A New Habit

Psalm 63:2 - So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.

Psalm 139:7-10 - Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take with the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 

Isaiah 40:11 - He will tend to his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.

Psalm 63 - My Soul Thirsts for You

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. But those who seek to destroy my life shall go down into the depths of the earth; they shall be given over to the power of the sword; they shall be a portion for jackals. But the king shall rejoice in God; all who swear by him shall exult, for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

Dear God, I want to believe and I want to trust You. But I am too scared. Because the last person I trusted screwed up so badly and hurt me so deeply that I am afraid to trust You. My trust has been shaken and it is not easy for me to trust anyone, let alone a God whom I am just unsure of more now than ever. I do see in Psalm 63 though that You will deal with him and the others that have hurt me so much as to cause me to stumble. God, he used the excuse of having to be a shepherd to the flock. The problem is that his analogy is weak because the way a GOOD shepherd is described, the good shepherd will leave the flock to go in search and rescue of the one who is lost. And heaven will rejoice so much more for that one than for all the others. Again, God, you know my heart with regard to Tom right now, and you know that I desire to do II Corinthians 13:11 and seek peace and aim for restoration. Soften his heart for a conversation that is much needed so that I can finally move forward no matter what direction that may be. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Avalon - Hide My Soul (YouTube)

Here I am with nothing left to say

How can I even speak?

All my dreams lie scattered

Like ashes beneath my feet

Can you see the pain behind the smiles

The tears run down my face

Will the sun ever shine on me again?

Where can I hide? Oh oh

Where can I hide? Oh oh oh

Where can I hide? Oh oh oh

I will hide my soul in Jesus

I will rest my heart in Him

When the storms of life rush over me

I will not let them in

There will be no pain in heaven

But for now and until then

I will hide my soul in Jesus

Now I know there's nothing I can do

Nothing that I can say

You alone are the anchor of my soul

Don't let me slip away

Can you see the pain behind my smile

The tears run down my face

Will the sun ever shine on me again?

Where can I hide? Oh oh

Where can I hide? Oh oh oh

Where can I hide? Oh oh oh

I will hide my soul in Jesus

I will rest my heart in Him

When the storms of life rush over me

I will not let them in

There will be no pain in heaven

But for now and until then

I will hide my soul in Jesus

Where can I hide? Oh oh

Where can I hide? Oh oh oh

Where can I hide? Oh oh oh

I will hide my soul in Jesus

I will rest my heart in Him

When the storms of life rush over me

I will not let them in

There will be no pain in heaven

But for now and until then

I will hide my soul

I will hide my soul in Jesus

I will hide my soul 

No pain, no pain in heaven

In heaven

I will hide my soul in Jesus

There will be no pain in heaven

Day Four

Jesus Calling day 4. Title in the kids version: "A New Habit." Learn to trust Jesus in everything that happens and say it aloud.

Wow. New year. New transitions. New things. New situations. New new new. But yes, make it a new habit to say, "I trust You, Jesus" no matter what? Even in the midst of hardship?

Okay, this is getting intensely scary. Focal passages Isaiah 40:11 and Psalms 63:2 and 139:7-10.

The passage that struck me the most today? Psalm 139:7-10. This is the same chapter where the psalmist declares that God made him and knew him, even in the womb. "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

This verse reminds me of the Avalon song, "Hide My Soul," featured on the Left Behind film soundtrack. It also reminds me of another song. Rebecca St. James "Universe" which actually quotes some of this passage.

Dear God, help me to know You are always there and can be trusted even when others seem to fail me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Another prayer today:

Dear God, help Tom and his family know that even if the baby does not come on her due date, You are still in control. You know EXACTLY what YOU are doing and are in control. The baby You are forming right now IS fearfully and wonderfully made. She will be perfectly created by Your hands. Regardless of the timing. We are often rigid in our thinking and timing. But we quickly forget that YOU are the ultimate timekeeper. Please if you would, allow the baby to come on her own. Allow her not to be TOO late. Get her ready to come out into this world so she can meet her anxiously excited family. Move her into a position so she will come out. Everyone is ready to meet her. In Jesus' Name, Amen.