Psalm 27:14 (ICB) - Wait for the Lord's help. Be strong and brave and wait for the Lord's help.
John 14:1 - "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me."
Hebrews 6:13-20 - For when God made a promise to Abraham, since he had no one greater by whom to swear, he swore by himself, saying, "Surely I will bless you and multiply you." And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise. For people swear by something greater than themselves, and in all their disputes an oath is final for confirmation. So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.
Dear God, Faith begins with TRUST. Trust is hard God. Really hard. Look at what happened with Tom. I trusted him to keep his promises. But he broke every single one of them in a moment when grace was most needed. Because he believed lies. Which he spread. Which severed some vital relationships. Which severed all chances I might have ever had at having friendships, church, and a job. In one moment where he had a chance to stand up against what he knew and acknowledged to be wrong, he failed and he allowed the abuse and the bullying to happen. And then he became the a user and the bully as a result. Trust? I trusted him because he said I could, and then he broke it when grace was most needed. He broke YOUR word God. He violated YOUR commands. And worse, the presbytery did too. And that really makes me angry and hurt because they know about the abuse that happened there and they did nothing and won't do anything. Which means MORE people will be abused, especially more people like me because Oak Mountain HATES YOU God or they would make effort to correct their wrongdoings and to listen about why what they did is wrong and take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again to others. So if Tom earned my trust and then broke it so badly, how can I truly trust YOU God? How can I trust You even though I want to and long to? I can't see You God and I can't hear Your voice God like I can with someone who has flesh. What can You do to help me KNOW that YOU CAN be trusted? WAIT? God, I need You to move. If the biggest proof that I can trust You might be found in You bringing about the much needed conversation with Tom either so there can be restoration or there can be closure I need in order to move forward, how much longer are You going to make me suffer before You make it happen? It has already been too long and I have to make a decision based on statute of limitations. Wait with HOPE? I have done nothing but hope God. And nothing has happened yet. Except for ONE thing and even that didn't lead to restoration or closure. That may have brought some financial relief for my family, but not a lot. We need a miracle for that to happen. Those words are NOT so little God. They are HUGE when everytime I have practice with them, someone DESTROYS all progress. But God, I will try this week to exercise those with You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!