Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Psalm 45

Your Throne, O God, Is Forever

My heart overflows with a pleasing theme; I address my verses to the king; my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe. 

You are the most handsome of the sons of men; grace is poured upon your lips; therefore God has blessed you forever. Gird your sword on your thigh, O mighty one, in your splendor and majesty! In your majesty ride out victoriously for the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness; let your right hand teach you awesome deeds! Your arrows are sharp in the heart of the king's enemies; the peoples fall under you. 

Your throne, O God, is forever and ever. The scepter of your kingdom is a scepter of righteousness; you have loved righteousness and hated wickedness. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions; your robes are all fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia. From ivory palaces stringed instruments make you glad; daughters of kings are among your ladies of honor; at your right hand stands the queen in gold of Ophir.

Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear: forget your people and your father's house, and he king will desire your beauty. Since he is your lord, bow to him. The people of Tyre will seek your favor with gifts, the richest of the people. 

All glorious is the princess in her chamber, with robes interwoven with gold. In many-colored robes she is led to the king, with her virgin companions following behind her. With joy and gladness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king.

In place of your father's shall be your sons; you will make them princes in all the earth. I will cause your name to be remembered in all generations; therefore nations will praise you forever and ever. 

Dear God,

What would You have me learn from this passage? There is pain. Much much pain. Pain I cannot fathom or even come close to understanding. I am broken this week. I am seeking. I have no answers. I have no bad news either. But I have no answers. I am afraid. God, I am turning it all over to You and asking again that You keep intervening on behalf of the least of these with regard to healthcare and budgets. God, help us who have pain and fears. 

Thank You.

In Jesus' Name, 

Amen

Sunday, March 12, 2017

No Surprises

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:34

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." - Luke 4:18-19

"Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them." - Isaiah 42:9

Dear God, 

The future belongs to You and You know what is in the future. I do not need to worry because of that, but it is hard not to. God, You know what my worries and fears are right now. Please intervene.

Thank You.

In Jesus' Name, 

Amen


Thursday, March 2, 2017

Love and Peace

"Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you." - II Corinthians 13:11

"The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms. And he thrust out the enemy before you and said, Destroy." - Deuteronomy 33:27

"So God created man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

Dear God,

You are the God of love and peace. I need Your love. Wrap me in Your love. Take my worries and fears. Hold me tight in Your arms. Help me to love others the way You love me. You created all of us in Your image. Forgiving will bring me peace.

Thank You.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen


Wednesday, January 18, 2017

While You Wait

"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." - Lamentations 3:25 

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11 

Dear God, 

Where are You right now? We have people hurting and people who are terrified of the immediate future ahead in light of the Trump-tastrophe that is about to take off full speed ahead. What the heck have the republicans done to our country? What happened to the compassion for others, the empathy? Why do they take such glee in the fact that because of their stupidity people will die from losing insurance access to healthcare or that they will become homeless and bankrupt? Why do they just not care? What has happened that they dare call themselves Christians yet act with such hatred and ignorance and selfishness? Your plans are to give me hope and a good future, but I am really struggling to see how that is possible right now. God, reveal Yourself. Please. 

Thank You.

