," but you know what? I was able to communicate just enough with the help of the songs. I was not trying to wimp out by using songs to help me tell my story. Nope. Wimping out would have been to back out entirely. But instead of backing out entirely, I took the creative approach to overcome my verbal communication challenges and tell my story.

So here is my story. Grant it, a small part of my story, but still my story. My part of God's bigger story.

"You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North
There's a girl in the corner with tear stains on her eyes/From the places she's wandered and the shame she can't hide/She says, "How did I get here? I'm not who i once was./And I'm crippled by the fear that I've fallen too far to love."

(Bridge)
But don't you know who you are,/What has been done for you?/Yeah don't you know who you are?

(Chorus)
You are more than the choices that you've made/You are more than the sum of your past mistakes/You are more than the problems you create/You've been remade

Well she tries to believe it that she's been given new life/But she can't shake the feeling that it's not true tonight/She knows all the answers and she's rehearsed all the lines/So she'll try to do better but then she's too weak to try

Bridge
Chorus

'Cause this is not about what you've done/But what's been done for you/This is not about where you've been/But where your brokenness brings you to/This is not about what you feel but He felt to forgive you/And what He felt to make you new

II Corinthians 5:17 (ESV) "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

To me, this song mirrors the very things that I feel and have felt on a frequent basis as I went through abuse at home and bullying at school. I did not have a safe place growing up. A lot of times when a child grows up in an abusive home, there is a lot of shame. The child sometimes has the distorted view that somehow he/she did something to deserve that treatment. But that is just not true.

"Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now God you would have reached down/And wiped our tears away,/Stepped in and saved the day./But once again, I say amen/And it's still raining/As the thunder rolls/I barely hear you whisper through the rain,/I'm with you/And as your mercy falls/I raise my hands and praise/The God who gives and takes away

(Chorus)
And I'll praise you in this storm/And I will lift my hands/That you are who you are/No matter where I am/And every tear I've cried/You hold in your hand/You never left my side/And though my heart is torn/I will praise you in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind/You heard my cry you raised me up again/My strength is almost gone how can I carry on/If I can't find you/And as the thunder rolls/I barely hear you whisper through the rain
I'm with you/And as your mercy falls/I raise my hands and praise/The God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills/Where does my help come from?/My help comes from the Lord,/The maker of heaven and earth/I lift my eyes unto the hills/Where does my help come from?/My help comes from the Lord,/The maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Revelation 7:17 (ESV) "For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

Psalm 121:1, 2 (ESV) "I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth."

In the middle of the storms that create the feelings of shame and fear, the hope is that God would intervene. And He does. It may be in unexpected ways, but eventually He always comes to the aid of His children.

"By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North
Why are you striving these days?/Why are you trying to earn grace?/Why are you crying?/Let me lift up your face/Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love?/Why are you still searching?/As if I'm not enough?/To where will you go child/Tell me where will you run?/To where will you run?

(Chorus)
I'll be by your side wherever you fall/In the dead of night whenever you call/Please don't fight these hands that are holding you/My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side/They swallowed the grave on that night/When I drank the world's sin/So I could carry you in/And give you life

(Chorus)
Here at my side wherever you fall/In the dead of night whenever you call/Please don't fight these hands that are holding you/My hands are holding you

And I, I love you/And I want you to know/That I, I'll love you/I'll never let you go

Psalm 37:24 (ESV) "though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand."

John 10:28-30 (ESV) "I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one."

This song reminds me that no matter what, God is always there by my side. As a sort of defensive mechanism to the abuse and the bullying, I ended up becoming a perfectionist. Perfectionism is both a good thing and a bad thing. But being a perfectionist trying to earn grace and acceptance and love is not a good thing. Because no matter what I do, I can never earn that. Try as I might. So being able to trust that God is always there by my side is a constant struggle for me.

"Healing Begins" by Tenth Avenue North
So you thought you had to keep this up/All the work that you do so we think that you're good/And you can't believe it's not enough/All the walls you built up are just glass on the outside/So let them fall down/There's freedom waiting in the sound/When you let your walls fall to the ground/We're here now

(Chorus)
This is where the healing begins/This is where the healing starts/When you come to where you're broken within/The light meets the dark/The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out/Everything that you hide could come crashing through the door now/But too scared to face all your fear/So you hide but you find that the shame won't disappear/Sparks will fly as grace collides/With the dark inside of us/So please don't fight this coming light/Let this blood come cover us/His blood can cover us

Ephesians 1:7 (ESV) "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,..."

