I Am Waiting

Isaiah 30:15-17 - For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." But you were unwilling, and you said, "No! We will flee upon horses"; therefore you shall flee away; and, "We will ride upon swift steeds"; therefore your pursuers shall be swift. A thousand shall flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you shall flee, till you are left like a flagstaff on the top of a mountain, like a signal on a hill.

II Corinthians 4:7 - But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 

Dear God, I want to trade with You today. Here is my heartache and my sadness and my anxiety and my fear. Please fill me with Your joy, Your love, Your peace, Your strength and Your confidence so I can make it through the busy day and the busy week ahead of me. Thank You. In Jesus's Name, Amen!

Shhh...Be Still

II Chronicles 16:9 - For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars. 

Psalm 23:2-3 - He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Zechariah 2:13 - Be silent, all flesh, before the Lord, for he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.

Dear God, I am trying to find You. And the world is too busy and too loud. Even in the silence, the world can be so deafening. Help me to hear You. And please hear me too. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Don't Be Tricked

I Corinthians 13:13 - So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

II Corinthians 4:18 - ...as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Ephesians 3:20-21 - Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Dear God, According to this, You are most definitely sovereign. But it seems that we, as humans, often forget this fact. If only we would rest in Your sovereignty then maybe we might actually stand a fighting chance against all that is evil and against Your word. By that, I don't mean that we call a president names or speak ugly about him just because we might disagree with something he does. God, please bless President Obama as I know that he has been trying to bring America back to You through actions of trying to make sure that those who most need assistance have it. Healthcare for one. It seems that in light of everything that has been happening in America, people, including those who claim to be Christians, have forgotten You and what Your purpose for our lives really is. They have allowed color to blind them and their integrity. They have shown that racism is still very much alive in America. And they have proven that greed is abundant in their attitude toward poor and sick people. They do not want to make sure that everyone has food or healthcare because they think that people are just lazy. But that is simply not the truth at all. If it were not for taxes, there truly might not be any charity at all in America. Americans are greedy. I know. I am an American, and it is hard for me to want to part with whatever little bit of money I might have. When a church discriminates against someone because that person has special needs and then they go so far as to even say comply with our discrimination against you, give us permission to abuse you more than we already have or else we will not show you any mercy no matter what the situation, it proves how greedy and how corrupt and how vile churches have even become when it comes to people in need. It breaks my heart. Faith, hope, and love. They are eternal. But sometimes it is hard to keep them when people keep knocking you down and beating up on you and bruising your spirit. Help me God to keep them strong though. Help me this next week to finish the letter and the chart to go with it. Help me to actually send it. Help me not be afraid and to keep trusting You. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

What Is Autism?

Autism is a processing disorder. Well, I don't know that I would call it a disorder anymore, now that the latest statistics are out. It seems that autism is more prevalent than what was originally though. And I know many people that seem like they have tendencies that are similar to autism. So let me back up. Autism is a different way of processing things. Let me try it this way.

You have a PC. I have a Mac (not yet, but I will one day). The bottom line operating system, though both might be able to run windows, the hardware is different. So they have to have programs that are compatible with their hardware. They now have Word for both PC and Mac. They are more compatible now than they used to be. But the platform on which they run is different. 

Okay, another example. 

Define glove. You would probably be satisfied to say it is a covering for the hand. But my filing cabinet in my brain says, what kind of glove? I have it broken down by function. By the generalized definition, I now have a mismatch. A mitten covers the hand, but it is not a glove. An oven mitt covers the hand, but it is not a glove. My blanket can cover my hand. Does that make my blanket a glove? No.... It is a blanket. Maybe a better way to define glove is something that covers the hand for some purpose but it has fingers. My mom said a baseball mitt would not be a glove. I said there are fingers inside of it. It is also sometimes called a baseball glove. But that is one of the ways that my brain is different than your brain.

Here is something I have heard a lot, but this morning I heard it again. If you see a person in a wheelchair, you know they need a ramp. But the problem is, you cannot see autism. Therefore, it is hard to know that someone is having trouble and how to help them. But I want to give an example based on something I experienced. This church sent me for testing to see if I had autism. Of course, that also meant they received a copy of the report. After they learned that I have autism, I got bullied by two of the people who were on the care team they placed me under. And they intentionally began to exclude me from participating in things rather than to find ways to include me. They used the autism as an excuse to exclude me. They used the autism as an excuse to isolate me. It was like they were afraid that the autism might be contagious or something. The one man said they tried to say they were trying to mainstream me and that it failed. No.... Excluding someone is not mainstreaming them. Therefore, attempts to mainstream me did not fail because there were no attempts to mainstream me. Mainstream means to include with or without reasonable accommodations. An accommodation for a person with autism might be as simple as a buddy. Someone who is identified and appointed as a person in an activity who can be trusted to not only understand about the way autism might impact the individual but also interaction with others and can run interference should a problem arise by assisting in appropriately removing the person from the setting that is becoming upsetting and taking them to a calming place. What they should have done rather than what they did was to talk to me about what I wanted or needed and not exclude me from anything. What he should have done when he recognized and acknowledged that what they were doing was wrong was stand up and say hey, wait a minute, we need to regroup and problem solve. But you see, too often, most places are doing it wrong. They do not SEE the autism or the ADHD or whatever other invisible handicap or disability exists and they either pass us over or they ignore us or they pretend we don't exist. Or they go the other way and they bully us until we get frustrated enough to give up. But the thing is, we canNOT give up or they will continue to bully us thinking that it is okay for them to do so because no one stood up against them for doing it. 

