I Can Use You

Luke 1:37 - For nothing will be impossible with God.

Luke 1:37 (ICB) - God can do everything!

II Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Dear God, Thank You that You can and will use me despite of and even because of any of my weaknesses. Thank You for giving me autism, which I actually have come to embrace, not as a weakness, but as an integral part of who I am and who You created me to be. Thank You. Now, in Your power, I will write the letter and get it ready for the mail. And I will entrust it to Your guidance to bring the other party or parties to come into the much needed meeting to attempt biblical conflict resolution. You already are using me in big ways because I have autism and I have many other gifts that You have given me. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Whisper "Jesus"

Proverbs 29:25 - The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Dear God, You say that I should not worry about trying to please others so much as trying to please You. That is why the conflict with Oak Mountain exists. Ginny accepted me for who YOU created me to be - autism and all. She did not try to force me to be someone that You did not intend for me to be. But Mikki and. Mark did. They tried to force me to change, they tried to change my very being, just so I would be "normal." God, You did not create me to be normal. You created me to be special and to shine. You created me to blossom and bloom. Like the rose that has to unfold for us to experience its full beauty. That is how YOU created me. Tom started to see the unfolding until he acted hatefully toward me rather than work toward biblical conflict resolution which YOU Yourself would rather see. Now I rest secure knowing this and can finally write the letter this weekend. Thank You God. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

I Never Left

Genesis 28:15 - Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

Romans 8:31 - What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Hebrews 13:8 - Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. 

Dear God, I want to be loved. It is just so hard for me. Every time someone says they are my friend and that they love me and that they always will love me, they turn around and hurt me, like Tom. He didn't even give me closure. He just broke his promises and his compromise. I kept my end of the compromise and he broke it. That level of hurt that he caused is almost impossible to get past, especially when the right thing to do is to seek restoration. His failure to do so means he does not love You the way he claims to, that he lied to me, and that he is not a Christian since one of the marks of a true believer as You have named in scripture is the willingness to seek restoration and aim for peace with another believer. If he is a true believer, then You need to work on softening his heart and bring about the conversation God. He was not just a friend, but he was a father figure and that kind of a friend is not one that can just do what he did without there being lasting consequences. And it is not one that can be forgotten or let go of. It is one that has to be fought for and restored. If it is not restored, I could be lost forever as I give up on trying altogether because of fear that I will just be hurt again because of the bullies who pushed him to abuse me like he did when he violated his end of the compromise. God, I want to seek peace and aim for restoration. I want the biblical conflict resolution process to begin with him. But You need to move in a big way. Please. Before I give up on You too for fear that You will ultimately reject me altogether too. It hurts knowing that they abused me and bullied me just because they learned that I have autism. It really does. It hurts that rather than listen to me or work with me or include me or even to work on conflict resolution that they chose instead to abuse me. Their actions and Tom's actions lack the grace that they claim to cling to and that they talk so much about. And their excuse? Because if have autism and to them that makes me less deserving of grace somehow which is simply not true. If anything, the autism means I need more grace. God, please move. Please bring a conversation with Tom at least. Please bring closure if nothing else. Please God. Thank You for loving me even when I pull away and fight against You because of my fear. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

I Am Always

Psalm 37:3-4 - Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Hebrews 7:25 - Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.

Dear God, I do not understand everything that has happened except that what Tom did and the way he did it was wrong and that he is acting AGAINST the scripture when it comes to conflict resolution. He hardened his and lied about what happened. Please open his heart and move him into biblical conflict resolution with me. And please keep holding me. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Hold Me by Jamie-Grace with TobyMac (YouTube)

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you, the way you

I've had a long day, I just wanna relax

Don't have time for my friends, no time for chit chat

Problems at my job, wonderin' what to do

I know I should be working but I'm thinking of you and

Just when I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down

That's when your smile comes around

Oh, I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way you hold me, in your arms I'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love you more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine loving you less

Lord, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh

Well ya, took my day and you flipped it around

Calmed the tidal wave and put my feet on the ground

Forever in my heart, always on. My mind

It's crazy how I think about you all of the time

And just when I think I'm 'bout to figure you out

You make me wanna sing and shout

I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine even loving you less

Lord, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh

I'm so grateful and thankful for all you've done

Wish I could tell you in a short story or poem

But all I have is my voice and this guitar

And you have my heart

Oh, I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love the way you hold me, by my side you'll always be

You take each and every day, make it special in some way

I love you more than the words in my brain can express

I can't imagine even loving you less

Lord, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh, I love the way you hold me

Whoa, oh

Oh, I love

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me

I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me, hold me, hold me