Romans 5:9 (ESV) "Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God."

In the past couple of years, I have started to see where God has begun a healing process with me as I learn more about what has really been going on with my physical health and other areas. Recently, I learned that not only do I have ADHD, but I also have autism. And I still need testing for dyslexia. But knowing is half the battle as now I can learn more about how I am impacted and learn how to overcome the challenges that are presented. I do not have a disease that needs to be cured. I have a challenge to overcome. And I can do it because God will bring me through it. And I am not to be ashamed of it because eventually it will come to surface. I do not need to be putting up facades because in doing that I am fighting against the very people who are trying to help me and I need help. I need to stop fighting God because He is on my side.

"Move" by NewSong
I'm a man in need of a miracle/But all I have is hope/God I need to see Your power fall/Like it did in the days of old/I know You're who you say you are/Cause You've proven that to me/But this time seems impossible/Won't You help my unbelief

(Chorus)
I need to see You move/I need to see Your hand/I'm trying to live by faith/I don't know if I can/But I know You've not changed/There's nothing You can't do/I've done all that I can/The rest is up to You/I need to see You move

Like Moses in the wilderness/Like Daniel when he prayed/Like Simeon in the temple/When he finally saw Your face/Lord like them I'm just a man/And I've got everything to lose/So what you did for them/Would you do for me/What I'm desperate for is You

Chorus

I'm finding out what it really means/To trust You Lord with everything/To trust You, really trust You

Chorus

Through everything that I have encountered in my life, all of the hardships and other challenges, I have often felt that I really do need that miracle but that all I have is hope. I struggle with trusting God, but I am learning just what it really means to trust Him.

"Get Back Up" by TobyMac
You turned away when I looked you in the eye/And hesitated when I asked if you were alright/Seems like you're fightin' for your life/But why, oh, why/Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare/You saw it comin' but it hit you out of nowhere/And there's always scars when you fall that far

(Chorus)
We lose our way, we get back up again/It's never too late to get back up again/And one day you gonna' shine again/You may be knocked down, but not out forever/We lose our way, we get back up again/So get up, get up, you gonna' shine again/It's never too late to get back up again/You may be knocked down, but not out forever

You rolled out of the dawning of the day/Heart racin' as you made your little get away/It feels like you been runnin' all your life/But why, oh, why/So you pull away from the love that would've been there/And start believin' that your situation's unfair/But there's always scars when you fall that far

Chorus

This is love callin', love callin'/Out to the broken this is love callin'/This is love callin', love callin'/I am so broken/This is love callin', love callin'

What this song speaks to me about is that no matter how hard I fall, I can't fall so far that God cannot help me get back up again and get back in the fight. Whether it's because of something that I have done or something that has happened to me, I can still get back up. It is a song of hope and a song of courage. And like Gomer in Hosea when we initially hid from God but God still pursued us, I need to stop fighting and allow people to love me.

All of this realization that I am now starting to be able to share comes on the tail of having done a study on some of the names of God and identifying situations in my own life where I have seen those names the most. I still struggle, particularly with God as a Father, but I am taking baby steps and reaching milestones. I need help and I am done fighting against those who are trying to help me.

And I know God was working in this because in each of the six different songs there was one recurring theme throughout all of them that tied them all together. Frankly, this whole experience sharing my story even though through a more creative and unique channel of using song to help tell it has been very life affirming and confirming. And that's a good thing.

Contemporary Christian Music, a.k.a., Ay Ay Ay! Apparently Confusion Runs Amok Even in "Christian" Circles.

My head is spinning right now. I decided to Google the lyrics of "One World" sung by TobyMac. Little did I know that right on page one of the results would I find a blog post asserting that TobyMac and DCTalk "sing the devil's music in the name of Jesus." ?????!!!!!????? Yep! So I looked because I was curious. Yeah. The writer of that post, well, let's just say that from what I have been taught, there is NO passage of Scripture that says that a Christian can't use the rhythm and style of hip hop, rap, country, rock, etc. to glorify God and spread the message of the Gospel. Is there really a such thing as "the devil's music?" Can't prove it by me. What makes music right or wrong when it comes to the controversy of that old and stiff Southern Gospel (no offense, I'm only 33 and most of the Southern Gospel was written BEFORE I was born) and CCM?

