Facebook Punishes Victims of Cyberbullying Yet Does Nothing to the Bully

So I got attacked yesterday based on my photo apparently as being a "poor person who doesn't pay for insurance under the ACA." I had simply defended against an idiot who said they wanted the ACA repealed because they didn't want to pay for poor people. They were called out for being a fundamentalist troll by someone prior. I simply said they weren't accurate and how the ACA allows me to not be the person who has to be stuck in an ER-charity care rut but that I do pay FULL PRICE for the policy I have. That's when they launched their attack on me based on my looks. Well, so I woke up this morning to find, guess what? I cannot post, like, comment, or do anything for 24 hours because apparently my calling the bully out for attacking a disabled person who benefits from the ACA protections was deemed inappropriate. Yes, my whole PROFILE is on lockdown because I defended myself against a bully on Facebook. And get this. The bully? Nothing happened to them. Facebook did NOTHING against the bully. The victim gets their entire profile on lockdown while the bully goes free. What kind of message does this send? In a day and age where cyberbullying is on the rise, what kind of message does locking the profile of the victim send? Well, I will be contacting the ACLU about this to make sure it does not happen again. In the meantime, there are some things I am supposed to be doing (social media blasts, sending my address back to some friends for Christmas cards, helping other disabled individuals and their families) that I can not do because the main source for doing these things has been disabled all because I called out a bully for being a bully. It's actually a gross situation too when you think about it. People get away with hate speech against the disabled on Facebook, reports about it go ignored, and the bullies still spread the hate speech. Yet when it's spam, scam, fake news, bullying a person of a different race, etc., they act and they act promptly. The double standard that is prevalent with this is appalling. Oh, and welcome to Trump's world. A place where the victims of cyberbullying are punished for defending themselves and for being disabled. A place where those who defend the rights of the poor, the disabled, the elderly, the veterans get attacked and called all kinds of things that are simply not true or right. A place where the ability to think freely and express one's opinion is no longer allowed without being the target of a bully and where you cannot stand up against the bully. A place where bitterness and hate and anger is now prevalent and love and peace and gentleness is no longer the norm. A place where the least of these among us are living in terror because they may lose the safety net they need to survive in this unjust country. A place where we have to pray for one last miracle to keep Trump and all those hateful people he is appointing out of DC. A place where the least of these among us cry in anguish wondering if they will still have insurance coverage the next day or if they will get the dreaded letter that says they are being denied or dropped. A place where the least of these among us wonder if they will still have a roof over their heads or food on their tables the next day. A place where the least of these is starting to pray that Jesus comes today because they don't want to suffer nor should they have to suffer. A place where even evangelical churches and their leaders showed their ugly side by standing up in support of the idiot elect knowing full well that the message he was sending was one of hate, not love. This world has become an ugly and terrifying place for the least of these. 

I leave these words from Jesus: "Whatsoever you did to the least of these, you did to me. Whatsoever you didn't to the least of these, you didn't to me." Jesus, it looks like You're going to have to remain naked, homeless, thirsty, hungry, sick, poor, and imprisoned. The Trump supporters have made their decision. They don't care about You or Your needs. They don't care about the least of these. And they are using Your name as their reason. "You shall know them by their fruit." That is some NASTY fruit. 

I have seen many vulnerable Christians who comprise the least of these among us essentially threaten to disassociate from other "Christians" since the election. They have decided that enough is enough and they no longer want to be associated with those who would support Trump and his party of hate. I disassociated myself from the party in 2010 when a group calling themselves the tea party infiltrated the party with hate for the sitting president over his skin color and his desire to help ALL of America as opposed to the 1%. I distanced myself from the party entirely after a sermon called SWOOP by a pastor in Birmingham in 2012 before that election. I listened to him as he shared how the 47% comment made by Romney was just wrong in principle. How it was judgmental. And then I listened to him explain how sometimes the woman gets an abortion because there's a law that says that if she needs help feeding her children that she cannot have another baby unless she can prove she was attacked or assaulted or she will lose the help she needs to feed her already living children. I listened to him as he said how it is wrong to judge that woman who got the abortion without knowing her story and how it is our duty as Christians to love that woman and to share God's grace with her. 

Let's dissect that message some more. How can you, as a "Christian" support someone who wants to throw people off of insurance that they need in order to stay out of the ER? If I lost both BCBS and Medicaid access today, I would lose access to three medicines that keep out of the ER, one medicine that is maintenance medicine so I don't get anymore sluggish than I already am, and I would certainly not be able to get IVIG for my immune deficiency. We would not be able to establish whether I have mast cell activation disorder or mastocytosis or what kind of mastocytosis I have. All of these conditions are manageable with the help of insurance coverage for prescriptions. And as my body adjusts to them, I have the potential to return to the workforce. But until then, I cannot work at all, hence the disability aspect of my life. I am among many that face this risk now. And some of them only have Medicaid because they literally cannot afford BCBS. 

