Choose Joy Instead

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." - Philippians 4:4-6

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." - Hebrews 13:8

"Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the Lord." - Psalm 107:43

Dear God,

Choose joy over complaining. You are the same yesterday, today, and forever. God, grant me more patience when I encounter the evil and the hate in this world. Give me more gentleness and kindness. Help me kill it with kindness. Help me show more love. But also grant me more wisdom to know when I should just shut up and find an exit. Help me to never be afraid to correct someone that is being ignorant and spreading hate for others. But help me to always do so in love. Grant me the capacity to forgive and love like You forgive and love. Thank You for that which You have provided and will continue to provide even though I am unsure of how You will do so right now.

Thank You.

In Jesus' Name, 

Amen

Putting the Puzzle Together

"I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness." - Proverbs 4:11

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

"A man's steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way?" - Proverbs 20:24

Dear God, 

You are guiding me in wisdom and leading me to do what is right. God, this morning we awake to the Trump mouthpiece trying to call lies "alternate facts." No such thing. What is the right thing right now? Why does the right thing seem to go so wrong? I am beyond frustrated and beyond simply puzzled. I am befuddled. You are able to do something good out of anything that happens. God, please do. Nothing good comes out of throwing people out of their insurance coverage. Nothing good comes out of being ugly to the poor and throwing them off resources they need just to survive. God, the storms are bad, both literally and figuratively. Please bring light and good. 

Thank You.

In Jesus' Name, 

Amen

Taste and See That God Is Good

Genesis 16:13-14 - So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, "You are a. God of seeing," for she said, "Truly here I have seen him who looks after me." Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; it lies between Kadesh and Bered.

Psalm 34:8 - Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

John 20:19 - On the evening do that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you."

Colossians 3:15 - And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which you were called in one body. And be thankful. 

Dear God, peace. Goodness. God, You are not the God of the GOP which gave everyone a bitter pill. You are a God who loves every single person because every single person was created just as You wanted him or her to be. In Your loving goodness, You chose some of us to be less rich than others, and in Your loving goodness, You instilled on some good people in our history to design programs to help those less fortunate than others. You spoke clearly in Matthew 25 about how we are to treat those less fortunate. You instilled in governments all the way back to kings and kingdoms the value of humanity, a nation, a leadership, takes care of its citizens. I apologize for the GOP which misrepresents You. I ask for their eyes and their hearts to be opened to the error of their ways. And in the meantime, I ask for Your continued provision for my family. After all, You are a God of love and of peace, and You are good. Thank You for wisdom and goodness and peace. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

I Am Good

Psalm 34:8 - Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Psalm 34:8 (ICB) - Examine and see how good the Lord is. Happy is the person who trusts the Lord.