In Jesus' Name, 

Amen

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Untangling the Knots

Psalm 34:19 - Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

Isaiah 41:8-10 - But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, "You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off"; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for it am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Dear God, please untangle the knots that gather in my mind. The worries, the fears, the anxieties. My biggest worry right now being these republican candidates who are making me worried that I will lose my healthcare insurance. I thought that the worry would be over after the last election, but they just will not let go of their stupid hatefulness toward the president. They are being hateful so they are trying to hurt everyone because of it. They do not listen. There are a whole lot of people in Alabama who have already been helped because of the ACA. More would have been helped if the stupid governor would not have blocked the expansion, but he flat out made it known that he would not expand because he does not like the president. Most of them are rich and white, too. But the thing that really makes it messed up? They are all claiming to be good Christians. Right.... So let me get this straight. Six rich, white men vying for one position for the Republican Party and they are all such good Christians that they hate the president and hate the poor and hate the disabled enough to destroy their lives by taking away their healthcare insurance? Hmmm..... What would Jesus do? Jesus would separate them into the goats because they did not take care of the least of these. I fought hard for the past eight years to get changes to the insurance industry, to get rid of the discrimination, to get rid of the worry that I would lose my insurance if I got sick again. The law fixed that. When Romney was campaigning and threatening to take away the very thing he already implemented in his state, that's right the ACA is a republican concept to start with and they are just mad because they are not the ones who had their rich, white guy win in order to pass it, I prayed through Matthew 25:31-46 because it was so personal and relevant for my life. I prayed the following before elections: "God, which of these candidates best exemplifies what You are saying in this passage?" And it went like this (based on Bob Flayhart's S.W.O.O.P. sermon given October 2012): Does this candidate best exemplify what it means to take care of the a)hungry, b)thirsty, c)stranger, d)naked, e)sick, and f)imprisoned? The questions ran straight through what is listed exactly as listed in that passage. Now some people want to twist that and say, "what about the unborn?" Do you see the unborn in that passage? Although I agree to some extent that the baby is a baby at conception, I do not agree that a baby can be oppressed because a baby is not a separate human being until they are born. During the nine months in the womb, the baby is protected. Unless something happens to go wrong otherwise. The extent of oppression to a baby in the womb is if the mother cannot carry full term for a variety of reasons. Because it is not listed in this passage and really not actually mentioned in the Bible except by assuming that it could possibly be deemed murder, but then what is it considered if the woman miscarried or has stillbirth at full term, it might be considered a grey area that would be legalistic to assert. But the unborn are not considered to be one of the least of these. Jesus was addressing the oppression of people who are alive but being mistreated. So let us just immediately look back at the list and cross unborn off. Period. It is not in the list. We are not adding words to God's words. Period. That is not something we are allowed to do. Going back to the list: Do any of the six republican candidates for my district exemplify taking care of the hungry? They have not addressed their viewpoints regarding SNAP, but chances are if they are republican then they support the cuts that Paul Ryan proposed. These cuts affect not only the poor, but the disabled, the veterans, the elderly, the working families, and even active duty families. So no. Do any of the six republican candidates for my district exemplify taking care of the thirsty? Same logic. Do any of the six republican candidates for my district exemplify taking care of the stranger? No. I am a stranger and they are not taking care of me with their tired old rhetoric of hate. Do any of the republican candidates for my district exemplify taking care of the naked? Probably not. Do any of the republican candidates for my district exemplify taking care of the sick? Well, I have a solid answer for that. NO! They are threatening to repeal the ACA which helps the sick obtain, secure, and keep insurance which is their ticket to having the same affordable access to healthcare that another law says they have the right to. The Americans with Disabilities Act says that a person covered by the ADA has the right to the same affordable healthcare that their non-disabled peers have. Well, they do not have equal access when insurance is allowed to charge them more, drop them, or deny them. The ACA got rid of the inequality and now these candidates want to take that away. Again. Still. They do not exemplify taking care of the sick! Mathis, Brooks, DeMarco, etc. Insert whatever republican name here. Do the republican candidates for my district exemplify taking care of the imprisoned? Depends on exactly whom Jesus was referring to, but since the original text states "when I was in prison," I will assume an actual prisoner in jail and not someone who is imprisoned by their unbelief or their body. I truly do not know. At any rate, at the first solid no answer, I might not continue to the question because as soon as you get a solid no, it is pretty obvious the correct choice is anyone other than whom you are asking about. I asked these questions about Romney and got a solid no at the first question. But I went ahead and gave benefit of the doubt and asked each question about him. My results for Romney were: no, no, no, no, no, and no. Why? Because of his 48% comment which gave a clear enough picture that even evangelical pastors preached sermons stating that conservatives who held that attitude needed to repent. Do you know who falls in the 48% of people who do not pay taxes? 1. Veterans do not pay taxes on their benefits that they earned. But many of them are also on SNAP, SSDI or SSI, and some of them also work which is where they do pay taxes. 2. Elderly retired people. 3. Disabled people who either get SSI or SSDI after a lot of denials and attorneys and court cases in front of judges that may or may not understand their disabilities. But even some of these work at least part time and pay taxes. 4. Children. 5. Middle class people with children. 6. This who make less than $4000 a year. 7. College students. Some of them work though, so again, they pay taxes unless it is a workstudy job. 8. Contract labor. Unless they make over $4000 a year. 9. Rich people who hide their money in overseas bank accounts. 10. Rich people who can afford to give to all kinds of charities thereby effectually writing off their tax obligation. When I asked the same questions of Obama, I got: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and I don't know. Look, to each his or her own when it comes to elections, but I would want to caution anyone voting for a candidate that attains a solid no at any point about the guilt by association? Could you be pushed into the goatherd? If you support a candidate who might be sorted into the goats because they are not taking care of any one of the categories of the least of these, could you also be sorted into the goats? Frankly, that is not something I want to find out. So I will not support any of them. I think they are immoral, and I know they are unethical. So anyway, God, that is my biggest worry laid out with how I overcome some of the stress of it. But God, I need You to help me untangle the rest. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Why I Don't Want or Need More Friends Right Now

Because I'm tired of being hurt. Especially by some of the ones I already have. Maybe it was not their intention to cause such hurt, but they did. I don't want more because more means more hurt.

Because I cannot handle a lot of people. I like the friends that I have and I am expanding my social connection by working hard to establish a community based social group that will hopefully incorporate volunteers from area churches who get right beside adults with special needs who are higher functioning. This approach would put adults with special needs right where we are expected to be-in society. It will also foster building natural mentoring relationships and friendships and build bridges between an underserved population that is ripe for the ministries to reach out to. 

Because it's too hard and too scary. Especially when schedules change so much that some friends become too busy to remain friends with me and we then lose the quality of the friendship which is what friendship should have regardless of who the person is. 

Tom told me the other day I need more friends. To some degree, I agree, but not if it means losing quality with the ones I already have and am already fostering. But it's because of what he said that I now feel really sad and hurt because it honestly feels like he doesn't want me anymore, and if that's true, if we lose the quality of the friendship we do have, I don't want to try anymore. I will gladly give up a lifetime of phone calls and texts with him to have quality time in the friendship with him.

He said tears can be good because they can reveal our heart's desire. My desire is to have what everyone else wants and needs: quality friendships. Friendships that don't need frequent phone calls or texts but rather one long phone call every so often and even once a month sit downs where the two (or three) talk, and that time is when the rest of the world amazingly stops so they can enjoy the conversation. 

He said he wants to set a good example of what healthy friendship, healthy relationship, and healthy marriage is like. So I'm asking him to step up to the plate and meet me halfway. By making my willingness to make substantial sacrifices so public, I am opening myself up to having others hold me accountable to my end. But he has to meet me in the middle. 

Because here's the thing, if he sets a good example by his actions for me, I can then turn around and do the same for others. And if I have success in that, then there is definitely still hope for me. 

And right now, these next two months, I need all the hope I can get. A lot of big things are happening and we need positive outcomes on as many of them as possible. 

But my tears are telling me I need a healthier friendship with Tom, one that has quality to it. After all, I have another friend who came along when he did, and she and I don't talk as much, but we do have quality.