On Autism, Vaccines, and Why the Unvaccinated Are a Threat

Wait, I know you're about to ask, why on a blog about your journey through theology? Bear with me, you'll soon see.

1. I am a survivor. It turns out I was exposed to rubella when my mom was pregnant with me. She nearly lost me at five months. I was born tiny. I was born sick. And all because of that rubella exposure. Doctors gave me five years outside of a bubble. I have since surpassed by, but it means that the rubella exposure did not do anything to help me. To this day, we know that I have a progressive congenital rubella syndrome. And it has impacted me systemically.

2. Because of that rubella exposure in the womb, my development was disrupted. I was born without an entire component of my complement immune deficiency which makes me more susceptible to bacterial infections. And I most likely had what would have been called global developmental disorder, but it turns out I am autistic. So I am autistic and immune deficient.

3. Mom was exposed to Agent Orange during her service during the Vietnam Era. Getting the VA to do anything has been like pulling teeth from a crocodile. Not to be insensitive to anything that has occurred this week. We suspect to some extent that agent orange could also contribute to the autism.

4. As a result of what is now CVID (common variable immune deficiency), I am unable to get live vaccines (chicken pox, measles, mumps, rubella, shingles, and flu mist). This means I need all who are medically able to be vaccinated. I had chicken pox. In adulthood. And I have no antibodies. I had measles four months later. I am fortunate to have antibodies. I also have antibodies to rubella. But despite vaccinations, I have no antibodies for mumps. And despite having had it and vaccines, having no antibodies for chicken pox could mean a repeat and worse case for me. Chicken pox followed by measles followed a mutated strain of flu four months after that led to a partial sensorineural hearing loss - reverse loss. Reverse loss only has two causes: damage from prolonged listening to loud sounds or damage from high fevers associated with infections.

5. Why are the unvaccinated a threat? Babies too young to be vaccinated. People like myself who have immune deficiencies. People like myself who have other medical conditions that can make it harder to safely vaccinate. Cancer and leukemia patients. Patients with autoimmune diseases. I will refer you to Immune Deficiency Foundation with regard to herd immunity. http://www.empr.com/features/immune-deficiency-foundation-issues-new-recommendations-for-vaccination-of-immunodeficient-patients/article/339543/

6. No, vaccines did not cause autism. To even say that is to discredit the autistics who lived before vaccines ever existed and to discredit the unvaccinated autistics. The Denmark study confirmed that autism is not in any higher rates in the vaccinated than in the unvaccinated and that rates were pretty even among both. And it is not the only one. Also, for a vaccine to cause autism, it would have to go from the muscle into which it is injected, jump over into the bloodstream, then change the very wiring in the brain where autism is AND the DNA. I know vaccines can be strong in preventing diseases, but I don't think they are strong enough to jump through all those hoops?

7. Rise in rates of autism? Not really. When I was a child, not a lot was known about autism. We did not have internet in homes like we do now. We did not have 24/7 access to media and information like we do now. And it was very rare that girls were diagnosed. As for before I was born, most were sent to institutions or homes and were hardly ever seen again afterward. Autism also went by many names other than autism - touched in the head was a term I had to research after reading it in a book whose main character encounters an autistic who is nonverbal and at risk. In other words, they thought autistics were possessed by the devil at one point. The spectrum was broadened to include all levels of autism, including Asperger's. We now have more access to more information. And as a result, the rates seem like they have gone up even though the reality might be just the opposite and rates might have actually stayed the same. Plus, because of autistic adults like myself who have been pushed off the societal cliff with regard to services we need, there is a huge push to diagnose as early as possible.

Now how does any of this relate to theology?

God created all people, autistic or not, in His image. And if you consider how God relates to His children, there are several things about Him that technically could be on the autism spectrum itself. Brutal honesty is one. Creativity. Loyalty. Loving. Yet also angry and torn. Emotional. You cannot separate God from nature. And God's nature is immutable. If God's nature is immutable, then He cannot create anything that is broken or damaged. Sin can disrupt things, but otherwise, everything is just as God intended it to be.

Some people say they refuse to vaccinate on the grounds of religion. When asked, they cite "fetal tissue cells from an aborted baby." Do we know for sure that the tissue cells were actually from an aborted baby or maybe it was just a baby that died from natural causes? Even if it was an aborted baby, there might have been medical reasons for that woman to abort. And even further still, God gave some men and women out there the brains to be able to redeem a seemingly tragic situation and turn it into something that has since saved millions of babies, children, teenagers, and adults from diseases that used to kill or disable someone. Also, now that we grow vaccines in eggs, would they really still be using that cell line?

