Never Give Up!

Psalm 46:1-3 - God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

Luke 1:37 - For nothing will be impossible with God.

Romans 8:31 - What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Dear God, I am sorry if at times I seem impatient, but it's so hard to wait when other people are trying to stop everything about what you are trying to do because they don't understand or refuse to try to understand. Like with Tom. Instead of doing what he did the way that he did it, he should have talked with me and listened to my side. By him not doing that, he caused further damage and failed to show the grace and forgiveness and love and mercy and compassion and even justice that he had shown before. Over one meltdown at that. A meltdown that he did contribute to. And I ended up ultimately mirroring him. God, I'm reading the book The Reason I Jump by Naoki Higashida, the Japanese teenager with autism. And I am in tears because I see where Tom has screwed up so much with me, where I wish I could explain things to him and the others, where I wasn't even given the justice I deserve so that I could do just that, and where many others like me will always have difficulties as long as bullies exist at churches, schools, workplaces, and in the world and people who rather than stand up to the bullying end up becoming the bullies instead because they failed to stand against it even they knew it was wrong. Like Tom. God, please open the hearts and the minds of Tom, his church leaders, Birmingham area people, especially pastors, and the people who we need to help us along the journey of life. I wish You would hurry up sometimes though because our human minds cannot stand waiting when it feels like our entire life is depending on Your action. Like I do need the conversation with Tom, and You know that, but it's hard waiting any longer. In Jesus's Name, Amen!

Our God by Chris Tomlin (YouTube)

Water You turned into wine, opened the eyes of the blind

There's no one like You, none like You

Into the darkness You shine, out of the ashes we rise

There's no one like You, none like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

Into the darkness You shine, out of the ashes we rise

There's no one like You, none like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other 

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what could stand against

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what could stand against

What could stand against

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what could stand against

Then what can stand against

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God

Dare to Dream My Dream

Isaiah 40:30-31 - Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Romans 8:6 - To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

Ephesians 3:20-21 - Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. 

Revelation 5:13 - And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!"

Dear God, I want to believe that You are capable of doing far greater things than I can ever imagine, but it struggle because the needed conversation with Tom has yet to have happened. Here we are on the brink of higher authority having to decide how to handle things. And he has yet to even show signs of repentance. Never mind the fact that even if I wanted to prove repentance, that neither he nor his church would ever know because they violated the scripture and their own denominational rules with regard to church discipline. I know that the good Tom, the honest Tom, the loving and caring and compassionate Tom that I experienced so much love and grace through and even saw glimpses of You through is in there in his heart somewhere. But at this point, if that Tom doesn't surface soon, if the hardened heart Tom stays, then it will absolutely break my own heart to have to tell the higher authority that he is no longer fit to be in his position. And about the abuse I experienced at his church. But I guess in some ways that maybe this is all a part of Your plan because You don't like bullies in Your church either God, and You deal harshly with bullies. The tax collectors in the temple, the Pharisees, even at times, Your disciples and other favorite people had to be dealt with harshly because You don't like bullies. Bullies don't evidence You nor do they help the church to grow, especially when they bully the least of these like they did me or the others like me before me. God, as much as I hope that You will turn Tom around in the next week or two, I am losing hope. In some ways, it means that he is showing his true nature and character which is not Christlike at all, and if that is the case, then he truly is in no position to be anyone's "shepherd" anymore. But God, why? And God, my dream is for a loving and accepting and safe church, even if it's just a small home based church, for people like me. But here's the ironic thing: Even if it turns out that Tom is no longer fit to remain in his position, I see that he is more fit to be a part of the church that I dream of. And maybe in some ways that is higher calling. Open his mind and heart and open my mind and heart. And God, if Tom is ready to forgive me, have him reinstate Facebook so I know because I want to be able to show him forgiveness and be able to retract my complaint. But until he evidences forgiveness toward me and repentance for his role in things, I have to let the complaint stay. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Abba Father by Rebecca St. James

I'm feeling like the eagle that rises

Flies above the earth and its troubles

Oh yes he knows that there are valleys below

But under his wings there's a stronger power

Oh Father, You are my strength

On You I wait upon

You make the road rise up to meet me

You make the sun shine warm upon my face

The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft

God I lift You high, You are my Abba

Running in this race till the finish line

The only road for me is the narrow

Not gonna stop or even look to the side

When I fix my eyes on You Jesus

Oh Father, You are my strength

Now more than ever

You make the road rise up to meet me

You make the sun shine warm upon my face

The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft

God I lift You high, You are my Abba

You make the road rise up to meet me

You make the sun shine warm upon my face

The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft

God I lift You high, You are my Abba

When you run too far

(And the road is long)

Can't walk another mile

(He is waiting)

Hope in Him again

(He'll renew you)

Then you will rise

Gather up your wings and fly

You make the road rise up to meet me

You make the sun shine warm upon my face

The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft

God I lift You high, You are my Abba

You make the road rise up to meet me

 You make the sun shine warm upon my face

The wind is at my back and the rain falls soft

God I lift You high, You are my Abba

Do you not know? 

Have you not heard?

He gives strength to the weary

To those who hope in Him

They will soar like eagles