Stay on the High Road with God

Micah 6:8 - He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Ephesians 2:10 - For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

Dear God, my path is my path and no one else's nor is anyone else's path my path. For those times when churches or other people say that I need to deviate from my path, help me to never go astray and to learn to stand up for justice, kindness, and humbleness. No one should ever make me feel ashamed to be different just as I should never shame anyone for being different. Thank You for valuable lessons. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Cinderella

I had the privilege of seeing Cinderella Saturday as a part of a new movement in the Birmingham area to bring more sensory friendly films to families with special needs. First, what is a sensory film? A sensory film is one in which the sound is a little softer and the lights are not turned all the way off. It allows for us sensory seekers to get up and move and engage more as needed. Now, why Cinderella on a post about my journey through theology which has its ups and downs? Because Cinderella is what some may call redemptive. Be brave and stay strong and courageous. God tells His people this a lot in the scriptures. He tells us to be brave and fight for justice in this world. What is justice when it comes to human relations? Justice is standing up against any and all oppression, whether it is someone who is abused because they are different or because their life circumstances are worse than someone else's. Justice stands up and advocates for the least of these, many of whom do not have the voice to do so themselves. One of our moments to stand up for justice is when we see that someone is being mistreated. Do we turn our backs on them for fear of what might happen to us or do we say, "hey, that's not right! Now stop!" And stand with the one being oppressed? One of my favorite news stories that has recirculated this past week is about the cheerleader with Down syndrome, who when bullied, had the entire team quit playing and rally around her. 

Another lesson presented in Cinderella is that of hardship. Here, we have a young girl who faced hardship. First, the death of her mother, then her father, then an abusive stepmother. I love the presentation of the stepmother in this presentation of Cinderella though. She was essentially misunderstood because she faced her own hardships as well. Although I still hate that Cinderella was mistreated while the daughters were treated like queens in the home. But in the face of hardship, what did Conderella do? This is what stands out a lot as well.

Fairy godmothers. Oh, how I wish! There is not a fairy godmother in real life nor is God is some "sky fairy." God allows us to go through hard things in life and sometimes it is to strengthen us and prepare us for bigger things. Like when He totally breaks us and then speaks to us in scriptures in order for us to turn around and teach others through what we have learned. Some people will not take too kindly to this, but others will have AHA! moments. I am now an advocate for others, who like me, face hardships because of their differences. And one of my opportunities is this week as I travel to meet with some state leaders to discuss issues that we face, especially in adulthood. 

The most beautiful element to me in the whole Cinderella film? Not the blue ball gown which was stunning, but the moment when as she was walking out the door of the home she had grown up in, she turned around to face her stepmother who was on the staircase to say, "I forgive you" and the stepmother then basically collapses on the stairs. That was also the most powerful moment. It was the moment that defined whether Cinderella would live in bitterness as she moved to the next chapter in her life or whether she would be able to put everything behind her. It is a moment I long for with each and every person and circumstance in life and it is one that I have not arrived at just yet. I expect there will be remnants that will creep back up and stab me in my heart. And as I work through those remnants, I will be faced with bittersweet choices and opportunities. I will find during those moments that either people will be supportive or they will be spiteful. But in that scene, I saw God as He relates to His children. God turning to us and saying, "I forgive you dear child. Now what will you do with that?" 

Oh, God, as I, and many others, have our Cinderella moments in life, work through us and help us, strengthen us, help us overcome, no, not overcome, help us rose above the hardships that life presents us. For only through You and Your love and. Your tender mercy, do we even stand a chance at standing up against the injustices that keep being tossed in our directions. Thank You for using a film to help teach a hard lesson. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

The Gift of Your Time

Psalm 21:6 - For you make him most blessed forever; you make him glad with the joy of your presence.

Psalm 21:6 (ICB) - You always gave him blessings. You made him glad because you were with him.

Psalm 103:6-14 - The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever.mhe does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions form us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.