It doesn't take a genius to follow the history of diseases before vaccines to see the good they do. And it was never God's intent for His children to avoid medical prevention just because they want to find the grey areas in the scripture. Not one person who has used religion as an excuse has been able to actually provide a specific scripture where vaccines would be prohibited. They instead refer to Psalm 139 or the Ten Commandments. Of course, the trouble with arguing with an immune deficient autistic is that I can usually throw the Ten Commandments back at them with the admonition and reminder that it is wrong to murder and how bringing back diseases that are now preventable would be akin to murder if I am exposed.

Also, if you want to follow an interesting discussion, look up Marco Arturo and his video. The kid is literally a genius. Too bad some "adults" thought it would be appropriate to bully him like they did. All they did was hurt their cause when they did that.

Dear God, I am going to end my post here. But if even just one person reads it and learns something from it, that is one more person who needed to read it and learn something from it. Thank you God for another day of life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

How to Effectively Deal with a Bully

http://susanelizabeth31.blogspot.com/2016/06/a-very-open-letter-to-disqus-bully.html

So this is about a repeat offender who has chosen a two month old comment about my personal experience with autism and how I was impacted by being exposed to rubella in the womb. I have reported him, but clearly Disqus has chosen to allow him to continue. Well, after much prayer, I have decided to once again out him for his bullying. And this is probably more effective than responding to him.

Repentant Heart or Stupid Fool

So, for those who may not know, some rapper I have never listened to and never will received backlash this week for a video he posted on social media of a young man while that young man was working. The rapper? 50 Cent. What kind of nickname is that?  I don't know but I do think his nickname sure matches what his personality is worth. 

What was the issue? The issue is that the young man he chose to defame this time is autistic and hard of hearing. But the rapper claimed he was high on drugs and whatever else. The rapper got up in the young man's personal space video recording him and tearing him down.

Now for those of you do not know, I am also autistic. I am autistic and a Christian. BUT, here's where things get me. While 50 Cent made an "apology" and then a donation to Autism Speaks, his apology could not have been sincere and he could not have been repentant. And I cannot forgive him. 

Why? 

This is not 50 Cent's first act of hostility against the autistics. Back in 2012, he made a comment to a fan on his Twitter feed saying that the fan looked autistic and that he didn't want special Ed kids following him. And back in 2012, he got backlash, apologized, and made a donation to Autism Speaks. 

Yet here we are again. 

I have seen some pretty brutal things in the days following this new situation. Everything from well, how could he know the guy was autistic or why wasn't the guy wearing a sign? 

What? Are we going back to those days? Really? 

Of course, I told one of those people saying the guy should have been wearing a sign that maybe he needed to wear a sign so autistics would know he was an ignorant person. 

I did take some time to process things before I wrote a statement myself to 50 Cent and in that I expressed honestly that I cannot forgive him as this was not his first offense. I also expressed concern for what his kid might be learning. 

Look, I know as a Christian I should be forgiving, but when someone evidences the level of hate toward someone like me repeatedly, it gets harder because there is that thing called a repentant heart. Did 50 Cent learn from the first time? Clearly not. And I wonder how many other times he has done this before that, before social media allowed information to be shared faster than ever before? 

50 Cent is not a good human being. Even if the young man had not been disabled and just doing his job, a good human being does not make accusatory videos like that then post them on social media. A good human being simply does not do that kind of thing.

But here's the thing that makes me angry: that young man might look autistic (neither do I), but odds are that if we don't look autistic (what does autism look like though, really) that a lot of time was spent in therapy and interventions so that we don't look autistic. However, the thing that could hurt the most is that that video could have cost that young man his job, a job which was not easy for him to get in the first place and is not easy to keep. I know all too well the difficulty in getting and keeping a job for as much as I try, I just don't have success getting past the interview stage. 

For the most part, many autistics are unemployed or underemployed because while the autism itself is not necessarily disabling, societal attitudes are. Society thinks that if we do not fit their mold, in their little boxes, that we are broken, less than deserving, less than human.... I know this as I experienced some of those attitudes from a church of all places. And the thing is, I have lived with those attitudes all my life, even before my official diagnosis was made. 

Would it have been different for me had we known before? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But does it have to remain that way? Absolutely not. 

My life took a weird turn over the course of the last few months or so. I became an advocate. And here's the thing: my advocacy might have more potential than that of those who do not actually have the disabilities they advocate for. Because while they may be advocating, they don't actually live it. 

I have seen a lot of people say that 50 Cent should be required to work with autistics. As an autistic, I say no, he should not be allowed around them unsupervised. He has not evidenced the ability to even be a respectful human being. 

Reflection: I am not sure who is scarier at this point - 50 Cent or Trump. 