Let's continue to dissect that message. How many disabled and elderly are on SNAP (aka food stamps)? Let's make that simple, if they are able-bodied, they are working under the re-implemented work requirements. So if they are not working and are on SNAP, they fall in one of less than a handful of categories which include disabled and elderly. At what point did Jesus say, here take this bread and this fish and feed everyone but don't feed them until they pee in this cup? At what point in His message about the least of these did He ever mention drug testing? Never? Then why do the "Christians" insist on doing this? Why do they keep cutting food benefits? 

Dissect it some more with regard to SS for the retired, SSI for the low income disabled who are still young, SSDI for the older disabled, Medicare for the elderly and some disabled and even veterans. We could on all day. 

Ask yourself dear "Christians" how you can support a party that wants to bring harm to the least of these that Jesus talked about and likened to Himself? Ask yourself how you can support an idiot elect who spread so many messages of hate and even encouraged his supporters to attack the opposition for spreading love? Ask yourself how you can have such a double standard? If Mr. Obama had done half of what Trump has been doing since the election, he would have been impeached or recalled before even being allowed to step into DC. Yet the same people have turned a blind eye to Trump essentially giving him the thumbs up. A man who spoke openly in the past about wanting to sleep with his daughter and grabbing women without their consent. A man who bashed the disabled, people of color, people of different ethnic backgrounds and different religions. A man who thinks being given $1 million by his daddy is a "small loan." A man who has bankrupted many times, stiffed his employees, makes them all sign non-disclosure agreements, attacks the very amendment that lets him show his stupidity, attacks the press for doing its job to report on his hot headedness and ignorance as well as his hypocrisy, a man who has been influenced by Russia and set to country on a sure path to WWIII.... If you support this, then not only do I call you out for not really being a true Christian, but I have no sympathy and no empathy for when you find everything that was predicted about Trump causes you to suffer. 

We have one last hope for a miracle from God in this matter and that is the antiquated Electoral College who is constitutionally charged to put forth faithless votes when a candidate proves to be a clear and present danger to this country. It is their constitutional duty to bar from office any person who proves to be grossly unqualified for such a position of power in this country. And it is actually illegal for any state to fine the electoral college members from fulfilling their constitutional duty. And of in the off chance any members of the electoral college happen to be reading this, I hereby charge you to uphold your duty to bar Trump from the office of president. He has done too many things that prove how unfit he is for the position and this country has literally flipped an ugly corner since the election.

This got long, and this went into some things that are not necessarily directly related to my main title, but this is the first time I have truly been able to focus my thoughts enough to write about it. I have been hurt by Trump supporters. And I have many friends who have also been hurt by Trump supporters. And the worst part of it all is that the victims get punished while the bullies do not. Facebook sent a horrible message with their actions today. A horrible message. Update, I reported the bully and of course, as usual, Facebook did nothing about it. They allowed the bully to remain unpunished. And I am still under punishment. For being a victim that had the nerve to stand up for herself. 

Keep Walking with God Along the Path He Has Chosen for You

Psalm 16:11 - You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 

Psalm 37:23-24 - The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.

Dear God, my path is different from another person's path and still another person's path is different from my own path. While our paths may cross and even intermingle for a while, our paths will always be different. It frustrates me when people who don't know the oath I have been on to get to where I am try to force me onto a different path because when they hear I have autism, they somehow equate that to being less than or inferior to themselves. Or they somehow think that the path You have chosen for me is wrong because it doesn't fit their ideas about things. I am still so wounded by how that care team turned out with the two individuals in it basically destroying everything and worst of all, destroying my spirit. I am still wounded by Tom's end and him standing up for what he knew was right and against what he knew was wrong. I am still holding hope in You that You will eventually allow reconciliation between Tom and myself, but also know that even when You do, he and I will be so different by that point that things will have to be different. I mean it may be possible that he and I could refriend on Facebook, but will it be friends in real life again? Probably not really. I would rather spend my life with no real friends off Facebook whatsoever than to be hurt the way he hurt me again. But maybe that is the path I have been given, one destined to have friends and acquaintances but never to have any that are really close or personal. I mean real friends forgive and don't abandon their friends when in need. Real friends stick it out and love on their friends even when a conflict arises. Real friends stick up for what is right and stand up against what is wrong. My path is my path, and my path includes autism, immune deficiency, and whatever is going on in my gut. My path is not perfect, but my path is my path because You have chosen it for me. Anyone who tries to push me off my path is not worth my time or energy. Anyone who tries to come along side of me and offers me a supportive hand along the way is worth my time and energy and even my forgiveness. Tom is one of them. But maybe that will be a miracle if it happens this year. I love You God. And I hope I am doing my best to follow the path You have chosen for me. Help me to not stumble off it and to resist the slips and falls along the way. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Ways You Can Help in the Wake of the Alabama Disaster

As many of you already know by now thanks to the power of social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook, Alabama has been devastated by storms that swept through April 27, 2011. The number of fatalities is staggering. Many of you may want to help. I have been in contact with several companies myself and will post as I can about the ways they have responded periodically. There is an outpouring coming from all over the country via various Facebook pages with people wanting to donate items and volunteer.

