Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Letter to Gomer in Hosea

Dear Gomer,

You know something? I get it. I really do. Probably more than most people.

Gomer, who hurt you? Who abused you or molested you? Who promised to never abandon you but still did? Was it your father? Was it a friend? It doesn't really matter who though.

I know you're hurting. I know you're desperate. I feel your pain. Because you and I are a lot alike. Well, except for the prostitute lifestyle you chose.

You see, Gomer, I have been hurt. I have been abused. I don't know for certain, but I may have molested. I have been abandoned. Several times. My "father." Friends.

I feel pretty helpless. Hopeless. Frustrated. Scared. Desperate.

Gomer, I started cutting because of it. Like you, I don't know what else to do. But unlike you, I don't think prostitution is the answer.

Gomer, I have been hearing about a God who supposedly loves those He chooses. And I have been hearing that this God also pursues those He loves and chooses. Like Hosea does with you.

Gomer, I say supposedly because I don't really know because I don't have that God in my life. You see, I have been hurt and abused and abandoned by those who say they love me and promise not to abandon me that I am skeptical about this God I have heard about.

But I am curious about that God. Because what I have is no different than the people who did all those things. And what I have heard says that what I have is not God.

But I want to know more about this God. Because I can see that this God is pursuing me like Hosea pursued you. And I need that God.

Gomer, maybe we should both stop trying so hard to run away. Maybe we should both stop running and let ourselves be caught by these pursuers.

I know it's scary, but maybe we need to do that.

Of course, it might help if some of the people in our lives could help us out a little bit and take our hands and help us with it. Sometimes we can't do it on our own because we have been wounded so much that we are literally paralyzed with fear. So if someone came along to take our hands and to go with us, maybe we can at least meet our pursuers in the middle.

Do you have someone who can do that? Or like me, do you need and want someone who can and will do that?

Anyway, Gomer, I just wanted to write you this letter to help you know that you are not alone. And even though I know that you will never reply to this letter because you lived a very long time ago, I wanted you to know that I get it. That I understand.

Sincerely,

SE Spann

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