Dear God, I pray that as I wrestle through some of these hard-hitting issues that You strengthen me and give me wisdom. May others learn through what I have experienced and through what I write about, which is what I know. And bless the mothers out there today. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

The Tow Truck and His "Christianity"

The story making the rounds this week, and there is another one I will address in another post because the sensitive nature of it is one I need some more time to process a post about, is about the disabled woman who was abandoned on the side of the road after an accident by a tow truck that was dispatched to her. 

After much information gathering to get the full report that has been published (many sources only chose blurbs), what we know of the woman is that she was driving out of her home state and was involved in a collision when a semi cut into her lane. Her car became non-functional and she called a mechanic who is aware of her multiple disabilities. He dispatched a tow truck to her location informing them of the disabilities. But the tow truck arrived and then denied her service because she is a Sanders supporter. 

What he also know is that the driver claimed God told him to leave her there and that he claims he is not a bigot. Let me remind you what the definition of a bigot is: anyone who is intolerant of another's expression of their opinion. Bigotry can come in many forms. The tow truck driver acted, not out of Christianity, but out of bigotry when he denied that woman service. 

You shall know them by their fruit. You shall indeed! What that man did was not Christlike. It was hatred. And further,ore, it left a disabled woman stranded until another truck could be dispatched to her.

He claimed that other people had not paid him his fee. But in this case, he did not even ask for the fee because as soon as he saw her bumper sticker, he developed some preconceived notion about that woman. 

I have written our own insurance company about it and suggested a blacklist because while my family will not put bumper stickers on the car, not even the ones that explain about autism, for this very reason, I would hate to imagine what he would do if he encountered us. 

The man also is a confessed Trump supporter. 

Here is what I know about Trump. Trump is NOT a Christian. Trump is hateful. Trump spreads fear and hate everywhere he goes. We have children in classes around the country fearing for their lives. We have disabled people fearing for their lives. And all because of Trump. 

Here is why I, too, am also fearful because of Trump: I posted my opinion of the story after I had done elaborate research to make sure I was getting the full story as a few of the media outlets mentioned for full story see this source. I then developed my opinion based upon the information I did gather. While I have had a few that have agreed with me, many of attacked me, some even going so far as to flat out attack and insult me and call me stupid. 

As an autistic woman, any comment calling me stupid is deemed as hate speech. Any comment trying to discredit me just because I am autistic is deemed as hate speech. And none of it is tolerated. Autistics are not stupid. But these are Trump supporters for you apparently. If his supporters are like that, I do not want Trumo anywhere near the White House! 

Many have even tried to say if the woman was too disabled to lift the hood of her car that she should not have been driving. There is nothing in the driver prerequisites saying one needs to be able to lift the hood of the car! 

I will say this though, my job, unpaid as it may be, is advocacy. I advocate for me. I advocate for others like me. And in my advocacy, I educate. Unless someone chooses to remain willfully ignorant. Then I block. Because I cannot allow that kind of toxic into my life. 

As TobyMac says, "Speak Life." And I believe those words actually originated with Jesus. 

What can you do if you are reading this? 

First, do not give that tow truck driver your business. Second, if you see a stranded motorist for whatever the reason, and if it is safe for you to do so, help them. 

To that tow truck driver: Shame on you. You were mean and hateful and being a bigot. You were not Christlike. 

Dear God, some of my posts through the remainder of the year will be highlighting current events that hit me hardest. May people who read about it be open-minded enough to learn something from them. They will be hardcore like me because You have matured me in a way that is uniquely the way You have chosen to shape me at this point. Thank You for the experiences You have chosen to allow me to have so I can speak life to others even when life has not been spoken to me. Thank You, in Jesus' Name, Amen!

A Prayer for This Election Day

God, Today is the primaries in a lot of state, and God, as I go in myself to choose the proper candidate on the democrat side (I am now officially denoting myself as a democrat due to the hatred and oppression I have observed from republicans), help me to choose those candidates who will fight for every human being alive today. Be it access to healthcare which so many republican governors have blocked or disability issues, today is vital not only for me but for those who may be unable to vote for themselves. One thing my disabilities did for me was open my eyes that the reason I vote goes beyond not agreeing with abortion. God, I am so sorry I never thought of that before these last few years. I ask for forgiveness for my own part in allowing some of these hateful people into positions of power. I pray through Matthew 25:31-46 and Romans 13:1-7 entering this election today. And may I always pray through it when Election Day comes around. Dear republican reading this, I urge you to open your Bible and to read those two passages. Then I urge you to ask yourself the following: Do I speak ill of the president we currently have? Do I talk down on people who are on SNAP (food stamps), TANF (welfare), SSI/SSDI (disability), SS (elderly), Medicaid (disabled and children), Medicare (elderly and veterans), and minimum wage? Look your words can either support your actions or they can contradict your actions. But if you are a Christian, your words should line up with your actions. And how you act on social media is just as important as how you act off of social media. Anymore, social media is likely the first thing people will judge or misjudge you by. And if what you say and do on social media is out of line, it could negatively affect your witness and testimony. Why should I believe that you are a Christian when you do the things I encourage you to ask yourself? Christians (no, Trump is not a Christian) are known by their fruit. Is the fruit good or bad? If the fruit attracts someone to God, then it is good. If the fruit repeals someone from God, then it is bad. And bad fruit must be separated from good fruit or else all the fruit goes bad. God, today, I pray hard. Really hard. Today is one of the tests of life kind of days. Today can influence how Election Day in November will look. Oh, and I pray that the weather will not be bad enough to be a deterrent. We cannot complain if we don't vote. And even then, we have to put it all in Your sovereign hands. You know my needs. May those needs be fulfilled today. Thank You God. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