Isaiah 55:8-9 - For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Dear God, please help me trust that You are working for the good in my life even in times of hardships. Although I would prefer to understand the why of things, just like anyone else. But this past week has given everyone a glimpse of just how much we may never understand. A child left in a hot car all day died. And it seems that it may be possible that the father may have planned it and no one has heard what the mother thinks about everything being said about her husband or her child. A man is in jail possibly missing his child's funeral today. Media are trying to turn the funeral into a media circus. And the man might not get the fair trial he has a right to because too many people have condemned him before knowing ALL the facts. Even the most thorough story released leaves questions to be asked. And even I am trying to believe the best, but am starting to lean toward condemning him based on that thorough story. But where the case sets a slippery slope is knowing that the majority of cases in which a child has been left in a hot car have never resulted in charges or jail, and this case may set precedent. Especially when there are so many self-righteous hypocritical judgmental "I would never forget my child!" parents out there who although they might not have had it happen yet could have it happen and then may face the same judgments as this man has. If the internet search on the man's computer and if it was before he was arrested, then yes, he may deserve to be judged and condemned, but if the internet search happened and if it was after his arrest, then he has been unfairly judged and the people who have already condemned him in their hearts and minds are guilty of sin. Someone actually had the nerve to tell me they hope that I am not a parent just because I posted questions that needed answering before I could pass a judgment and reminders of the tips the media has been sharing ever since the first summer a child died from being forgotten in a hot car. They were mean and ugly when they said that and I said when I do become a parent to an adopted child that my child will learn to love and respect others and to look for the best and never spread hate or judgment before knowing all the facts like that woman did when she said those things to me. And as much as I would hope to be the best parent I could possibly be, I know and my child will know that I will never be perfect. But here is where I do see the good in why You have chosen to allow me to go through the physical problems I have right now, God. It pushes me toward adoption as an avenue and I will be able adopt some older children who have been waiting for their forever families for a long time. I always said since I saw my first animal birth that I was just going to adopt. It looked painful and messy. And I told my mom I never want to go through that. I was probably 8 at the time. At age 10, I had my own My Girl moment with the body changes. And I said it again. I said I was just going to adopt. When the anemia shut down part of my body functioning, I told the doctor, I can just adopt anyway, so why do I need it? I meant what I said and I have never veered from the idea of adoption. But right now people are asking how any good parent can forget their child in a car. If the child is still rear facing and the child falls asleep (no sound and no movement), it is possible. Not every parent has those special mirrors because they inhibit the safety of the vehicle to start with. The media has been suggesting that parents immediately leave their own things in the back seat of the car when they put their child in and put the child's things in the front seat so that if they pull into work and reach for their things but instead grab the child's things, it jogs their memory after what might be a horrendous commute that the child needs to be dropped off first. And because so many of these cases happen every year, car manufacturers are working on a special sensor to install in the cars or the car seats. We have sensors and alerts for everything else in a car, why not one that could prevent more of these deaths from happening? That was also where the lady was rude with me and told me she hoped I wasn't a parent. She claimed I was wanting a car to be a nanny. Um...no. And if I was a parent, I would my car to have all the bells and whistles necessary to make my family safer. Others have said, well, maybe we should still be allowed to have the child in the front seat. No. Most vehicles come standard with front passenger airbags and if a car equipped with those ends up in a front end collision, while the child might not be ejected from the car, the force of both a front and a side airbag could instantly kill a child in the front seat. That is why the labels suggest leaving the child in the back until a certain age, height, or weight. Under the new standards, I would have been in a booster seat until close to the end of high school because I was tiny then. I keep saying that instead of judging the people who do forget, that we need to come up with a solution to prevent more of these cases from happening. But then there are still people who jumped on me for saying that. I suggested that since so many people are attached to their phones that they set reminders in the phones. And I explained that part of the forgetfulness comes from the fact American society as a whole has become too busy for its own good. Which actually is quite sadly true. Then someone else jumped down my case for saying that. She got blocked though because I was tired of her nonsense. But I have experienced the busy-ness of people and I have often suffered because of it, so I know. And the one thing I do have the right to say is stop! You are not going to drag me into being so busy that I cannot function or breathe or have time for myself. My body will crash and burn if I dragged into that mess. I know because at least once a week, I do have a body crash. It shuts down on me mentally, emotionally, or physically. And it is not a pleasant experience. So when it does that, I have to stop and change my plans and let my body have its rest. And maybe that comes with the territory of the autism and the sensory issues, but it is a good things because it means I am learning what I need and what I can and cannot handle and how to deal with it. Thank You God for giving me that wisdom. Thank You for I stilling compassion in me and a desire for the entire truth in all situations. If only others had the same desire for the whole truth, then maybe I would not have to write and send what may be the hardest letter that I will ever have to write and send to someone who needs to recognize and know the truth and then will have to be open to responding in kind. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Be Bold!

Isaiah 41:11-13 - Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." 

Isaiah 41:13 (ICB) - I am the Lord your God. I am holding your right hand. And I tell you, "Don't be afraid. I will help you."