People with autism do not lack empathy. This is a common assumption that is made. We have empathy. We may not understand from the cognitive perspective why someone feels something, but we do feel what others feel. Remember my filing cabinet? That is where I have everything stored. If I have experienced it, it is in there. It is my reference for how to respond or react or handle things. If I am missing something then it is because no one has helped me acquire the right tool yet or the right data. I am supposed to start using signals. Signals to help people know when I have had enough. Because sometimes when I become overloaded, I cannot think clearly and therefore I cannot verbalize things well. Those signals are sometimes called cues. And sometimes I need a lot of cues.

I will ask this question a lot because I am in anticipation that by the time I send my letter that is overdue that I will have enough resources to share with the recipient(s) that they can and will end up saying yes to having a meeting to talk through things and to negotiate restoration and reconciliation. But what is your church doing to intentionally reach out to people like me who may be isolated in our very own communities because people do not understand autism or do not seem to want to understand autism? If they are not doing something, they need to. Matthew 25:31-46 is the main justification for being intentional in ministry and support to people like me and my mother who also has autism. After all, Jesus spent most of His time with the sick and the poor, so should not the churches also be doing that?

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. It is everywhere. Some countries are not in as good of a position to get support systems in place. And America is lacking in support systems for adults with autism. It needs to change fast because the children will be transitioning into adults and will still need support.

When God Created the Autistic Child

God took His time on the last day of creation. 

You see He had something very special in mind.

Unlike all the other creatures He had made, He decided He needed someone like Himself.

So He created man. 

But when He saw how lonely the man was, He had to act fast.

So He created woman.

But what most people don't know is that He created someone very special after that.

At some point in time, God got very frustrated that things were not going as planned.

So He cried. For forty days. 

That was the flood.

Shortly after that, one of the children that was conceived was created differently.

For this child needed to be one that God Himself could approve.

He created the child with musical gifting, bravery, courage, and a good heart.

This was the first child with autism.

Music gave him a voice as did his poetry.

His bravery killed a giant and saved a nation.

His courage kept him going even during the times he felt most sad and lonely.

And he most definitely was considered a man after God's own heart.

Is it possible that there were other children before this one who God created with autism?

Sure it is. But I chose this one.

Just as God chose to create some of us with pure hearts, innocence, love, beauty, giftedness, and an inner song, I chose David as an example of what God does when He chooses to create a child with autism.

I posed this question today in light of April being Autism Awareness Month. For one month, the whole world spreads awareness about autism. The numbers have increased again. And again, the numbers do not account for adults with autism, although it is very likely, the numbers would be the same for that particular age group. But those of us who have autism or have loved ones with autism have to spread awareness every day - 365 days a year - because we live with it. So I posed a question: What is your church doing to intentionally minister to and with an individual or a family faced with autism? And more so, an adult with autism? Is your church reaching out to them? If not, please change that now. I challenge anyone reading this to search his or her heart and to go back to his or her church leaders before it is too late. I say this because I was hurt by a church as soon as they got back the report that I have autism. And it is not fair what they did to me. And I do not want it to happen to anyone else ever again, whether it is there or somewhere else. I feel sad and lonely and hurt and frustrated and angry about it. I should be at church with my friends worshipping God just like everyone else and serving God just like everyone else. Not isolated and punished because of how God created me. I should still have my friend that is one of the pastors because he was the one who understood the autism and the way it impacted me and others the most and he was reaching in the most to pull me out so I could grow and shine. Oh how wonderful it would be if he would reach out a hand in forgiveness to me in light of what Jesus did for us on the cross! And how wonderful it would be if they would be wiling to meet with me and move toward biblical reconciliation for the same reason. 

Do I know for sure that David had autism? No. But I know that most people with autism tend to be a lot like David and Moses and Noah and Adam and Jesus too. I always say God must have autism. 

1 in 68 children are diagnosed with autism everyday or it may still be 1 in 88 overall. Either way, God must have a reason for us to have autism. After all God is sovereign, right? 

Getting Rid of the Weeds

II Corinthians 4:17 - For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison....

Philippians 4:19 - And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Dear God, I want that peace that You offer. I want that joy, that inexplicable joy, that I cannot necessarily describe. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Yes, Everything

Proverbs 3:6 - In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

I Thessalonians 5:17 - Pray without ceasing....

Dear God, I do not have words to express things today. Please listen to my heart. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!