God Is Always There

Going through the ups and downs, realizing that the world is out of my control right now, my world is out of my control, not understanding why my life is upside down, not being able to grasp the gravity of things, all I can do is let go. Let God have it. And that's it. I cannot look back at this point. I cannot look down. I have to look ahead and look up. There's nothing else I can do. Hold on baby. Hold on. Hold on tight. Your life does depend on it. Here God. Take it. The waiting is hard. The waiting is tough. The waiting is scary. The unknowns. Will it be the same. Will it be higher. If it is higher, what will happen next? Will it hurt? Yeah, it will definitely hurt, but how bad will it hurt? Where is the money going to come from to help pay for what is needed? We need blessing. We need peace. Most of all peace. Miracles. I am a miracle in itself. I never should have lived this long according to doctors. Poo on them. They were wrong. You had bigger plans apparently. Laugh. Live. Love. It's all I can do. But you look fine. But you don't look sick. But you don't look disabled. But you don't look handicapped. But you're so young. Shut up world. You don't know what's happening inside of my body. You cannot see that right inside my very body, it is a constant battle just to live. And the day I look like how I feel inside is the day I have lost. I refuse to lose until God says it is time. I refuse to quit. I may have to scale back. I may have to limit myself more. But I will not quit. God wants me here. Why? Why would God allow me to suffer? I don't know. Is He allowing me to suffer? Or has He chosen to use me to bless someone else through my struggle? God is powerful. God is in control. I'm not God. I cannot read His thoughts. He can read mine though. And each day He gives me courage to stand against the people who use His name but bash the poor and the disabled and the elderly and the veterans and the president of my country. I am unafraid to be offensive if that is what it takes. I am unafraid to call it like I see it. Case in point, Trump is the most hateful thing I have ever heard. And he has people fooled. But he looks like an Oompa Loompa from the original Willy Wonka film and that thing on his head looks worse than the stuff my cat pukes up. Yeah, gross, I know, but it is my brutal honesty. Autism is funny like that sometimes. Ted Cruz looks constipated. Someone get him a bottle of Miralax please. Why is a Canadian running anyway? Ugh. Healthcare. We need to get rid of insurance companies. They are greedy little turds. They make our costs higher. Come on Sanders. I like Sanders. He is an honest little spitfire like me. He is unafraid to call it as he sees it. I admire that. I wish more people would do that. God is in control. Ha ha. Look, God is always there. Even in my rambling thoughts, He comes through and says wrap it up kid. Hope you get some chuckles from reading this, but most of all, hope you take away this: God is in control and God is always there. You are never alone. Thanks for reading.

Creative Writing - That One

This is inspired by something I saw about the gun control measures the president decided to take action on. It was apparently said, "Why bother enacting anything if we cannot save them all?" So now I am wondering what would have happened if Jesus and His Father had a similar conversation? 

God: Son, I need you to go down to earth on a mission. You will be born as a baby. You will live to age 33. You will go around preaching my words and then you will be crucified on a cross. 

Jesus: But dad, why?

God: Because I want to save some of the people down there. I have compassion for them and I want to love them and have fellowship with them. But I cannot stand what they have become of late. They ridicule the poor, they leave the sick to die, and they starve the hungry. They are not doing what I have commanded them to do. 

Jesus: Some? Not all? But dad, if I cannot save them all, why bother trying?

God: Because Son, even if you manage to only get through to one and I can only save one, that is still one who will be saved. If you don't go, that one will be lost forever.

Jesus: Okay, dad, you're right. Is not that one worth more than a thousand if that one might go on to help do even greater things? Maybe that one that I help will turn around and help a thousand more.

God: Now you're thinking! Oh, and Son?

Jesus: Yes, dad?

God: I love You. 

All for that one. Jesus came for that one. God sent His Son for that one.