Jeremiah 31:3 - Thus says the Lord: "The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."
I Peter 2:9 - But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
I Peter 2:9 (NLT) - But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God.
Dear God, thank You for unending love. Help me show others the same unending love You have for me. Even Tom. And in doing that, help him remember how he is supposed to act if he truly is a Christian. With forgiveness, love, and compassion. He used to say the reason he forgave so easily is because he was forgiven much. But in the one moment when he needed to be the most forgiving, he was not even a Christian. He misinterpreted a lot of things and instead of listening to me to find out the truth, he spread lies that were not true. Instead of working through conflict, he violated Your word. And the leadership at his church violated their stupid discriminating and abusive document that they wanted me to sign agreeing to allow them to keep abusing me. Sadly, Tom abused me when he did those things. And according to Your word, Tom is not a Christian. Nor are most of the leaders at that church. They did not evidence You when they abused me. Yet You are asking me to reach out in grace. To Tom. And to give him a chance to hopefully prove me wrong in accordance with Your word. Soften his heart if You really want me to do this, God. Open his heart and his mind and prepare him for the truth. The truth hurts, and he will not like that he will learn that he was an idiot for ignoring it and for not listening to me so he would know the truth. He assumed things that were not true. For one thing, it was never him that the post was about, but someone else. The guy I was crushing on. But had Tom only listened he would have known. Now grant I was also upset with Tom that day, but the upset with him was directed at him. It was not posted. But he assumed the post was about him. And he never said he was upset about the post or I could have told him when he had called angry about me being frustrated with him or even when he called if he had called again as he had promised. Tom did a lot of things that contributed to the conflict - he assumed things that were not accurate. Unfortunately, his actions have helped me understand why people say, "You know what happens when you ASSume things?" Yeah. Tom certainly did that. And all it would have taken was a conversation. Now I know what You mean when You say the truth will set you free. Telling the truth in the letter will hopefully not only set me free, but it will hopefully open Tom's eyes and maybe he will come to his senses and go back with the truth to those hateful little men at his church. If nothing else, maybe he will at least reach out to me and evidence You in his life, if You are in his life. Oh, and God, please, right now, I need healing. And financial provision. $3000 for hearing aids. Insurance does not seem to think adults need to be able to hear. Without being able to hear, I cannot work. Oh, and please, if You do not mind, make that day camp program that I am supposed to go to once a week and help with once a week go better. It was boring and stressful that one day I went so far. It turns out that boredom is something else that can add stress to my life! Especially when it is supposed to be something full of scheduled activities. Who knew that boredom could create stress? And please heal me from the blackberry juice overload. Mom sure got a laugh from that one. But I am sure uncomfortable from it. As I told her, "I went from one extreme to the other!" My stomach needs a balance. And I am hoping it is not another stomach bug that might end up with me having another IV. God, I cannot mention these two by name, but I have a couple of friends needing Your comfort right now. One just had to make the decision about a very old cat. And I know the pain she is going through as I did that about 8 years ago with an 18-year-old cat myself. May Peaches rest in peace. And I can hardly believe Katie is almost 8! And I may have to make that decision again soon with my deaf dog, Molly Jean, who is starting to show signs of aging. At almost 15, she is getting less able to fetch the ball. The second friend of mine may have divorce in the near future and has two young ones, one of which has autism. And I know that titles hard. Not that I have been married, but I saw my own father walk out on my family. He could no longer handle having what he considered to be a broken child or a broken wife. Of course, I think he got bitten back for that one, but I don't really care. God, give me wisdom and the words I need to write that letter to Tom. It looks like at this point, the direction You are steering me will be with Tom, and not the church. Although he will get the one for them as well, but will likely have instructions to only share it with them after he responds to me directly either by a meeting or a phone call or a letter or an e-mail or Facebook (which would require the biggest act of faith in You on his part, but would also give him the most freedom at the starting point). Prepare him for the truth. I now the reality stick hurts, but Rafiki means well when he bonks you upside the head with it. (Lion King.) Thank You God for clearer direction. And thank You for choosing and for loving me. In Jesus' Name, Amen!