Thursday, August 22, 2013

720 Hours or 30 Days

You have 30 days in an average month. 720 hours. How are you spending all of those hours? 

You see I have asked the following of a friend: One 10 minute phone call per week, one in person quality time visit per month. In the grand scheme of things, I have asked for a little less than 2 hours of time in one month. 2 hours of 720 hours. That still leaves him with 718 hours to do the rest of everything he has to do with his life. 

But he basically said no. He said he doesn't have time. Doesn't have time to be my friend. Doesn't have time for friendship with me. 

The struggle I have considering what I consider to be a very REASONABLE request is that he has essentially said he has no room for me, no room for a friendship he and I fought so hard for, no room for a friendship he fought harder to keep than even me. 

The message I got was that I am not wanted anymore. That I am expendable. That I am not loved. That I am less deserving of friendship with him than anyone else. 

I understand he has work and family and maybe other friends. Well good for him. But of 720 total hours in 30 days, he cannot find less than 2 full hours a month for me? 

It hurts. And yet again, I am left wishing I was normal and that God hadn't created me the way He did. I am left wondering why God hates me, why my friend hates me. 

720 hours, 30 days. Are you too busy for friends? 

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