This storm has disrupted many lives in Cullman County, the Birmingham metro area, and the city of Tuscaloosa and several smaller communities along the way. There are a lot of pictures at http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/04/tornadoes_kill_over_200.html. ABC 33/40 has a lot of aerial videos at their weather blog: http://www.alabamawx.com/.

An announcement from the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa stated yesterday that the semester was ending and students could take the grades they had as of April 27, 2011 or schedule their finals at a later date, but their graduation has been moved to August.

Radio stations in Birmingham have been working fervently to compile lists of ways people can help as have television stations. And my list is not complete, but it will be updated as I can.

1. Pray.

2. Contact the American Red Cross.

3. Contact area churches and missions agencies for ways you can donate financially or donate items or volunteer.

4. The church I attend has set up a disaster relief Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Oak-Mountain-Church-Disaster-Relief/182244861826158. They also have a page on their website: http://www.oakmountainchurch.org/tornado-disaster-relief.

Tornadoes, Uprooted Trees, Mass Devastation, Social Media, Royal Weddings and Providence

We here in Alabama are going through a gamut of emotions this morning as the reality of yesterday's brutal weather starts to sink in. This month has been storm after storm after storm. In my own backyard, I see providence. April 15 brought two tornadoes to Alabaster and because of forethought, my miracle dog was uninjured when a tree crashed in her area because she was inside. Last night, providence was clear as the dog's house was moved two feet and an entire tree was uprooted missing the house by about five feet. Again, the miracle dog was inside.

But the damage in Alabaster and Pelham pales in comparison to Tuscaloosa and Cullman. We who live in Alabama who only have downed trees and no structural damage or injuries are fortunate. Yes, it is ugly, but we are fortunate.

I have friends in Cullman who I have not heard from yet. I have friends in Tuscaloosa who are fine but in shock. And to be frank, I am with them. Most of Alabama is with them. Our hearts are torn over this.

Growing up, I lived in tornado alley in Oklahoma. My parents shielded me from "The Wizard of Oz" until high school. I saw "Twister" and "Tornado." But the footage from Tuscaloosa was exactly like what was in those films. Only real.

I heard McDonald's, Krispy Kreme, Hobby Lobby, and the shopping center off McFarland Avenue were flattened. And I wanted to cry. These are familiar places for any of us who have attended the University of Alabama. I want to go there and gather all my friends in hugs and cry with them.

Ten years ago, we relied on television, radio, newspapers and telephone for news about loved ones. Today, Facebook and Twitter. News of this tornado spread internationally via Facebook from the international students.

Yet, a royal wedding has been half of the focus on morning news shows. In the wake of mass destruction, we Alabamians do not care about the royal wedding. A wedding is joyful but lots of people get married and do not get such media attention. In the wake of the destruction in Alabama, the news media need to wake up and reset their priorities.

Providence got us through. Our death toll in Alabama is staggering. Providence will get us through. Our churches need to step in now and help their members and other residents. Show everyone that "Aslan is on the move."

A Public Confession and Apology

I have to admit that the past few months have been quite horrendous. My whole world was shaken up by the actions of one individual. An individual who I trusted. An individual who I looked up to and had great respect for. He broke an agreement that we had even though I kept my end of it. But in hindsight, and we have both learned this through a few joint counseling sessions that he has so willingly attended, we really didn't have clearly defined limits to that agreement. Although even still, he did acknowledge he could have handled it much better and much differently and yet to this day I feel like I am being punished, rejected and left out.

I recently lost a "friend" over the whole mess because I said some things about him that may not have been very good to say because I was so hurt - devastated. But the reality of that loss is that she and I were just not meant to be friends. Every thing I ever said, and I mean every thing, was judged by her to be antagonistic in nature, yet she did more than her fair share of antagonizing. There was a moment in which a question had come up in our Sunday night group meetings. Yeah, a question from her. She always did ask a lot of questions, to the point that hardly anyone else could ever get a word in edgewise or ask any questions they might have. Her recent question was a question that I, as a thirty-two-year-old and not quite a two-year-old baby Christian, would naturally expect from a two- to four-year-old child, not an adult with children. "Did Adam have a belly button?"

My pastor, in all the grace he could muster in response, just basically said that there were bigger things in life to think about, such as why it is that in our modern day, there are still countries that have not even heard the Word.