Hebrews 12:1-2 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Dear God, You said You would be right there with me no matter what comes my way. In these passages I see that You will in fact somehow work things out, though maybe not the way anyone expects, with regard to Tom Patton and those other bullies from his church (Gordon, Mark, Mikki, and Ken). I know that it means the presbytery has to decide on its approach to things as well, but if You already know how to handle the situation, then I will have to put aside my worry and my fear like You ask of me and trust that they have wisdom enough to pull a committee together to help with the resolution no matter what the resolution may look like in the end. Ultimately, my heart desires to show the grace that I was taught about, though never given by them at that church because true grace wouldn't exclude people from any aspect of any activity of the church as long as the activity is age-appropriate and gender-appropriate and true grace especially would never grab onto a person's diagnosis of autism and use it as an excuse to exclude the person - that's outright discrimination anyway. But alas, grace prevails and I want to give them one more chance, it just cannot be under their terms and conditions the way they want to insist. It is I, who is in control, well, technically You are in control, but You put the reins in my hand in how to best approach things now. And You are asking me to keep my eyes on the prize the whole way through. The prize in this particular case is full restoration with Tom (including Facebook, which he had no justification to violate his compromise or promises regarding) and resolution and restoration with his church where my TRUE friends really are because the fact is that my TRUE friends loved me before my diagnosis and still love me and still have not found justification for the church leadership to abuse and bully and mistreat and exclude me the way it has. Lord, give me strength facing the next few days between now and when the presbytery meets. Give me strength for whatever decision they make and wisdom to know what to do from that point. May it be a favorable decision though that moves forward into a conflict resolution process since that is the very thing You command us to do to start with (II Corinthians 13:11 and Romans 12:9-21). Oh, and God, I have three more requests if that is okay? 1. For the letter to make the appointment regarding the exact amount of assistance to come soon (attorney's letter said within 30-45 days). You brought me through a long and strenuous process. 2. Physical healing. My throat feels really sore and achy, considerably more so than yesterday. 3. Mom to get out of her funk and start the process of looking for a new job rather than just sitting at home complaining about having to save every penny we can because we have less money now and have all the bills coming in that have to be taken care of. It sucks that she got fired over a misunderstanding and that the supervisor was not more clear about her instructions or the question posed to her more clear because of definitions that even I would have probably said the same thing. No she did not take files home, but she took folders home that would be able to make files. She was handed the things at the very last minute as the supervisors were rushing them out the door because of the weather that was already deteriorating. A folder is not a file until there is a label on it and information in it. They should have been more specific about their question. She did not lie. She answered the question honestly based on her understanding of it. And as honest as I am (brutally honest), I would have answered the same way. Because the difference in meaning is very sharp. Now God, I have a thank You, and although some people might disagree, I know that it is within Your will because ultimately, it is You who appoints all authority under heaven, but thank You for the Affordable Care Act. It may be confusing as heck right now, but it is a good and a right step forward in this country. It removes illegal discrimination by insurance companies which now lets the people who most need insurance the insurance and the key to access the same affordable care that others have enjoyed for so long (the Americans with Disabilities Act says that covered individuals have that right, but when an insurance company is allowed to charge them more or deny them or drop them, they are acting in violation of that law). Some people will find every reason they can to complain: they don't like the president because he is of a different color, they don't like him because he is so progressive thinking, they don't like him because he's "socialist" or "communist" (oh, please, if he is socialist by the way they describe him because he wants to help the poor and the sick rather than the rich and the healthy, then he is doing what Jesus would do and says everyone is to do according to Matthew 25:31-46 and a whole lot better than Tom's church which failed to exercise grace with me and excluded me because I have autism; and if he was a communist, then the people running around bad-mouthing him or the laws being made right now would be in jail; and if he was a dictator, they would be beheaded). They have even assumed that the president is a Muslim (he has said repeatedly that he is not and why would his religion matter anyway since Kennedy was a Catholic). In Romans 13:1-7, You are clear what the Christian duty to government is. Throughout both the Old and New Testaments, I read about how the government takes care of the needs of the people. To hear Christians in particular bad-mouthing the president, the ACA, and oh yeah, taxes (I will never see a penny of my tax dollars because people are getting assistance and they are all just lazy moochers (yeah, great, so the veteran who served this country for you to be an ungrateful pig is lazy, and the elderly who worked all their lives and earned their retirement is just lazy, and the disabled person who can no longer work and can barely function outside the home is just lazy, and the hard working mom made single by war or some other circumstance is just lazy, or the couple who has one working and the other serving as a caregiver to the children who have disabilities is just lazy), or the church should be taking care of these people not the government (by the way, those people need not leave their houses anymore because tax dollars are used for the roads, the schools, the police and fire departments as well as social programs designed to help people whom are often even referred to them by churches!)), but to hear so-called Christians spewing these things makes me angry. Oh, God, give me the courage and the strength to not back down where not backing down is required and the wisdom to know when backing down is necessary. Give me the grace to be able to show to those who may not even deserve it (Tom and his church), so that if nothing else, they see You and not me shining through. In Jesus' Name, Amen!