Music, in itself, is not good or bad. God created us to sing and dance for Him. Rap is not good or bad. Where you have to ask about the quality is what is the message? IF a Christian is using his words to glorify God, encourage others, edify the church and speak the truth in love, then regardless of the music style, it is good. However, if the lyrics tear people down (race and gender included), curse God, and promote violence and hatred, then it is bad. It's not the music; it's the lyrics. So, here's my stance: Give me my TobyMac music. His music, his lyrics have helped me through some tough times of late. Between him and Casting Crowns and Tenth Avenue North, I have been able to find God. Am I where I want to be yet? No. But I thank God that there have been some people whose music has reached through my bubble and brought me back up for air.

On another note, the aforementioned post writer has apparently been a subject of controversy over some things he has apparently done. And, well, he has no way to contact him as he claims he has health issues such to the extent that he cannot read or answer e-mails. Hmmm.... No offense, but sounds fishy to me.

Secretly I kind of hope that TobyMac sues that man for defamation. Basically calling Toby the devil. Really?

Okay, I am going to go sleep over my topic of my first piece of writing that is not going to be written for publication. I might blog about what I learn along the way. God's great name/names of God. I can start it officially after the Gluten Free Expo this Saturday. Praying for good weather, more volunteers and that plenty of doctors and nurses attend.

Oh Alabama. Can We Be Like a City on Our Knees?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlaKYbG5Bq0

I love how certain songs ring louder during certain times. TobyMac's "City on Our Knees" wrenched me.

We have been physically and emotionally devastated, some more than others. May this song be one of encouragement and hope.

Huge Announcement Post StadiumFest

First thing, if you missed StadiumFest this year, it was totally AWESOME! I got assigned to an inflatable - a slide - over in the Bronner Burgess Children's Play Area. Seeing the children have fun on it was a highlight. Bello, well, let's just say, he scared me. That man is absolutely crazy! Climbing to the top of some 90 foot sway pole. The minute he got to the top, I panicked. Did not see him come down the thing head first as I kept covering my eyes most of the time while he was up there. I'd sooner face a snake or a spider than watch that kind of stunt. Yikes!

Hearing Rick and Bubba give their testimonies. I was amazed. Befuddled, but amazed. I forget which one referenced the age of accountability, but as I have learned, there is no age of accountability. It's not Biblical! In the grand scheme of learning more about predestination, God knows exactly who and when someone will finally accept His pursuit of them and become a Christian. But they still had great stories.

Casting Crowns. I'm not much into their music. They have the same flavor as MercyMe. And their music is not really up my stream. But Casting Crowns was great. They sang "Praise You in This Storm." Mark Hall wrote it as he was going through some hard stuff involving his adopted daughter, who like me, has a lot of medical challenges to face. His story about his daughter really hit close to home and gave me a new source of inspiration. And believe it or not, this really stiff Presbyterian actually raised her hands WAY up during some of the songs that Casting Crowns did. Good luck getting me to actually do that at church though. I don't think I'm quite there yet.

Oh my word. All I could think is when is TobyMac coming out, right? TobyMac was my highlight. Sort of, but I'll explain in a few paragraphs about the sort of. They brought Bello out again. Let's just say, the difference in seeing him on top of that pole in broad daylight and then at night, well, something about the night does really make things much scarier and more intense. Absolutely could not watch this time around. Those hands shot over my eyes allowing for only a small peek. You know like how when young children get uncomfortable when two people on the screen start kissing? Yep.

Finally, TobyMac. Let's just say, I wasn't the only one who nearly burst at the seams. Funny thing was that near where I was seated/standing, there was a family with teenagers and their mom was more excited about TobyMac than I was, and I was like a giddy school girl when he came out. Yep. I actually squealed in delight! If you have never heard me emit that high-pitched squeal before, good luck getting it out of me.