I reminded her of this and even though it was exactly what my pastor had said, she basically threw it back at me to the extent that she came across sounding as though she did not give a rip what my pastor had to say about it but that she can think about whatever she wants. That was the straw that broke my back. I do not take kindly to people who do not respect my pastor and friend.

I will admit that only earlier after he did what he did that I was so hurt that I actually implied that he killed grace. I am now to a point where grace may not be dead, but it still feels quite fractured. My pastor and I have to work on re-establishing a trust between the two of us so that we can experience a full restoration. And it seems like it is taking forever. But he has gone above and beyond what would be expected of a pastor. He has sat through no fewer than two hours of counseling sessions and will be embarking on a third in a couple of weeks. And I am only guessing that he will probably continue to sit through some additional sessions until he and I both feel confident that we have made progress and are restored. Baby steps are great for babies, but when you are thirty-two and have experienced the infractures to the trust infrastructure that began when I was a child, you would begin to understand why what happened hurts so much.

And this is where it gets really personal because to be honest, I think I am afraid to say this to my counselor, so whoever is reading this, I hope that you can provide some encouragement and some support and perhaps even share this with my counselor on my behalf, but yes, one of the biggest reasons I question God's providence and sovereignty is because my human father took away my innocence when I was just six. He beat me with a belt one night after my mother had gone to bed and at that time we lived in a trailer house and the two bedrooms were on separate ends of the trailer. Matter of fact, for the past four and a half years, I have had night terrors as my subconsciousness has revealed bits and pieces of another traumatic event that I am not entirely sure about the who and the what of yet but I suspect that my father did put me through SA. And that is a reality of which that if it did occur, I do not know if I am ready to know.

My counselor asked me why I suspect that. How do I explain that a physician who almost caused my death four years ago planted that bug to start with just because I explained that I felt violated when I went to the women's doctor? And because of something that I have lived with for the past 16 years, not counting the cutting which intensified around the same time because I used to feel so guilty for the shameful thing that I fell into that I would begin to cut my wrist? At first it was a paper clip, then it advanced to scissors. I had to get the pain out. I have never intended to do anything but.

The biggest pain was the biggest relief for me. My parents' divorce just before I turned 21. But my father disowned me. Then when my grandmother on his side died in 2003, that summer was the last communication I ever had with him and that was enough to realize how hateful he really was and to cut him out of my life altogether.

But you know why I still love my pastor despite what he did that has brought so many of these issues back to the surface? Because he never killed grace. If anything, despite of what he did that hurt me so much, he has actively been showing me grace and refusing to let me go despite my stubbornness and my continual "pooh pooh," let me go, let me leave, let me forsake you and everyone else because I do not like feeling rejected and left out which is what I feel right now because of what he did.

And if he is reading this, then we have a lot that has spilled out here that we probably need to go over for the next session if that is okay by him.

I am sorry that I ever said that he killed grace because he did not. I just do not understand grace. I hope that everyone reading this will do one thing. If you see me in the next couple of weeks, kill me with that grace and give me a giant bear hug, okay? Just do not come that close to me if you have a bacterial infection or have had one in the past couple of weeks because the nature of my immune deficiency is that I am most vulnerable to bacterial infections.

TobyMac and Theology

Unbelievable as it may seem, one of the most theologically sound singer/songwriters right now is TobyMac. Yes, TobyMac, of DC Talk fame. Presently, I have several of his songs on my playlist, including many from his latest album release, Tonight. So what do songs like "City on Our Knees," "Break Open the Sky," "Get Back Up," and a slightly older song, "Made to Love" all have to do with theology?

Well, "City on Our Knees" has a strong missional message. And missions is not just going to some foreign land. Missions can happen right in our own homes, our neighborhoods, and yes, even in the walls of our church.

"Break Open the Sky" not only has a missional message, but also an anticipatory message. We anticipate the work of Jesus, the work of God to supersede our own human efforts.

"Get Back Up" is a little more personal, but this song has held me up through some of my weakest times over the course of the past year. I don't want this to get too personal on this blog but I am now past the one year mark since I first got tested by my first immunologist who found that I have an incurable, untreatable immune deficiency that makes me more vulnerable to bacterial infections, but really any infection. It's when I first realized the importance of friendships and began to really reach out via Facebook and make connections online so that if God ends up superseding in His own way I can still have my friends. And now I can imagine half of any reader of this post is now going "Aha! So that's why...." But this song reminds me of how grace operates.

"Made to Love." Shorter Catechism Question 1: "What is the chief end of man?" Answer: "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever." We truly were made to love God, and even though really only the elect were made to find God, we were made to find Him, just for Him, and to be loved by Him.

Amazing how sometimes music really makes theology click.