John 7:38 - "Whoeevr believes in me,mas the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'"

Dear God, help me to always give You the gift of my time. It is the least I can do considering how much You do and have done for me even though I have not always recognized it. God, I was really moved by the passage in Psalm 103 today. When I write my letter, help me evidence willingness to do just that with Tom. When he receives it and reads it and responds to it, help him to do the same. If he is really one of Your children, he will. Because he always did that before the lies he bought when the conflict arose, the conflict that could have ended differently had he just talked with me like he knew he should have done to start with but did not do. He knew better but he didn't do what he knew he should have done. But I am being called to more, by You, to take the initiative now. Because You have not let me forget and You have melted the bitterness toward him that resulted from what he did. You are not asking me to release him if he fails to show repentance and evidence a desire to be forgiven, but You are asking me to offer him the opportunity and a chance. And that is all a human can do. Willingness is better than nothing at all. It is his choice whether he wants it or not. Thank You God for all that You teach me during our time together. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Watch to See What I Will Do

Micah 7:7 - But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

Micah 7:7 - But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Dear God, I am glad that You often forgive and overlook and use the mistakes in life. And You actually let people make mistakes yet never stop loving them. First mistake with Tom and he turned into an ugly, hateful monster who didn't follow Your command to seek peace and restoration. First mistake with his church and they never let go of it and never showed the grace they claim to practice. And for what is worth, autism is not a mistake and neither am I. They degraded and devalued me as a person. They made mistakes yet they failed to own up to them and they blamed me for their mistakes. God, You are gracious and loving and forgiving and just and merciful and wise. You care about me. You would never hurt me like Tom did. And I know You want for Tom and I to talk. I know You want me to write that letter and offer him the grace You have given me and give him that chance. And I know You want me to offer his counterparts the same opportunity. Thank You for Your loving kindness. In Jesus' Name, Amen! 

You Are More by Tenth Avenue North (YouTube)

There's a girl in the corner

With tear stains on her eyes

From the places she's wandered

And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here? 

I'm not who I once was.

And I'm crippled by the fear

That I've fallen too far to love."

But don't you know who you are,

What's been done for you? 

Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems that you create,

You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it

That she's been given new life

But she can't shake the feeling

That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers

And she's rehearsed all the lines

And so she'll try to do better

But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,

But what's been done for you.

This is not about where you've been,

But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel, 

But He felt to forgive you,

And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You've been remade

You've been remade.

You've been remade.

You've been remade.

No More Boring Days

Psalm 118:24 - This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Phillippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not worry about anything. But pray and ask God for everything you need. And when you pray, always give thanks. And God's peace will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. The peace that God gives is so great that we cannot understand it. (ICB)

Philippians 4:19 - And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Dear God, You say I am to pray and ask You for everything. And sometimes I wish You would just hurry and be more clear about things too. For I know that based on scripture, we are to aim for restoration with everyone, particularly those who are fellow believers. I know that we are to seek peace with one another, and we are to show grace and love and forgiveness and mercy and tenderness and even at times justice. And as much as I wish I could do that with Tom, he also needs to do the same with me. So I will simply ask this because it is in line with Your word, please bring about a conversation so that these things can be done in accordance to the scripture. I am worried because I don't know what will happen at the presbytery level, but I am going to try really hard to trust You on a level that is next to impossible for me to do that they will form the committee to help get to the bottom of things and maybe even to help truly resolve things. God, I will also ask for clarity of mind as I embark on a big challenge this year along with many others that I may not even know about yet in order to put together a book that will challenge and guide every church in America in the coming months and years. It is a book that I have been thinking about doing for a while, but until recently, I didn't understand just how much it was needed. But in response to The Reason I Jump, it is one that needs to happen. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Don't Worry by Rebecca St. James 

On the corner of Fifth and Broadway

I was walking to the grocery store on Third

I saw a man up on a box

He seemed a little unorthodox 

He was preaching up a storm

As I walked on by he said

Don't worry about your life

Cause if you hold it too close

You'll lose it

Don't worry about your life

So won't you let go

Before it's gone

A little further on I saw a beggar on the street

He asked for change and then gave me his life story

Says he was a millionaire, made some bad decisions there

Now a dollar fifty could feed him for a week

And he said

Don't worry about your life

Cause if you hold it too close

You lose it

Don't worry about your life

So won't you let go

Before it's gone

Then I see the birds 

I watch them fly

They've got everything they need

They show me why I can be free

Knowing You will care for me

Finally at the grocery store

My mind is filled with many thoughts 

As I bump into a girl I knew from high school

She said, "What's different about you girl?"

