Thursday, October 1, 2015

Worship Him Only

Isaiah 55:8-9 - For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

I Timothy 6:13-16 - I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time–he who is blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen.

Revelation 2:4 - "But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first."

Dear God, thank You for grace. Thank You for rest. Thank You for having higher ways and thoughts than I can even comprehend. I had a rough day all around yesterday. I found out someone tried to ruin my life over something they likely misinterpreted and that they had called one of many volunteer places to try to smear my reputation. The slander is indeed very hurtful and very sad. To stoop so low like that. The plus side is that they did not get away with it as they chose to be anonymous with their claim. I am highly doubtful that it was a friend of mine though as all of my friends who know me well enough know that I have autism and that I sometimes lack social graces and conventions. They know they can ignore what I have said, clarify what I have said, or distance themselves from me. If it was a stranger, it was probably one I already blocked for being a bully on another media page. Some people seem to think that they have the right to an opinion but that no one else does. In my rising advocacy, I am going to run into people who will hate me. I read Matthew 10 yesterday after I cooled off a little from that report about what happened. I learned that if I will endure this, what that mentally sick person did to try to harm me and my livelihood, that I will be saved from the persecution. They may drag me through hell, but they will not win. I am out there in my community trying to THRIVE and trying to give back to my community which has blessed me beyond words despite of my autism, and the haters are going to hate, but they are NOT going to win. You are the good and kind and perfect judge. And I will leave that enemy that did that malicious thing to Your hands. Vengeance is YOURS. Not mine. If it was a friend, though, help me figure out who it was so I can remove them from my life. I do not need friends who try to destroy me or bring me down. God, help my love for You to never grow lukewarm. I want my love to always be real and genuine just like it is for my mom and my true friends. God, on another note that I need to turn over to You, I had the crushing notice that my really good insurance plan will be cancelled at the end of the year, right when we are finally getting some things figured out at that. It is not just an inconvenience, it is not right. It is an injustice. The third thing I need to turn over to You is the fact my doctor made a promise and then retracted on his promise to help me get the treatment I actually need. So I will pray that you will give my allergist/immunologist the ears to really truly hear my concerns about my immune system crashing and that You will give him the wisdom to consider a trial run of infusions for me for just a short time so we can see if they would help. I want my quality of life back. What little bit of life I may left. If not, may we see what our first and last vacation might be and then may You allow me dignity in the time I have remaining on this earth. I am scared, God. I am tired. I am tired of being sick all the time. I am exhausted. And I am turning everything over to You and putting everything into Your hands. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

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