And I know he reads his Facebook fan page! I actually had posted that if he sang "Made to Love," "Get Back Up," and "City on Our Knees," that it would be the highlight for me. Guess what? He sang ALL three of those songs! He did songs off every one of his albums and quite a few off his newest album. And one of the culminating songs was a throwback to DCTalk days - "Jesus Freak." When he finished "City on Our Knees," he spun off with "Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city." Instantly I thought of my church and my pastor, who absolutely loves the message of that song. Sadly, TobyMac wrapped us up with "Sha na na na, hey hey hey, good-bye." I think I actually wanted to cry at this point because I did not want the night to end.

By the way, I reapplied sunblock every two hours. Came out with seven sun burned patches. I did not know I had to put the stuff on my ears. And I think I may have gotten the darkest I'll ever get on my arms, but mostly I have more freckles. Ugh. God's design though. Fair skinned, red-haired people are not made for the sun. And wearing ear plugs. Uncomfortable little things, but with a mild hearing loss, I saved whatever hearing I have left. There's a reason God made a worrywort.

One thing that concerned me. My church does not do altar calls. I could kind of understand why after witnessing no fewer than four of them at StadiumFest. The emotions are high at those kind of events, so if you have altar calls, how many of those professions of faith are genuine? And how do altar calls fit in the grand scheme of predestination? And Scott Dawson made it sound as though if you prayed the prayer and did not go forward that you were somehow sinning. So of course, I have some confusion.

But I said I had a huge announcement.

I went into StadiumFest as a volunteer. Thank you Facebook advertisements. But I had some serious doubts about my own salvation going in. So, during one of those calls, I did pray that little prayer. I did not go forward, but I did pray. And the majority of my doubts are gone.

Now if only I could help make things right with some friends and all of us could see restoration, I think everything might start looking brighter. There's a prodigal who wants to come home and a little lost lamb who wants to return to the flock. She just needs to know that it's okay.

Upcoming Event

If you are interested in perhaps one of the biggest FREE events (outside of Alabaster's CityFest in June) in the Birmingham area, come to StadiumFest Saturday, April 2, 2011. The event will be held at Spain Park High School and will have a children's play area. Christian group Casting Crowns and Christian artist TobyMac are the headliners along with several local "celebrities," like Rick and "Bubba," Kevin Derryberry and James Spann the weatherman from ABC 33/40. By the way, they would like as many volunteers as they can get, so consider contacting them about volunteering your time before, during or after the AWESOME music as well as enjoying the FREE event. It's really NOT too often that I get THIS excited over upcoming events, but this one merits the excitement. And if you do come, look for me over in the children's area where I will be volunteering before going to see TobyMac whose music has been an inspiration and an encouragement since I got diagnosed with my immune deficiency almost a year ago. And in case you're wondering who TobyMac is, most of the more mature people may recall the Christian group DCTalk. I will post more information and links in the days to come when I can access a computer, but for now, consider this a preview until after I see my primary medical doctor about some rather intense upper right quadrant pain that needs prayers.

TobyMac and Theology

Unbelievable as it may seem, one of the most theologically sound singer/songwriters right now is TobyMac. Yes, TobyMac, of DC Talk fame. Presently, I have several of his songs on my playlist, including many from his latest album release, Tonight. So what do songs like "City on Our Knees," "Break Open the Sky," "Get Back Up," and a slightly older song, "Made to Love" all have to do with theology?

Well, "City on Our Knees" has a strong missional message. And missions is not just going to some foreign land. Missions can happen right in our own homes, our neighborhoods, and yes, even in the walls of our church.

"Break Open the Sky" not only has a missional message, but also an anticipatory message. We anticipate the work of Jesus, the work of God to supersede our own human efforts.

"Get Back Up" is a little more personal, but this song has held me up through some of my weakest times over the course of the past year. I don't want this to get too personal on this blog but I am now past the one year mark since I first got tested by my first immunologist who found that I have an incurable, untreatable immune deficiency that makes me more vulnerable to bacterial infections, but really any infection. It's when I first realized the importance of friendships and began to really reach out via Facebook and make connections online so that if God ends up superseding in His own way I can still have my friends. And now I can imagine half of any reader of this post is now going "Aha! So that's why...." But this song reminds me of how grace operates.

"Made to Love." Shorter Catechism Question 1: "What is the chief end of man?" Answer: "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever." We truly were made to love God, and even though really only the elect were made to find God, we were made to find Him, just for Him, and to be loved by Him.

Amazing how sometimes music really makes theology click.