And I smiled and said, "This is what I know is true

And I'll pass it right along to you"

Don't worry about your life

Cause if you hold it too close you lose it

Don't worry about your life

So won't you let go before it's gone

Offer of Good Faith

I publicly make this offer of good faith and it is now up to him to make amends beyond this. I have tried to extend the very grace that was not extended to me. But if Tom Patton will reinstate Facebook by December 10 (he made a compromise then ended up breaking his end without justification even though I had in fact kept my end until after he broke his end) and have ONE conversation so we can clear the air, then I will retract, delete, and even apologize for the things I have said since he broke the compromise and broke the biggest and most important promise he has ever made to me. 

The thing is, he has spread falsehoods about me, and it has cost me dearly, not only with the church which has also spread some falsehoods via misinterpretation or misunderstanding, but in the community at large. However, if he reinstates me and talks with me so I can get the answers I need that only he can provide, nothing further will happen and despite the fact that I have only posted the truth, I will retract and delete it. 

We have tried to extend grace to them and they have not done the same for me. 

Right now, the most gracious thing I could do has been done and is being done. I didn't want to do it, but Tom broke his end of the compromise without justification and without explanation, so I had to do it. Not out of retaliation, but out of love. 

The most gracious thing he or that church leadership could do and should do right now is to place me under the proper order of church discipline. Believe it or not. But I am tired of them not doing what is biblically correct and acting against the BCO.

Tom could very well have said okay let's talk. He could very well of left the friendship intact on Facebook, and I would not have had to go to the proper authority about it. He could have done that and I would have never have had to report it. But he didn't. So I did.

Where is the grace? The mercy? The justice? The love? The forgiveness? 

When Tom broke the compromise, he repeated the pain I suffered when my own birth father disowned me. And it's a pain that I can NEVER recover from. 

NOTHING dictated that he sever the Facebook friendship. I had done everything right. I didn't do anything to warrant it. I kept my end of the compromise. I have witnesses. But he still broke the compromise. As a result, the truth came out.

When the shepherd lost just one sheep, he left the others to go in search of it. That's what a true shepherd does. But Tom threw the sheep under the bus. He then spread falsehoods about it. And to make things worse, he then threw it out the window. The sheep has been battered and abused. And Jesus has been hurt because this particular sheep has a handicap. 

Jesus is unwelcome in that place because one of the least of these was bullied. Instead of sticking up for what is right, and Tom knew what is right and acknowledged their wrong, he joined the bullies. It saddens me. 

When leaders don't apply scriptures equally and repeatedly target an individual and bully and abuse the individual, they bring down the entire organization to a very dark and corrupt level that God cannot stand. 

Power. It's often a power hunger that causes it. There are a lot of interesting articles pertaining to the bullies of church leadership. 

Abuse. When instead of exercising the biblical principles of conflict resolution, they either ignore it or do what they did to me, that's corruption as well. Often also due to being power hungry.

Destruction of friendships. Power hungry bullies who want to control everyone under them will do what it takes to destroy relationships. They are usually jealous of the friendships. 

But here's my prayer:

That Tom and I do get the needed meeting and that the Facebook friendship will be restored. 

That somehow a meeting with the church will take place so that all the misunderstandings which were made abundantly clear by Tom's own actions can be cleared. 

Grace is a beautiful thing once you start grasping it and desiring what I want and need like this. I just wish they would extend the grace they say they believe in. 

Justice. It's definitely a desire for justice. And justice by the world's standards say that I should forget trying to extend grace to Tom or even them and just bring action. But justice by God's standards say that I am to extend grace. What grace looks like right now is exactly what I am doing, have been doing since he broke the compromise, and will continue to do until things are made right. 

Holiday hope. It's all I got right now.